Improve Your Art of Observation

The most important skill for every educator and parent is to be aware of what’s happening with a child emotionally and how he is perceiving and experiencing the world. This is not an exact science nor will it ever be. Yet it is a vital skill to bring out the best in a child.

Because we are all human, you look through your own interior filter, judging and evaluating what you see based on this filter. Your filter includes all the things you’ve learned and decided throughout your life until now.

This means if you believe children need constant guidance from you, you will only see evidence of this and will miss all the child’s actions where she is independent and does quite well without you.

Many people observe through a filter of looking for what’s wrong instead of for what’s right. Because of this, they frequently correct and try to improve their child’s behavior.

Or perhaps you believe that a child who yells is angry, aggressive or mean. You will miss or even misjudge all the times a child is loud because he is passionate and caring deeply about something.

Here are some tips to help you observe outside your usual filters.

1. Mentally step back from your child or the situation. This is simply an internal adjustment that you can make whenever you find yourself too emotionally involved in an interaction or concern. Imagine stepping back to get a wider perspective, like putting a wide-angle lens on your camera.

2. Turn off your ‘right – wrong’ and ‘good – bad’ filters. You want to be a neutral observer, not the prosecutor, judge, and jury. Finding a neutral perspective allows you to see more clearly and to make effective choices.

3. Set aside time every day to observe, to stand back and see what you can see with the intention to discover something new. I suggest you choose a specific time or person or whatever feels best to you.

4. Imagine you are a detective or an explorer in an unknown land. Then you’ll have lots more fun with observation and your discoveries will literally magnify.

By making neutral observation a daily priority, you’ll be thrilled with what you discover about yourself and the children in your life. With this newfound information and awareness, relating with your child will become easier and lots more fun!

Education that Nurtures Our Children

Our traditional approach to educating our children with its testing, grades, limiting structure and teacher-directed learning troubles me greatly. I can use words to describe what’s possible. Yet the most effective way is to show you.

That’s why, when I came across this inspiring, beautifully-done video of a child-directed learning program in which children’s natural curiosity and love of learning are nurtured, I had to share it with you.

Voyager Community School in Farmingdale, NJ, created this short video to tell others about their school and to demonstrate the joy and effectiveness of their non-traditional approach to providing an emotionally-nurturing learning environment for children.

I urge you to take just a few minutes right now – it’s less than 4 minutes long – to open your mind and your heart to considering the kind of ‘education’ you want your child to experience as you watch this video.

Then pause for a few moments to consider your child’s educational experience and consider what options you may have to create something more supportive of your child.

Summer is almost here. This is a perfect time to reflect on and create the best option for your child and for you this September.

Here is the viideo! Enjoy!

Another Perspective on Video Games

A friend recently shared the following excerpt from “Everything Bad Is Good For You” by Steven Johnson. It is a spoof on articles decrying video games, based on a fantasy that video games came before reading.

“Reading books chronically under stimulates the senses. Unlike the longstanding tradition of game playing – which engages the child in a vivid, three dimensional world filled with moving images and musical soundscapes, navigated and controlled with complex muscular movements – books are simply a barren string of words on the page. Only a small portion of the brain devoted to processing written language is activated during reading, while games engage the full range of the sensory and motor cortices.

“Books are also tragically isolating. While games have for many years engaged the young in complex social relationships with their peers, building and exploring worlds together, books force the child to sequester him or herself in a quiet space, shut off from interaction with other children. These new “libraries” that have arisen in recent years to facilitate reading activities are a frightening sight: dozens of young children, normally so vivacious and socially interactive, sitting alone in cubicles, reading silently, oblivious to their peers.

“Many children enjoy reading books, of course, and no doubt some of the flights of fancy conveyed by reading have their escapist merits. But for a sizeable percentage of the population, books are downright discriminatory. The reading craze of recent years cruelly taunts the 10 million Americans who suffer from dyslexia – a condition that didn’t even exist as a condition until printed text came along to stigmatize its sufferers.

