Coaching > Joyous Parenting

Joyous Parenting Training-

Parenting just got easier and a lot more fun!

For every parent who is committed to being the best parent s/he can be.

Parenting can be a deeply joyous, fulfilling experience. It can also be one of the most challenging, frustrating and painful when your interactions with your child are difficult or you see your child struggling. Because being a good parent is so important to you, you may wonder if you’re doing everything you can to be the parent you most want to be.

You know that what you do today affects your child and your relationship with your child for the rest of your lives. The actions you take and the words you say have a lasting impact on your child’s future, her feelings about herself and about life, and the ease or difficulty with which she creates a life she loves. It also deeply impacts your relationship together for the rest of your lives.

One of the most common frustrations parents experience is not being able to get your child to consistently act the way you want or the way you think he needs to act in order to succeed as an adult. If you’re like most parents, you’ve tried lots of strategies that may have worked for a while, but that come up short in the long term. Your child’s and your old negative patterns tend to repeat without real significant change.

Does any of this sound familiar?

You are so busy getting things done and taking care of tasks that you have little quality time for the loving connection you long for with your child.
You argue, correct, remind, and tell your child “no” more than you’d like.
You worry about letting your child have his way, and you have frequent power struggles to work things out.
You’re unsure as a parent if you’re doing the right things.
You run short on patience and understanding when your child keeps misbehaving.
The problem is you’re not having as much fun as you want or enjoying your child.
Your child hits, yells, or has an emotional meltdown when she doesn’t get what she wants.
You have to pry information out of your child to get her to tell you anything. She is withdrawn, quiet and shy.
Your child is struggling in some area of his life - grades at school, friendships, eating poorly, being frenetic or unfocused, drugs. You have tried to improve the situation, but it’s not getting better.

You may feel you know and understand your child, but what I've found is that in our culture, we aren't trained to pay attention to or to understand emotions. Because of this, your child may be hurting with feelings such as self-doubt, loneliness, and being unloved, of which you are unaware.

Today’s children are not the same as yesterday’s children. Children born today are much less willing to be compliant. They want the freedom to be who they are and to follow their heart and their passions. This explains why the old ways of doing things (often the way you were raised) and the old structures, like traditional education, are not working.

Consider what it would be like for you as a parent to…

Know you are doing a great job and to see your skillful, aware parenting reflected daily in the eyes and life of your child.
Share the intoxicating joy, wonder and delight of pure love with your child.
Have your child cooperate and do things you ask more willingly, even without reminders.
Tune into your child’s subtle emotional cues so you respond sensitively and compassionately to his emotional needs and challenges.
Have realistic, developmentally-appropriate expectations of your child.
Relate harmoniously with your child so that conflict and misunderstandings seldom occur, and when they do, you and your child work things out without leftover resentment or hurt feelings.
Have more fun as a parent by relaxing and deeply enjoying your child.
Trust your child to make wise choices on her own.
See your child create what he wants in his life, relating effectively with others and learning from his mistakes.
Experience being loved, appreciated, and valued as a trusted guide and friend by your child.
Observe your child being radiantly whole and joyously sharing her unique gifts and talents with the world.

Parents love their kids, but they get into trouble because the tools they have often focus on behavior and not Emotional Wholeness. Emotional Wholeness is a state of being who you are, listening to yourself and doing what feels best to you. Emotional wholeness gives you and your child a strong sense of personal identity and confidence, the ability to feel deeply and live life with freedom, clarity, focus, joy and love of self and others.

When children try to please their parents, they compromise their own Emotional Wholeness and lose their inner guidance to make smart choices to live a joy-filled life. When you learn to observe the signs of how your child is doing emotionally, you become powerfully effective in nurturing his emotional wholeness and awaken his natural desire and ability to grow and flourish. Then parenting becomes an exciting adventure filled with moments of discovery and heart-felt connection with your child.

Because today’s children require a new style of parenting, you need to know how to allow freedom and self-expression while clearly setting limits that empower your child and not limit him. You need to be an insightful, aware guide and facilitator and not a disciplinarian. You need to be the best person you can be in order to be the best parent you can be.

