Expect Parenting to Be Easy

Many parents believe that parenting is a hard job. In fact, many believe it is the hardest job in the world.

What I’ve found is that parenting is a joyous, primarily easy experience filled with amazing experiences and interactions and love with your child. When parents experience parenting as hard, frustrating or stressful, they don’t understand what their child needs emotionally.

Parenting is a natural, easy, joyous process. When you or your child feel unhappy or unfulfilled in your relationship, this is a red flag that something is not working emotionally in your relationship.

Then it is a simple matter of discovering what’s not working, changing your own behavior, and then life becomes easier and more fun for you and your child.

Don't settle for hard or frustrating when parenting can feel so free and joyous and delightful. 

A Touching Ritual

I drive through the crowds of people and parked cars. People drive purposefully, looking for a space to park. Masses of people walking in quiet family clusters toward the viewing spots for fireworks. Children occasionally skipping or talking excitedly.

Everywhere a palpable feeling of connection within the families. A silent, peaceful, almost sacred connection between all people gathered and gathering.

An unspoken respect, trust and regard permeate the air. Parents bringing their children to this once a year ritual, when Americans assemble across the land.

To honor their country. To celebrate their family and the abundance of life. To share with their children the magic of beautiful colors exploding overhead. 

To be the parent they know their child needs them to be.

How to Create Quality Time with Your Child

We live in busy times. Moms and Dads rush around, hoping to complete the tasks on their To Do Lists and trying to eek out a little time for themselves each week while taking care of their child. Their daily pace can feel hectic and overwhelming.

Does this sound familiar?

You matter a lot to your child. Your child cares about you and needs to feel a solid emotional connection with you. Yes, your child needs to be fed, clothed, bathed, and taken to their own activities, but not at the expense of QT with you.

Sometimes you may mistake defiance, sullenness or lack of cooperation as indicators you don’t matter to your child. Nothing can be further from the truth.

In fact, one of the most valuable things you can do to improve your child’s defiance, sullenness or lack of cooperation is to spend Quality Time with her. Everyone knows that QT is essential for your child’s emotional well-being and development, yet most parents struggle just to complete the daily tasks.

But how can you successfully create this time when your life is so busy, and there are so many have-to’s in the day? I’ve discovered there are powerful secrets you can use to guarantee you and your child share this all-important QT together.

Allow me to share with you some actions you can take today to create more Quality Time with your child.

Tip #1 Find ways to be more efficient and effective with your work responsibilities.

Yes, you have lots of responsibilities and things to do. Yet everyone can benefit from being more focused and organized in managing their time and their responsibilities. Choose one thing you will do differently at work to reduce your time commitments. Then use this extra time to have fun with your child.

Tip #2 Consciously leave work at work, even when you work from home.

Here’s a little visualization you can use to help you. Imagine a book that represents your work and career life. At the end of the day, imagine firmly and completely closing this book and leaving it on your desk. If you feel uneasy about this, remind yourself it will be there waiting for you the next day, and consciously choose to leave your work at work.

Then walk out the door and close it behind you. Then on your drive home or your transition between work and family, think about your family. Remind yourself of your love and appreciation for each of them. Then walk in the door and greet them with a warm hug filled with love.

Tip #3 Make your Quality Time together authentic connection time.

Spending time with your child because you ‘should’ is not QT. Your emotional connection needs to be authentic, and not going through the motions. Your child can tell the difference. Focus on making your time together a time of genuine, positive emotional connection.

Tip #4 Make your Quality Time fun for both of you.

QT is not QT when only one of you is enjoying it. Find activities you both enjoy and can take an interest in. Let your curiosity inspire and guide you. Then schedule it in your calendar and make it happen.

Make nourishing your emotional connection with your child your highest priority, and you’ll have moment after moment of Quality Time with your child.

Authentic QT with your child means a quality life for you. Your child has much to offer you, just as you have much to offer your child. Cherish every precious moment!

A Sweet Love Unspoken

I call my 20-month-old grandson Sebastian
from Las Vegas. I haven’t seen him for 4 days, and I long for a grandma
connection. Shortly after Grandpa Doug, who is taking care of Sebastian,
answeres the phone, I hear Sebastian, clearly expressing his desire to talk
with his grandma.

What follows is magical. Sebastian is
learning to talk so he has a small vocabulary for having a conversation. However,
as soon as he is on the phone, I feel wrapped in love, an eager,
reaching-out-to-connect desire that warms my heart. I tell him, “Hi, Sebastian!
I love you so much!”

After a short silence on his end, I hear,
“Shoe!” one of his favorite words. I ask him if he has his shoes. I tell him I am
wearing mine.

Then he clearly says, “Key!” his most
loved word in the English language. I hear from Grandpa that they are trying to
find his keys. They had disappeared yet again.

Sebastian laughs, reaching out to
connect.

“Shoe!”

Our conversation is short on words and
abundant in joy and love for one another. My heart fills to over-flowing. Tears
fill my eyes. Sweetness! I walk back into the meeting room, knowing in a
profound, unspoken way that I am loved more than words can possibly express. Life is
beautiful!

 

 

 

Meet Your Child’s Unique Needs

Everyone knows that every child is unique and that we need to relate to each child based on their uniqueness.

The two important questions are:

  1. How do you do that?
  2. How far are you as a parent willing to go?

I recently read an online newspaper article that brought the message home loud and clear to me. Perhaps you’ve already seen it. It’s a story about a piglet who was afraid of the mud and how her owners responded to her unique needs as a piglet.

I can’t resist sharing it here for several reasons:

  1. I grew up on a farm in Iowa where my father raised this adorable Hampshire pigs.
  2. It is just too cute not to pass on.
  3. It exemplifies my point about responding to your child’s unique needs perfectly.

Here is the article.

And here is a photo.

Pig

Be creative and have fun nurturing your child's unique personality!