Myth-Busting Bullying: Why Kids Do Such Mean Things

Do you ever stop to consider why kids do and say such mean things to each other? Most parents I talk with about this question shrug their shoulders and reply, ‘I don’t’ know” and dismiss them as ‘mean kids.’

If you’ve been following this series, you know the bully is not the ‘bad guy.’ I find when you simplify things to their most basic and most essential, you discover there are two underlying causes to the bullying problem. I share these with you in the last two videos (each less than 5 minutes) of my series.

Here is the next to last one:

Why Reducing Your Stress is Important to Your Family

First of all, thank you to all of you who shared with me what most upsets and causes you stress. I am using your feedback to help me design the class.

This week has been interesting as I’ve been preparing my upcoming class “De-Stress Your Life for Parents.” At first, I thought I didn’t have that much to say. But, as the week has progressed, I realize I have a LOT to share with you about this important topic.

You see, I am quite an expert on stress as I have wrestled with it myself in my own life. Time pressures and commitments…this is probably my biggest one. Needless worry about my health, my family at times.

Along the way, I’ve discovered and developed insights and strategies that have made a big difference. I’d love to share these with you so you can free yourself and enjoy your life more.

Be sure to note: The teleclass is this next Monday, May 6. Even if you can’t be on the call live, you can still sign up and get all the information in the recording and handout.

If you’re ready to take action to de-stress your life, I’d love to have you join us!

Click here to sign-up and get more info.

Happy trails!

To your Joyous Family!

Connie

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New Video: “Why Reducing Your Stress is Important to Your Family”

Your stress affects not only you. It affects everyone in your family.

I know you care deeply about your family or you wouldn’t be receiving my emails and you wouldn’t even be taking the time to read this one email. You have a lot of other things you could be doing, yet you choose to do this right now.

In today’s short video, I share with you 3 important ways your family feels the effects of your stress.

I invite you to watch it now and then commit to make May the month to learn, develop, and implement skills and strategies to reduce your stress – now.

What Did You Discover?

Over the weekend, I sent you an exercise to help you discover how much your child ‘wants’ to listen to you, the operative word here being ‘want.’ Have you had a chance to do it?

If you haven’t done it, I really encourage you to focus on the exercise questions I suggested for at least one evening with your child to see what you discover.

Stepping back to observe your interaction with your child will give you valuable new awareness and insights about yourself and your child. In my coaching and parenting classes, I frequently suggest parents observe a particular area of their family relationships to see what they discover. They often return with unexpected new insights.

Many parenting techniques rely on fear, rewards, and control to manage a child’s behavior and to get him to listen. Yet these approaches actually limit your child’s capability and full self-expression.

Plus, using bribes and reward dramatically harm your relationship with your child both now and in the long run. In the younger years, these strategies may appear to work and yield the results you want; however, as your child becomes a teenager, these old techniques put huge distances between you and your child.

Teens refuse to be controlled by their parents using these techniques.

Your child of any age wants a mutually honest, loving, trusting relationship with you. Without this kind of relationship with you, their desire and ability to listen diminishes.

A good way to begin to improve how much your child listens to you is with this easy, little-effort exercise. I encourage you to do it tonight!

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Here are the steps of the exercise:

1. Go about your day or evening observing the reality of your child’s desire to listen to you. Ask yourself these questions:

~ How much does my child want to listen to me?

~ What does she do that makes me feel this way?

~ What are the things I do that seem to cause her to pull back and not listen?

~ What are the things I do that seem to invite her to be closer and more connected to me and to want to listen and cooperate more?

2. Have fun observing yourself and your child.

3. Take a few moments and write your answers to the above questions.

4. Last question – What is my most important discovery or insight from observing how much my child wants to listen to me?

5. Share with me and other like-minded parents what you discover.
Share your discoveries and insights below.

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New Teleclass Next Monday! “Why Johnny Doesn’t Listen and What You Can Do About It”

An essential component of Joyous Parenting is having your child listen to you. Trying to raise and live with a child who doesn’t listen is exhausting and stressful. As a parent, you work much harder than you need to.

If you wish getting your child to listen were easier, I’d love to have you join us next Monday for this valuable class filled with practical tools you can use immediately.

If you’re busy next Monday, don’t use that as an excuse not to get this useful information that will make a profound positive difference in how your child listens to you and how much you enjoy one another.

Click here to sign-up and for more info.

Many people believe that parenting is one of the hardest jobs on the planet. It doesn’t have to be. With a few simple tools and insights and your willingness to grow as a person and a parent, parenting can be the truly joyous experience you envisioned when your child was born.

Here’s to making parenting easier and a lot more fun!

To your Joyous Family!
Connie

That Annoying ‘Taken for Granted’ Feeling

For those of you in the U.S., I hope your Thanksgiving was joyous and that you shared many warm, precious moments with your family. For me, it felt even more wonderful that usual. Here is what I’ve discovered.

For me, a joyous Thanksgiving means…

Feeling lovingly connected and relaxed with my family

Preparing, enjoying, and celebrating good food together

Sharing the food preparation so everyone contributes and does as much as s/he wants

Making pumpkin pie with ease the day before with two wonderful grandchildren ready with a tasting spoon each

Feeling refreshed and nourished at the end of the day

Cherishing my wonderful memories of a day well lived

What made your day special for you?