People lament that children do not come with a manual, but what I’ve found is that every child comes with his own manual. Your child constantly gives you feedback and information about who she is and how she is doing. When you learn to “read” the manual your child came with and learn how to respond with insightful awareness, the challenging times become easier and the good times so much sweeter.

There is a way for you to have what you most want for your child – to have your child feel confident and loved, to be self-sufficient and joyous in life, to love and like himself, and to love you as a special, trusted person in his life.

Create an Emotionally Healthy Relationship with your Child with the Joyous Parenting Training!

This empowering, leading edge approach to parenting teaches you five transformational ingredients essential to create a powerful, dynamic partnership with your child. When you implement these ingredients in your life, you express your natural ability as a parent with wisdom, insight and skill.

You develop the skills to empower your child. When you empower your child, you create an emotional environment that nurtures the biggest, brightest expression of who he is. You consciously choose not to teach or force your limiting beliefs, feelings and personal agenda on your child. Instead, you facilitate and nurture the emerging whole expression of who he is.

This training is designed for parents with children of any age, from new born to adult. The five principles are the same no matter what the age of your child. How you implement them depends on your child’s age, your life situation, and who you are as a person.

This is not a one-size-fits-all cookie-cutter approach to parenting. Because parents in the training have children of different ages, previous participants report this dramatically expanded the knowledge they took from the training.

Learn in an intimate group.

In our group, you'll meet weekly on a phone conference call with a small group of parents who, like you, desire to be the best parent they can be. The training is filled with experiential exercises that guide you to discover the principles and skills you need to be an empowering parent. You'll have the opportunity to share your successes and concerns and to learn from the other parents’ experiences.

Each week you will have exercises that you do at home to assist you in developing your skills. Most of these are experiential and interactive so they require little additional time. You simply learn as you explore and practice.

Plus you'll receive personal feedback from me as you progress on your parenting journey, in which I offer you suggestions and new perspectives to consider and explore. Because our group is small, there is time to get your personal questions answered.

Learn five essential ingredients for Joyous Parenting!

With the first ingredient, you learn to nurture your emotional connection with your child. Your emotional connection is based on the kind of feelings you and your child experience when you are together. These feelings determine the amount of love and trust you have with one another. This emotional connection is the foundation upon which every other part of your life together is built.

The next ingredient is to focus on your self first. This is the source of your power and ability to create a relationship with your child filled with the intoxicating joy, wonder and delight of pure love. When you take full responsibility for your part in the relationship, not only do you create an environment in which your relationship can flourish, but you are focusing on what you have control over. When you shift your perception and your behavior, your child changes her behavior also.

The third ingredient of parenting with joy is to follow your inner guidance and feelings. You have a natural ability to create a joyous, loving relationship with your child based on mutual recognition, appreciation and trust. To access your inner wisdom, you must free yourself from your beliefs, fears, and expectations that keep you repeating old behaviors and that limit your ability to hear your inner wisdom. In this part of the program, you are led through exercises to uncover your limiting thoughts and feelings and then guided to discover new empowering perspectives (ways of seeing and interpreting events) that will powerfully shift how you perceive and relate with your child.

With the fourth ingredient, you develop a new-found ability to recognize, appreciate and trust your child. Most of us have the habit of seeing and pointing out what we don’t like and what doesn’t work. When you increase your ability to effectively perceive your child's emotional needs, you find new ways of parenting that empower your child's emotional wholeness.

The fifth important ingredient develops your ability to set effective boundaries, limits, and structure for your child and yourself. This is one of the most challenging area for most parents. You know your child needs limits and guidance, but what rules should you set? Do you struggle to know where to draw the line? In this section of the training, you will gain powerful new insights and understandings about how to do this without limiting your child's creative spirit and actually having more closeness and connection with one another.

People come to me saying they wish they could get their child to behave, but when I talk with them further what emerges is they really want to enjoy parenting and to see their child grow and flourish. What I do is teach you a way to truly find the joy in parenting and to empower your child to be her best self. Then you relax as a parent and have a lot more fun!

Become a Better Parent and a Better Person

While the training is always focused on guiding you to have more ease, confidence and joy as a parent, the benefits of the program are more than the amazing parenting skills you develop. Your new-found love for your child inspires you to be the best person you can be. Your relationship with your child becomes a transformative cauldron that dramatically shifts how you perceive and relate with others in all areas of your life. You emerge a more expansive, insightful, open, and flexible person.

