Fulfillment – 10: Easy – 1

Doug and I just returned from a spectacular camping / riding trip with our horses. The redwoods were breath-taking and the riding so much fun. I'll have more info about this in my next newsletter, but first I want to share another interesting insight with you from my parent survey.

The second survey question read, "On a scale of 1 to 10 (with one being low and 10 being high), how easy and fulfilling is your over-all experience of being a parent?"

Several parents responded by giving two separate numbers: one for fulfilling and one for easy. This is what they said:

"find parenthood itself really fulfilling …I would never say it was easy."

"easy – 1, fulfilling – 10!"

"being a parent is easily the hardest and most fulfilling experience I've ever had"

"I would say it's a 9 for fulfilling and a 3 for easy. I have 2 very active, curious, intelligent children who are often times difficult to parent because of these characteristics which I predict will make them incredible adults but require a lot of my energy and attention; they are definitely NOT easy to parent, even on a good day. Nevertheless, I find parenting them really fulfilling most days."

Does this sound familiar? I completely understand how fulfilling and easy can be two different experiences of being a parent.

Sometimes parents believe parenting is a hard job just by definition. In other words, it's not parenting if it's not difficult.

One mom shared, "I live for my family and sacrifice so much for them.  I don't believe you can be truly happy until you have sacrifice in your life.  It is not easy to be a parent.  Just like a marriage it takes work. You have to put effort into it."

Another mom candidly revealed, "I think for the most part, I wait until I'm really burned out or exhausted to start taking care of myself instead of others, and that doesn't seem like a sustainable approach to our family."

In my experience as a mom, teacher, and family coach, I have found parenting children of all ages can be MUCH EASIER and dramatically more fulfilling than most people experience or believe is possible.

They are two sympatico qualities. When parenting becomes easier, it also becomes more fulfilling. As it becomes for fulfilling, it also becomes easier.

In my F.R.E.E.Book Launch Party call this coming MONDAY, AUGUST 31, I'll discuss why it is essential to have parenting be easy and fun. Believe it or not, being a good parent REQUIRES that it be easy and fulfilling to you.

Note: I'm not saying parenting never has challenging moments. It does. However, it is important that parenting be easy and fun almost all the time with rare moments when it becomes difficult and then quickly passes.

You'll learn all of this and more when I share about — "Beyond Parenting Techniques: The 5 Most Important Understandings that Will Immediately Bring More Joy to Your Child's Eyes and Transform Your Relationship with Your Child"

Register now for this content-rich call in which I'll reveal these essential understandings from my new book "Joyous Child Joyous Parent".

Plus I'll announce an unheard of, limited-time special bonus for early-bird purchasers of my book.

Go here now to register.

I so look forward to sharing this powerful, transformational information with you!

Lay a Solid Foundation Now for the Teen Years

Before Doug and I scoot out the door for a few days of camping in the redwoods with our horses Destiny and Echo, I want to give you another update on the responses to my survey..

First of all, I so appreciate everyone’s responses to my survey questions. They have been so helpful to me and will definitely guide me as I develop new coaching programs and products for you in the future. I’ll be responding to some of you personally via email. I LOVED hearing from you!

One of the themes I notice in your responses is feelings of fulfillment and ease as a parent tend to decrease as children enter the teen years. Even when your child is young, some of you are already worrying and wondering about the adolescent years.

One mom wrote, “I have a fear of the rebellious teenage years to come even though my 3 daughters are only 7, 5, and 2 at the moment. I hope I have the strength and patience to discipline consistently so they “stay the course…”

I think many parents of young children can relate to her fears and concerns. This is a concern parents frequently share with me when they see a limiting behavior in their young child and worry what her future will be if this behavior continues into adolescence and adulthood. These are very real and significant concerns.

Another mom who has already walked this road shared her experience, “Very mixed…..I have 2 daughters (22 and 28 yrs).  They are very different in their relationships with me.  The older one is extremely distant while the younger one is hot/cold.  When they were young (to middle school age) they were both extremely loving, affectionate, close and a pure joy. 