“But perhaps the most dangerous property of these books is the fact that they follow a fixed linear path. You can’t control their narratives in any fashion – you simply sit back and have the story dictated to you. For those of us raised on interactive narratives, this property may seem astonishing. Why would anyone want to embark on an adventure utterly choreographed by another person?

But today’s generation embarks on such adventures millions of times a day. This risks instilling a general passivity in our children, making them feel as though they’re powerless to change their circumstances. Reading is not an active, participatory process; it’s a submissive one. The book readers of the younger generation are learning “follow the plot” instead of learning to lead.”

I love this spoof on reading! Brilliant! Cultural criticism of video games is over-rated and is not as harmful as many “adults” fear, often because it’s new and appeals to a new generation who require new skills and ways of being.

Perhaps it is not ‘either-or’ but ‘both-and’ with value from both reading and video games. I always love the quote from “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran where he talks about children:

“You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow, which you
cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

May we as adults create the lives that are ours to live and allow children the freedom and respect to create the lives that are theirs to live, without with perpetual doom-saying about the next younger generation.

The operative word here is “trust.”

Photos from Amsterdam & Libya

I just posted some photos from my adventures in Amsterdam and Libya in Flikr. I’m new to using Flikr so I can’t get it to display as I want. The photos show the trip in reverse order. If you want to see it in order, click on the ‘Amsterdam & Libya 2010″ photo in the box on the right. When my tech support returns, we’ll get this straightened out.

Click here to see my photos!

Camping Adventure in the Libyan Sahara

To shorten our driving time, my British friends and I flew from
Tripoli to Sebha – a one hour flight – before heading out in 3 Land
Cruisers into the Sahara the next morning.

Driving for 5 hours on the highway was very uneventful, except for
frequent checkpoints where we gave the military personnel a formal
paper with a list of all the people in our party including the cook
and his driver.

Driving off-road into the desert sand was spectacular! The first two
days we drove through the Acacus Mountains, black rock structures
draped in pale orange Sahara sand. Our campsites were dramatically
beautiful with untouched dunes to climb and photograph.

While here we delighted in ancient rock art images dating from 10,000
years ago. I especially loved the giraffes and horses, although
everything was interesting. Fascinating to know these and other
animals used to call the Sahara home.

The last two days and nights in the desert we were surrounded the
gracefully undulating dunes, stretching as far as the eye can see,
with nothing else in sight. It was unendingly beautiful!

Highlights of the trip —

Our drivers, each with their own beautiful heart and playful
personality. Have you ever raced up sand dunes at 60 mph and then slid
down the steep side, 200 to 300 feet below? Two of the drivers were
like cubs, trying to out-do the other in speed and driving ability,
never passing the skilled lead driver. It often took my breath away
and was such phenomenal fun!

One of the other women and I went running down one of these steep
dunes, picked us so much momentum we were moving our legs as fast as
we could just to keep upright and then did a full-on face plant in the
next dune. Talk about momentum and propulsion. We never saw it
coming. Good thing about sand – it’s painless!

Another highlight was climbing a 400 foot dune of very soft sand in
the last light of day with our fantastic guide Dave so we could get
high enough to get cell coverage and send text messages to my family.
Then standing in the dark with the sand blowing at our feet and
pulling up a gps map of our location in the dunes. Totally cool! Then
retracing our steps going down, using our headlamps for light in the
now totally dark night!

Also, the last night we had a pretty strong wind so my tent was
blowing a lot during the night and then tried to take off with me in
it the next morning. Our guide posted a video of this on YouTube,
which I haven’t seen yet. I’ll post it when I return. The internet is
slow here so I can’t.

Not to be forgotten, our sweet, tender-hearted cook indulged us with
delightful, tasty meals of couscous, veggies, and camel meat for the
carnivores.

I will always treasure this fun adventure with my British friends!!