This training is not for everyone. To be successful, participation in this program requires that –

You are 100% ready to do what it takes to bring out the best in your child
You are deeply committed to being the best parent you can possibly be.
You are ready and willing to step into your power as a parent and to take responsibility for your own actions.
You are willing to give up complaining about your child and having her be a problem in your life.
You are fully available and willing to grow as a person and to not be limited by your old beliefs and fears.
You are ready to open your heart to the precious joy, wonder, and delight of creating a trusting, authentic, connected relationship with your awesome child!

When you sign-up for the Joyous Parenting Training, you will receive:

~ 8-week Joyous Parenting Training, which includes 8 75-minute teleclasses via phone

~ Individual guidance and feedback during the class

~ Access to all downloadable call recordings

~ PDF Discovery Journal that expands your progress with all five principles

Plus these one-of-a-kind bonuses:

Bonus No. 1

~ Getting Started with Joyous Parenting Home Study Program

This downloadable home study program teaches the essential information every parent needs to bring out the best in your child and to enjoy them more deeply than you imagined possible.

The program includes:

* 4 1-hour audios with transcripts

* Your own personal Discovery Journal, which will help you develop and implement the skills you're learning

* A full-color Tip Sheet to post where you can see it and to help keep you on-track with your parenting goals and desires

Bonus No. 2

~2 months FREE membership in my Joyous Family Coaching Circle

In my coaching circle, youl receive monthly Family Empowerment Calls, which you can attend ‘live’ or by listening to the recording, plus monthly meditations and full-color tip sheets to keep you centered, focused, and moving forward to achieve your family goals.

Bonus No. 3

~Your own personally autographed copy of Connie's new book Joyous Child Joyous Parent: How to Have More Fun and Joy with Your Child

This easy-to-read bokk delivers a powerful message and is filled with practical, inspiring guidelines to teach you essential parenting skills and strategies to handle the challenging times and enjoy the fun ones. Use it as a quick reference in an emotional crisis, a daily meditation, or as a textbook of effective parenting practices.

Here's what parents are saying about the Joyous Parenting Training.

Saw Changes Immediately!

The Joyous Parenting Training was a lifesaver for our family. As much as we love each other, our evenings together were often a strain, with dinner a miserable battle ground over what our son ate and how much he ate. Instead of being able to relax after work, I felt like I had more stress until the peace of bedtime. During his first grade year, our son Jasper started showing signs of stress, developing a compulsive jaw-pop and being highly self-critical.

When we started the JPT training, we saw changes immediately. My husband made more time to just be with the family. When we let go of worrying and managing what Jasper ate, dinner time started to be fun again, a time to kid around and share the day with each other (and he ate more!). We made connection a priority, and found more and more moments of real connection, reading, playing games, or just talking with each other.

Using the principles and exercises from the class, I learned to listen to my son more and struggle with him less. The more I communicated that I trusted him to handle things like getting ready on time in the morning, or to make good choices about food, the more he showed me how capable he is. Jasper's anxiety began to lift, and he began finding more things he liked about school and more aspects of himself that he was proud of.

When he's upset, my son can be pretty mouthy and critical. I learned to calmy establish my boundaries without lecturing. He surprised me several times about half way through the training by coming up to me the next day and apologizing for his behavior without any prompting.

We still have rough patches from time to time, but I feel much more confident that I have good tools to move through them. I know that if I am curious and observe, I usually get good clues for how to change the situation. I know that instead of hearing his angry words as complaints, I can listen for what he is trying to tell me about how he feels and what he needs. And I know if I am patient, usually together, he and I can come up with good strategies together.

Since the PWJ training, my husband and I are much more on the same page with our parenting. We realize we don't have to parent exactly the same way, but we have more confidence in each others ability to nurture our son and to help him grow. Our relationship is better because of it. Thanks, Connie! Isabel Parlett Santa Fe, NM

From a Dad who Discovered How to be the Parent His Child Wants Him to Be-

Before taking Connie’s Joyous Parenting Training, I struggled to understand my seven-year-old son’s emotional needs as an individual. It was one of those things where, because it was right under my nose, I couldn’t see it. I talked with friends who have children, but I would often find their style of parenting incompatible with my view. And of course what worked within their family was not always transferable to my son. So, it wasn't realistic to expect that their advice would work for me or my boy.