My biggest challenge is wondering where things went wrong with my older daughter that has kept her at such a distance for the past 10 yrs (since she went to college) and wondering if there is anything I can do but wait and hope she comes back.”

This is one of the most profound pains a mother or father can experience. Yet it is not a unique story. So many parents of teens with whom I speak share the confusion and angst of wondering what happened to the loving, affectionate younger child they once knew. Now they’re facing a child who has grown distant and who’s response is usually, “no.”

If you’d like to prevent or stop making unconscious mistakes that push your child away when they enter adolescence and adulthood, this is one of the topics I’ll be discussing on my special F.R.E.E. call next MONDAY, AUGUST 31.

I’d love to have you join me on this call to learn: “Beyond Techniques: The 5 Most Important Understandings that Will Immediately Bring More Joy to Your Child’s Eyes and Transform Your Relationship with Your Child”

These 5 valuable principles taken from my new book Joyous Child Joyous Parent will help you create a strong, more loving connection with your child whether you have a young, adorable child or a surly, defiant young adult.

Reserve your spot in this F-R-E-E call here:
http://joywithchildren.com/party.html

You're welcome to invite your friends and family to the call. The more people on the call the better it will be! Use the link above to share with your friends and colleagues:

I look forward to "seeing" you on the call!

Family Camping in Sieras ’09

Here are some fun family photos from our camping trip last weekend. Enjoy!!

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Family Time in Nature is The Best

Orion, Nichola, Sebastian, Doug and I
went camping last weekend in the Sierras. We had such a joyous, magical, fun
time together loving each other and the beauty and peacefulness of Mother
Earth. Sebastian went non-stop until those moments when exhaustion overtook
him. Here is a photo of BasSierra_09 and me playing Horsie.

Nichola shared an interesting experience
with me. The week before going camping, several people were shocked they were
taking a toddler camping in the mountains. They cautioned her about all the
dangers in nature that could hurt a child so young.

Yet the two times we’ve camped as a
family this year, both times Orion has observed, “Isn’t it amazing that we can
let Sebastian run around and worry about him less when we’re camping than when
we’re at home? Even when the last time was camping in the desert!”

Nature gives us magical moments to awaken
to ourselves and what matters most. A few weeks ago my assistant Lisa and her
family enjoyed an active, fun camping vacation in Yosemite. She shared she was
surprised and delighted how quickly she connected with nature and relaxed
shortly after arriving. Then they enjoyed lots of hiking and bike riding as a
family. Bliss!

Enjoying the beauty of Mother Earth is
one of those precious resources available to us all every moment. Yet because
she seems to be always there, it is easy to postpone those precious moments …

Effective parenting advice is available 24/7!

Ever find yourself overwhelmed in the moment and not
knowing what to do to respond to your child? If you’re like most parents, when
you’re upset, you aren’t thinking clearly. This is when you say and do things you
may regret later.

These are the situations when you need some good
solid parenting advice and a reminder of the kind of parent you want to be. My
new book Joyous Child Joyous Parent
is filled with a treasure trove of inspiring, practical guidelines to
help you in those times of crisis and on a day-to-day basis.

This Thursday, August 20, I’ll announce my Virtual
Book Launch Party, in which I’ll share with you an exciting opportunity to
understand and use the Joyous Parenting™ approach more fully when you
communicate with your child. Be sure to watch for your invitation!

Want to know how to improve your child’s behavior
now?

As a parent, you probably spend more time focusing on
your child’s behavior than on your own. Today’s parenting tip reminds you of
your true source of power and how to make a positive influence in your child’s
life. Read below to discover what you can do now!



Be Aware of Your Own Behavior More Than Your Child’s

As a parent, you know your behavior dramatically impacts
your child’s behavior and life. Yet it seems so much easier to focus on your
child’s behavior than it does to focus on your own. Yet it is your behavior,
mind-set and emotional well-being

that determine the parent you are and the kind of influence you have in your
child’s life.

When you choose to focus on your own behavior first,
you have greater clarity and insight to understand yourself and your child.
Plus it is the one area in which you have the power to make a significant
improvement in your child’s behavior and in your interactions with your child.

Put your attention on your own behavior first and discover
the powerful positive difference you can make in your child’s life!