Hunger for Connection

Excellent movies with heart, depth and
emotional sensitivity are rare. House of D, filmed in 2004, succeeded
brilliantly in all of these areas. The movie is a coming of age story about a
13-year-old young man who cries out for stable, emotional connection with
others and who is tossed about by life into having to find his answers and
strength within himself.

This story about the importance of relationships
during adolescence clearly shares with us the depth of caring and desire for
connection during this stage in life. Tommy, brilliantly and sensitively played
by Anton Yelchin, displays moral courage and integrity, making tough choices to
do what is right, even when the cost to him is high.

We don’t usually attribute these
qualities to teens. They often seem so cold, callous, and immoral by our
standards. What I’ve found is that every young person possesses within herself
the qualities displayed by Tommy in the House of D—depth of caring for people he
loves, desire for connection, moral courage and integrity.

Why aren’t these qualities obvious to
us adults?

• We make moral judgments about their
  behavior and fail to see the heart of every teen.

• We expect them to make choices based
  on our values, not on theirs.

• We criticize them and then wonder why
  they put up emotional walls to protect them from our judgments.

• We hide behind our walls of adulthood,
  parenthood, learned elder and miss the opportunity to authentically connect.

We can make other choices.  I see parents who take my Parenting with Joy Training find the clarity and courage to make new choices. Then they discover the heart and soul of their teen.

It is possible. What is your next step? Begin it today!