One of our biggest challenges would often crop up at mealtime. Our son didn’t have good eating habits. Being concerned that he didn't eat enough, I would offer reminders and direction about eating more. But, the experience often devolved to the point where he and I drew our swords and went to battle. My wife and I wanted this time to be one of family connection and sharing. Instead, it was filled with conflict.

I decided to take Connie’s training because I was curious to learn more about who this little person is and how he navigates the world. I wanted to know what interested Jasper, what was scary to him, what he wanted from me. Growing up without a father-figure in my life made it hard for me to have a frame of reference for how a father relates to his son.

During the training, I learned how to relate with Jasper more as a person and not as some romantic or contrived notion of what a father should be. I discovered how much closer Jasper and I could be when I was more myself with him.

I also now know how to approach challenges as a team with my wife. We have more consistency in what we do and a better sense of how to work together as parents.

The best thing I got from the Joyous Parenting Training is a closer relationship with my son. I realize now how much he likes to just hang out with me, his dad. I don’t have to manufacture a gee-wow experience for him to be happy. He doesn’t need the drama; he is more satisfied with genuine connection.

Dinner time is more enjoyable now. Jasper focuses on eating and being at the table for as long as he can stand it, and then when excused, takes off to do his own thing. We have much fewer struggles.

The Joyous Parenting Training encourages parents to gain insight into who their child is an individual. I discovered how to have an authentic level of connection with my son and how to deal with his thoughts and feelings without imposing a supposed template of how to parent. I learned how to be the person my child wants to have as his father. – Peter Lipscomb, Santa Fe, NM

Mother of Teen Re-Discovers Love and Joy for Her Son!

Before I signed up for the the Joyous Parenting Training with Connie Allen, I was truly struggling with my relationship with my 15-year-old son. We had fallen into so many bad habits. We were constantly at war. Neither of us would change, so I knew I had to do something to bring back love and respect in our relationship.

I chose the Joyous Parenting Training because that is what I wanted to feel again. Joy and love in my heart for my wonderful son. As I read through Connie's program, I thought, “Wow! This is it! I can do this. It feels right. This will come from my natural authentic self. It's there. I just have to find it.” Other programs were too complicated. I needed to try new behaviors and follow my heart.

In the training, I discovered that I needed to trust and work with my teenager’s will to have autonomy so it could be expressed in a way.. It was I that needed to have the courage to believe in my son and work with him..

Change came right away! There was peace and a harmonious relationship as my natural skills progressed. Conflicts gave way to my more authentic self. I found ways to stop micro-managing my teen so we had more fun together.

I am really glad that I took the responsibility to create joy in our relationship. It feels good to feel love again in my heart! We have children to love and cherish. I'm grateful everyday for the Joyous Parenting Training. - Linda Droll, Tucson Arizona

Written by a mom to her friend...

I agree that boundaries and consistency are important, but "authoritarian" has some bad connotations for me. I too have read numerous parenting books, most of which never stuck and I kept oscillating between "Don't crush that dwarf" and "I'm in charge here."

What I had never learned, because I was raised in a loving but authoritarian environment, was how to set boundaries without attacking/controlling the other person. My approach had always been, I don't like what is happening here so I am going to change you. This "worked" when the kids were smaller and relatively dependent and devoted to me. This tactic failed miserably when my oldest reached the "independence and separation" stage of adolescence.

Suddenly (or so it seemed) it was no longer essential to him that he maintain my good opinion. The establishment of himself took on a greater strength and urgency. Our relationship deteriorated and I watched myself have less and less influence over him--and seemingly had to rely more and more on threats and consequences (which often were basically retributions punishments.) At that age, he was able to shut me out, and he did. Both of us were miserable, but I was the only one willing to admit I cared.

Time for a new approach.

I sought help from Connie Allen who is a parenting counselor. She is WONDERFUL and who helped me reclaim my relationship with my son. I had a few private counseling sessions with her, but what really helped me turn the corner was a 12 week phone-in course my husband and I took this fall.