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That Annoying ‘Taken for Granted’ Feeling

When I talk deeply and honestly with parents about their parenting challenges, there is one that eventually surfaces. Buried under layers of their child’s misbehaviors is the feeling of being taken for granted by their child.

Feeling unappreciated and recognized for all they give and do for their child. Sometimes they call it “feeling disrespected.”

This truth is often shared quietly and with a feeling of shame and hesitancy to admit it, even to themselves.

What I find is parents often ignore this feeling because they’re focused on their child’s observable behaviors, the things they can see and hear, and not on the sub-text of their communication together.

Sometimes they don’t recognize it because they are busy doing, giving, and taking care of their child.

Does this sound familiar?

On the slip side, sometimes parents don’t recognize appreciation from their child when it is given, for example when your child does something thoughtful for you or gives you a big hug and says, “I love you!”

Often when parents feel unappreciated and taken for granted, their tempers flare more easily because they feel exhausted and drained. Yet, underneath this lies the debilitating feeling of being unappreciated for all they give to their child.

If you feel taken for granted, it is not a flaw in your child. The truth is your child longs to feel loving and appreciative toward you. She may not consciously recognize this desire nor have the awareness, but she feels it, nonetheless …even your seemingly uncaring teen or tween.

If you want to feel more appreciated by your child of any age, then it is you who must step up to make the change in yourself. It is you who has the insight, awareness, and resources to create a better relationship between you and your child.

I invite you to explore this for yourself. Here are some questions to get you started.

1. What are the ways or situations in which you feel appreciated by your child?

2. What are the things you do for your child that leave you feeling exhausted and taken for granted?

3. What are the things you’d most like your child to appreciate about you or what you’ve done or given? Write them down.

4. What does being taken for granted feel like to you?

5. What do you do or say when you feel taken for granted by your child?

What are the times you feel appreciated by your child? Please let me know in the Comments below.

Today is a great day to take action! If you’d like some help knowing how to have your child appreciate you more, I invite to you get my video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child.”

You can get this program for almost 50% off from now until this Friday, November 30.

Click here to get this for yourself and your child.

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Connie Recommends: “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child”

If you’d like to learn a new, easier approach that actually gets results without all of the reminding and frustration, I invite you get my new video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child.”

Every parent wants their child to be on their best behavior during the holidays and year round. This creates a lot of stress for you and your child. That makes this an excellent time of year to support your child to develop and live the art of heart-felt appreciation and kindness.

This information-packed video series teaches you specific steps you can implement immediately and will be invaluable for children of all ages. Plus, you’ll be able to watch the videos anytime, anywhere that is convenient for you, especially during this busy time of year.

You can get the video series for almost 50% off plus a F.EEE bonus by acting today.

Click here to get your program and to learn more..

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What’s Connie Up To?

Saturday, January 5

Imagine setting aside a few short hours to focus on your family and to reflect on what worked and didn’t work in 2012. Then be guided through a process to help you clarify your priorities for 2013 and to create specific ideas and plans to make the New Year even more harmonious, fun, and easy with your child. This F.REE event will be from 9 – 11:30 am Pacific.

Mark your calendars! I’ll send you more information as the time gets closer.

End of January Joyous Parenting Training

This is the class that will rock your socks when it comes to parenting and lay a foundation of deep understanding of how to be the parent your child wants you to be, the parent you will most enjoy being. Seven classes plus options for additional support. More info coming soon.

How to Connect with your Child After a Hard Day of Work

In Today’s Newsletter

~ Personal note from Connie
~ Do you have a copy of my book Joyous Child Joyous Parent?
Attend my F.REE Question and Answer Webinar
~ New video: How to Connect with your Child After a Hard Day at Work

~ Personal note from Connie

So nice to be connecting with you again! I hope you had a delightful weekend. I took a walk with my dear friend Rima in a lovely park and a relaxing horse ride with my wonderful husband Doug on Sunday. It was an uneventful ride, which is ALWAYS good.

Last night I got a call from my delightful daughter-in-law Nichola and my wonderful grandchildren Sebastian and Madison. They and my son had been gone all weekend so it was great to hear from all of them.

Hearing and feeling my grandchildren want to connect with me is magical beyond words! Madi doesn’t have a lot of words yet, and she is an enthusiastic screamer whose message comes through loud and clear.

~ Do You Have a Copy of my Book?

If you do, you are invited to participate in my F.REE Question and Answer Webinar in two weeks.

It doesn’t matter when or how you got your copy – a gift, as part of a program you took with me in the past, a purchase two years ago. As long as you have a copy of my book, you are invited.

Register by going here.

New Video: How to Connect with your Child After a Hard Day at Work

Is it difficult to know how to relate with your child after a tough day of work?

Do you sometimes bring work home with you, including your unhappy feelings?

In today’s video, I give you specific actions you can take and words you can say after a less-than-delightful day at work.

Making the transition to being with your child after a hectic, full day can be challenging, and it is easy to let the events of your day become a part of your evening with your child.

You can change this pattern with a few conscious steps before you walk through the door and when you greet your child.

This short (4 minutes) video tells you how.

Please share any experiences you have using these guidelines. They inspire other parents and give them new ideas.

Happy trails!

To your Joyous Family!
Connie