What to Do When Moms and Dads Disagree about their Child’s Tantrums

Johnny is on the floor screaming and crying. Your teen just stormed to her room after yelling at you. Tommy put his head on the table and refuses to talk to you.

Your child’s tantrums and emotional upsets are never fun. But they become even more complicated and challenging when you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye on how to respond to these already difficult moments.

Usually moms and dads fall on opposite ends of the spectrum. One believes in firm rules, structure and discipline. The other is more flexible and interested in making sure their child is happy.

Because tantrums are such emotionally-charged situations, it’s easy for you and your partner to get your own emotions triggered. You lose your cool and become frustrated or angry about the way your partner just handled your child’s emotional upset.

You may believe your partner is too harsh and critical. Your partner believes your child needs more structure and that you’re letting your child walk all over you and perhaps even encourages the tantrums.

It’s important to your child and to your family’s emotional well-being that you and your partner work together, that you are equal, loving partners with one another.

Here are some quick tips to help you work things out –

1. Remember neither of you nor your partner is wrong. When it comes to parenting, the important question is not right or wrong. The important question is how can we make this work.

2. Acknowledge both you and your partner have part of the answer. Begin from that you are both ‘right.’

3. Talk together to understand each perspective when times are peaceful and calm. Trying to work things out in the heat of the moment guarantees conflict and misunderstandings.

4. Together focus on what’s happening with your child emotionally and what’s causing his upset. Simply trying to manage and control her behavior will never get to the heart of the problem and the tantrums will continue.

5. Get on the same page. Your child needs both your and your partner’s loving, consistent presence. Her emotional well-being depends on it.

Want new ideas and tips about how to easily and effectively respond to your child’s emotional upsets? I invite you to check out my new teleclass “Parents Keep Your Cool: How to Effectively and Lovingly Respond to Your Child’s Emotional Upsets and Tantrums”