What did I learn? She pointed out that if I do not have a positive relationship with my son, I will never be able to have any influence over him and so learning how to achieve that positive relationship was more important than any individual behavior issue.

From her, I learned how to speak up for myself and to set boundaries without attacking or trying to change my son (or anyone else for that matter.)

I learned to once again see the good and the wonderful in my son, which I had pretty much lost touch with through my constant irritation, resentment and anger.

I learned how to honor the point of view of my children while at the same time not sacrificing my needs and desires.

I strongly encourage you to check out her site Joy with Children, although it doesn't come close to getting across those essential lessons which I learned in her course. - Beth Haynes, Half Moon Bay, CA

Enjoy Your Child's Increased Happiness

"Connie is an amazing person with a kind heart and a generous spirit. Talking with her is fun and effortless - she makes me feel very comfortable. Her approach to having a joyful and meaningful relationship with my child has made a huge impact on my family. Both my husband and I are enjoying the time we spend with our daughter more and we can tell she is happier too. Thank you Connie for all your wise words and useful tips, I'm so glad we met you when we did." - Anna K, San Jose, CA

Loves Both Her Children Equally

The Joyous Parenting Training is a very unique, intensive and powerful training. I have 2 small children, and I did not like the feeling of having a favorite child. I wanted a more balanced and well nurtured relationship with both of them. Through this training, I’m now able to enjoy each of my children in a special way. My priorities are clear. I used to have lots of questions about whether I’m doing things right, or how to deal with different issues……

All the different exercises we did in class every week helped me find the answers from my heart. This is not a class about “techniques” or “how to” like the hundreds of parenting books available. This is truly a discovery class. It is personalized. It opened up my heart and mind. I’ve attended co-op preschools and sat through many parenting education classes. None of them offer me all the answers as this comprehensive training. The confidence I’ve gained is worth everything… the best investment indeed.
~ Denise.Long., Redwood City, CA

Keep Your Child's Beautiful Spirit Alive!

I attended one of Connie's lectures, and was impressed with her philosophy and method, so I signed up for her mailing list. I received an invitation to participate in her "Joyous Parenting" training. It sounded exactly like what I needed. My nine year old daughter was growing up, and as sweet as she is, was developing a teen "attitude". My reaction to her attitude was anger, and hearing myself made me just "cringe".

I had seen my own parents struggle and fail with my older sister's "attitude", and I did not want to repeat their misery and have the same disharmony in my own home. Yet, I didn't know what to do. I knew that the conventional authoritative parenting style of "because I say so, that's why!" did not work. I also knew that the backlash to that, the "I want to be your friend so much that I'm afraid to discipline" style didn't work either. What I wanted was to gain my daughter's cooperation without breaking her beautiful spirit. I wanted to set limits without the bickering and arguing that always chipped away at our love and affection for each other. Connie's course description promised to help put me on this path.

But, as great as it sounded, I had many reasons to pass on signing up for the training--I truly did not have the time in my schedule, the location was quite a distance from my home, and the expense was going to be a hardship. Yet, my desire to improve my relationship with my daughter, along with my confidence in Connie, convinced me to go for it.

I am so glad that I did!

I emerged from Connie's class a more self-confident and loving parent. Instead of lashing back in anger, I am now able to step back and look at the "big picture" before reacting. I made a decision that my relationship with my daughter was more important than whatever she did that bothered me, and I was given the tools to set appropriate boundaries without putting distance between us. I now approach each parenting challenge with an entirely new perspective, and I am closer to my daughter than ever before!"
~ Ann Charles, San Jose, CA

Develop a Consistent Approach to Parenting with your Partner

We're a blended family and were looking for away to make a successful transition from 2 separate families into one. Connie not only helped us create a consistent approach to our parenting, but one that honors everyone's role in the house and as a person. The principles that Connie teaches in the Joyous Parenting Training , if followed, make parenting easy and enjoyable.

For myself it has given me the tools to form a stronger bond with my step-daughter and set boundaries that honor me as a person. Brian feels that Connie helped us see the trees and the forest.

Connie is very supportive and helps keep you on track. She often said, "parenting doesn't have to be hard" and if you follow the principals in the class, it won't be. ~Brian and Lisa Jacobson, Roseville, CA

Here's what parents said about a similar eight-week training I did previously.

