Are You a Slave to Love?

One of the things we love about babies is their joyous, loving, innocent presence. It draws us to them like magnets. We love basking in the warmth of their love and joy. We love the feelings we experience when we are close to them.

My four-month grandson Sebastian and I are a perfect example.Nothing can bring me more joy than receiving one of his magnificent smiles. It begins with the sparkle and warmth in his gorgeous blue eyes. Then it fills his entire face with joy and radiates throughout his body. He waves his arms and kicks his legs in delight. It is a full-body smile of love and joy.

Me? You might say I’ll do almost anything to share one of those magical moments with him. I make direct eye contact with him. I put on my biggest smile and radiate my love and joy to him. I make funny sounds. I talk excitedly. I shower him with kisses and play with his tummy. Anything for the delight of Sebastian’s exuberant smile. You might say I am a slave to love.

It can feel scary to love someone this much. We sometimes feel vulnerable and out-of-control. We fear losing this person who is so precious to us. At times, if may feel safer to keep your love tucked away inside where it’s not so exposed.

The idea of being a slave to love also seems to imply that you are being foolish, inappropriate, or used and manipulated. No one wants to be a slave to any person or any thing. Yet when it comes to Sebastian, I really don’t care. My interactions with him give me so much love and delight with this wonderful person.

As much as parents and educators delight in a young child’s innocence, they often worry about it. They don’t want her to be hurt by her openness and innocence. They want her to know life is not a bed of roses and can be tough. Without intending to, well-meaning adults attempt to socialize their child and set about limiting their young child’s loving, joyous nature

Parents also don’t want their child to be too full of her self, to be selfish and spoiled. I’ve found we don’t spoil a child by loving her and enjoying her too much. We spoil her when we set rules and boundaries that limit her. We also spoil a child when we fail to set clear limits that empower our child.

Most parents and educators struggle when it comes to setting limits. Too often we set limits that break our child’s spirit and limit her emotional wholeness. Effective limits empower your child to live to her highest potential. Effective limits improve your connection and harmony with your child.

What I’ve seen is that within every child of any age, including adults, there always lives that innocent, joyous, loving core of who s/he naturally is. We never really lose it. It just gets covered over and masked by well-meaning adults’ attempts to socialize us and keep us safe.

This means that no matter how old your child, she longs to express her joyous, loving self. If you want to share more of this with her, you have to be a slave to love, to the love within your heart. You have to explore and be committed to connecting with your child in this joyous, loving, fully open and present way.

You have to do things that may seem as ridiculous to you as some of the things I do with Sebastian. Of course, I can easily get away with my misbehavior under the guise of grandmotherhood. You can also easily get away with it under the guise of full-out love for your child or students.

This joyous, loving relationship is available for all of you to experience. You just have to be willing to be a slave to love!