Nebraska’s Safe Haven Law—What Went Wrong?

A few weeks ago Nebraska limited its
Safe Haven Law to infants 30 days old or younger. Previously they set no age
limit and simply specified ‘child.’ Nothing happened for the first 2 months.
Then in the next three months, 34 children were abandoned in hospitals
throughout the state, none of whom were infants and 5 were from other states.

 Many people believe the problem is inadequate
mental health services for children. Nebraska parents complained of not being
able to get their child to take their medication and being turned away from
programs because their child wasn’t bad enough, hadn’t committed a crime or his
parents made too much money.

When a child fails to conform to
parental and educational standards and expectations, on the surface this
appears to be a problem of the child having a psychological – social disorder. In
these situations, parents assume the problem is with the child and rush to get
their child diagnosed and treated, often with medication.

What I’ve found is that not all
children are willing to conform to adult expectations and standards. Those
children who do conform to please adults compromise their own integrity and
emotional wholeness. They try to be good rather than being themselves. In fact,
a strong case can be made that those children who don’t fit are in better shape
emotionally and socially than those who conform.

So what’s the answer? Children are
hard-wired to lovingly connect with their parents and to succeed in life. It’s
what every child desires. If we want to encourage this positive self-expression
in children, then parents, educators and school systems need to evaluate their
own behavior to find how they can empower the emotional wholeness in children.

When we pressure and demand that
children conform, children have one of two choices—either they conform and do
what they’re told or they resist and are labeled. Neither is a good option.
Society, parents and educators need to re-think what children need from us and
how we can best support them. We’re asking the wrong questions and going in the
wrong direction.