I now feel my son is a fun person to be around—even for all day! I’ve seen my son become a happier person at home and in his relating with children and adults. He has more self-confidence and less aggression. - Sharon Johnson, mother of 4-yr-old son

My sons and I have totally transformed how we relate with one another. We are so much more honest, open, and cooperative together. The best part is I see how much happier and confident they feel. - Marilyn, single mom of two teen boys

We don’t have to yell any more to communicate with each other. We used to yell a lot, especially me. Now we get our needs and wishes met easily, and there is no need to raise our voices at one another. - Annie, mother of 4 children, ages 5 – 14

I thought I had a great relationship with my kids before I did your training. Wow! I am amazed how much happier and more loving we all are! I feel so much closer to my kids. Thank you so much! Jean Koloff, Kenwood, CA, single mother of 3, ages 3 – 8

My relationship with my 7-year-old son was impossible before I took your class. I can’t believe how much he has changed. We now work things out easily without power struggles and getting angry. The best part is how much I’ve changed. I’m the kind of mom I always wanted to be. - Tina, mother of two, ages 7 and 10

I’m now the kind of mother my wonderful daughter deserves, and I see this reflected in her eyes every day. - Chery Ziffl,Windsor, CA, mother of 3-year-old daughter

What makes this program so uniquely valuable and transformative?

As far as I know, this is the only parent training that empowers you to discover, develop and express your natural ability to create a relationship with your child based on mutual recognition, appreciation and trust. It is also unique in that it is individualized and personal to your situation and to who you both are.

The Joyous Parenting Training program gives you an in-depth interactive group process that takes you beyond what you learn in traditional parenting programs or in a few individual coaching sessions with me. In this individualized training, you are personally guided by me to develop the skills and perceptions you uniquely need to be an empowering parent to your capable, creative child.

As I said before, this is not a one-size-fits-all cookie-cutter approach to parenting. You fully customize your own experience as you learn and grow.

The insights you discover and the skills you develop will benefit you and your child for the rest of your lives together. And the other really great part is this training will impact your grandchildren and all cihldren whose lives you touch.

Are You Ready to Discover How to Read the Manual Your Child Came With?

I recommend that you and your partner take this class together. When you and your partner parent in harmony with a shared vision, your child flourishes, and everyone is aligned with one another. To make it easy for the two of you to share this experience together, your partner may be a full participant and receive all of the benefits with no additional cost to you!

Registration Information

The 8-week Joyous Parenting Training + Bonuses for you and your spouse is $697.

This includes…

* 8-week Joyous Parenting Training, which includes 8 teleclasses each 75 minutes

* Individual guidance and feedback during the class

* Access to all downloadable call recordings

* PDF Discovery Journal that expands your progress with all five principles

Plus these Bonuses...

* Getting Started with Joyous Parenting Home Study Program

* 2 months FREE membership in my Joyous Family Coaching Circle

* Your own personally autographed copy of my book Joyous Child Joyous Parent: How to Have More Fun and Joy with Your Child

And I’ll also finance you for 3 payments of $233 if that’s more convenient for you.

If after attending Class One, you're not 100% satisfied with the program, you may cancel your registration within 24 hours of Class One and remove yourself from the entire training. Your full payment will be refunded to you within two weeks.

The next training begins Thursday, July 29

Class Dates: Thursdays July 29; August 5, 12, 19, 26; September 9, 16, 22

Time: 4:30 - 5:45 pm Pacific Daylight Time

Click here to sign up for one payment of $697

Click here to sign up for three payments of $233

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Consider this…

By participating fully in the Joyous Parenting Training, you make an investment in your child’s future, an investment in his emotional wholeness that will serve him the rest of his life, an investment that empowers him to be the most magnificent expression of himself both now and in the future.

Plus you invest in your future happiness as a family and lay a firm, grounded foundation for a joyous fun-filled future together. You also make an investment that benefits not only you and your child, and also future generations of children and parents in your family.

If you have any questions, please contact us by email.

I look forward to sharing this powerful experience with you!

Joyous Family Coaching
650.960.6895 • 16 Dorchester Drive, Mountain View, California 94043
help@joywithchildren.com