The Secret of Joyous Parenting™
Want to know what makes parenting joyous and more fun?
Read this story to find out more...
What happens when you nurture your child’s Emotional Wholeness? What difference does it really make? Here is a story to help you understand the importance of Emotional Wholeness for you and your child and how it works.
Jane and Tom are parents who are committed to being good parents and to doing whatever it takes to give their child the best possible life. They want to make sure he knows how to act appropriately and to be mannerly around others. So they monitor and manage his behavior, telling him what he can and cannot do and enforcing their brand of discipline.
Over time, this becomes a lot of work. It seems their son can think of so many things to do and say that are not acceptable. So they try to teach him the right behaviors and try to eliminate all the undesirable behavior. It becomes a stressful, full-time job.
The more they try to manage their son’s behavior, the more his behavior deteriorates. Repetitive behavior problems begin to emerge, and now Jane and Tom are working harder and feeling more frustrated and powerless. They begin to wonder if they are doing something wrong, but they don’t know what it is.
When they see other parents around them doing much the same things with their children, they continue with their regimen of trying to train and improve their son’s behavior. They perceive his behavior as “normal” for his age, and they persevere, hoping it will get better soon.
Unfortunately, the challenges have now become a way of life. Jane and Tom barely notice how tired and exhausted they are. As more behavior problems emerge, they fervently hope they are simply a phase, and these behaviors will pass as their son grows older.
They are beginning to worry, though, that he might continue these unacceptable behaviors into adulthood. They worry about his future and his ability to take good care of himself as an adult, to make wise choices and to get along well with others.
Then one day their good friends and neighbors Sue and Bill drop by with their two children, and they can hardly believe their eyes. Sue and Bill seem a lot happier and more relaxed since they last saw them. They seem to be enjoying their children much more, and Jane and Tom are impressed with the new maturity they see in their friends’ children. Their children actually seem happier and lots more cooperative when their parents ask them to do something.
Jane and Tom can’t resist asking about these seemingly sudden changes in their family. They are eager to find out more and fervently hope that whatever worked for their friends will work for them also.
In response to their questions, Sue and Bill eagerly and enthusiastically share about a new approach to parenting they discovered. It’s called Joyous Parenting™. They share that this approach is so much easier than what they were doing before and that they are experiencing excellent results. They have learned how to improve their own behavior as parents, and that their children have “miraculously” improved their’s in the most delightful ways.
Sue and Bill report they have never been happier or enjoyed their relationship with their children more. Their only regret is they waited so long before trying this approach to parenting.
When Jane and Tom beg them to tell them more, this is what Sue and Bill report. They begin by sharing with them pictures of two different apple trees, one with dark, unhealthy apples in which the parents are struggling and working hard to take care of the tree. The other tree has apples that are bright red, healthy and flourishing, and the parents are relaxed and enjoying their beautiful apple tree.
They explain that the apple tree represents a child, and the apples on the tree represent the child’s behaviors. Sue and Bill share that the first tree represents their old approach to parenting, in which they focused on managing and training their children’s behaviors.
In their old approach, Sue and Bill focused on making sure the apples, their child’s behaviors and words, were the correct ones. They spent a lot of time working hard, climbing up and down ladders, and trying to ensure their children’s behaviors conformed to their expectations.
Whenever they spotted an apple, a behavior, that looked imperfect, unsocial, inappropriate or unacceptable, they rushed to fix it, polishing the apple with explanations and instructions, spraying it with rewards and punishments. They hoped the apples, their children’s behavior, would improve, and the apples would look bright and shiny again.
As Sue and Bill focused more and more on the apples, their children’s behavior, the apples, became less and less healthy. It seemed that all the apples were dull and sickly, not what they should be. They realized what they were doing wasn’t working so they looked around to find a new way to help their apple tree, their children, grow healthy and strong.
Then they discovered Joyous Parenting™, an approach based on nurturing their apple tree’s natural ability to be healthy and produce delightful apples they could all enjoy. Now Sue and Bill focused on giving their apple tree the nutrients it needed for healthy inner well-being. They focused on giving their tree the water it needed to grow and were careful not to over-water with too much care that would stifle and limit the apple tree’s growth.
Then they relaxed and enjoyed watching their apple tree flourish under their conscious, loving care. They stayed attentive to the inner emotional well-being of their apple tree so they could more fully understand its needs.
Sue and Bill explained that Joyous Parenting™ was perfect for them because it is not a cookie cutter approach where one size fits all. Just as every apple tree has its own unique needs to flourish, so does every child.
Seemingly overnight, the apples, their children’s behavior, turned a brighter, healthier red and improved dramatically. Their repetitive conflicts and challenges diminished or disappeared entirely. The sparkle returned to their children’s eyes, and they all enjoyed each other so much more.
Just as the apple tree naturally flourishes when its roots are watered and it receives plenty of sunshine and good nutrients from the soil, your children also flourish when you give them the emotional nurturance their creative inner spirit requires.
After hearing Sue and Bill’s story, Jane and Tom understood where they were going wrong. They felt this approach would work for them and their son, and they immediately set out to learn everything they could about nurturing him and themselves with Joyous Parenting™.
Now Jane and Tom and Sue and Bill and their families all cherish the day they discovered the essential insights of Joyous Parenting™. They love knowing how to be the parent their child needs them to be and to bring out the best in their unique child.
And Sue and Bill, Jane and Tom and all their children lived happily ever after, from one generation to the next.
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