Parenting by Convention

In the most recent edition of Ode
Magazine
, there is an article about new trends in medicine and healing. Natural
healer Victoria Maizes says, “Much of what we do in conventional medicine is
just that—convention.”

This is also true in the parenting and
educating of children. Much of what we do is simply convention and is not examined
deeply for its true results in children’s lives
. Most parents and educators
were raised and taught in ways that is now assumed to be “the way it is done,”
without any real questioning or evaluation of the process. Therefore, they tend
to utilize similar principles, strategies and approaches with the children in
their care.

It’s imperative that we as parents,
educators and a society re-examine the ways in which we relate with children. Many
adults unconsciously do things that undermine the very thing they are trying to
accomplish
, which is to help children be successful, happy, flourishing people
both now and in the future. We need to step away from convention and explore
what truly empowers children and brings out their natural gifts and talents.

As a society and a planet, we all need
everyone’s human best as we live during these changing and challenging times.

 

New Help for Children with Autism, ADHD, Asthma, & Allergies

It seems I’ve been learning lots of
new information lately about childhood vaccinations and their potential effects
on a child’s health. Many children receive the full regime of 36 vaccines before
the age of six with seemingly no harm, yet many children experience tragic consequences. It's increasingly important for parents to be conscious
and cautious in the decisions they make regarding their child's well-being.

I’ve just read Healing the New
Childhood Epidemics—Autism, ADHA, Asthma, and Allergies: The Groundbreaking
Program for the 4-A Disorders
by Kenneth Bock, M.D. He is the co-founder and
co-director of the Rhinebeck Health Center and The Center for Progressive
Medicine
at Albany Medical College in New York. This book follows children with severe
health challenges through Dr. Bock’s healing program and explains in depth the healing program he developed. His web site is full of information.

Dr. Bock cites the dramatic increase
during the last 20 years of the 4-A disorders. Autism has increased, according
to most estimates, by 1500% to 6000%, ADHA by at least 400%, asthma by 300%,
and allergies by 400%. If you add all of these disorders together, it comes to
20 million children or almost one-third of all American children. These
dramatic figures call for us to pay attention and to ask new questions.

Bock doesn’t just cite childhood
vaccines as potential causes. He believes four major changes have occurred in
the last 20 years
that contribute to this debilitating illnesses in children.
These include the following: 1). Toxins proliferated; 2) Nutrition
deteriorated; 3). Vaccinations increased; 4) Ability to detoxify dwindled.

All of these combined result in
compromised immune, gastrointestinal, and nervous systems in children’s bodies.
We also need to be aware that these same environmental changes affect all of
us, whether we notice them or not.

My friend Jack Travis, M.D. of the Alliance for the Transformation of Children's Lives (aTLC) recently gave me
information about an online video that shares a heart-touching story of Max, whose
parents bring him to Dr. Bock’s office for help.

Being informed is essential for all
parents in order to make wise decisions for children. It’s also imperative to
ask new questions instead of blindly following the status quo. Parents must
trust and listen to themselves when they feel cautious about their child’s
well-being. In many stories I’ve read, parents whose child developed autism report
feeling hesitant about giving a vaccination to their child when he was ill, but
were reassured by their doctor not to worry.

All professionals and experts are
people,
just like everyone else. Sometimes they get it wrong and make a mistake. Your best guidance comes from your child and your own
inner knowing.
Always take them into consideration.

 

What’s Wrong with This Picture?

It’s a warm, sunny day in the San
Francisco Bay Area as I walk in a nearby neighborhood park. Two young boys, about
18 months and 2 years old, lean against a light pole as they quietly look around
at the peaceful, grassy landscape.

As I come near, the older boy slightly
loses his balance and leans into the smaller child
; and they tumble gently to
the grass, one on top of the other. I hear one of the nearby moms say a
troubled, “Oh!”

I hesitate a moment to see how the
boys will respond. They indicate no signs of distress or concern, seeming more
curious and fascinated by their experience. They pull themselves back up and
insert themselves against the pole once more, resuming looking around and hanging out.

I continue walking past the boys and
encouragingly tell them, “Good job! You've done a great job!” They  responded to
and handled this potentially unsettling incident easily.

As I walk a couple of steps further, I hear one of the moms say, “You boys, be careful.”

She couldn’t help herself. It seems
like the motherly thing to say.

Excellent Gift Idea for Children

I just
bought three beautiful books for holiday gifts from the Global Fund for Children.
The Global Fund for Children’s mission
is to advance the dignity of children and youth around the world. GFC pursues its mission by making small
grants to innovative community-based organizations working with some of the
world’s most vulnerable children and youth.

One of the outstanding contributions
GFC makes is by a dynamic media program that, through books, documentary
photography, and film, highlights the issues affecting children and celebrates
the global society in which we all live. Their books are BEAUTIFUL and
inspiring
!

The books are for children ages
infant to early teens. I bought two copies of Global Babies, a boardbook for
infants and toddlers with close-up photos of babies from several areas of the
world. This book was recognized by Oprah as outstanding.

The other book I bought is Come Out
and Play
, which has full-color photos of children playing around the world. Photos
include Playing a string game in Egypt, Riding a tricycle in the Dominican
Republic, Flying a kite in China. These books make excellent conversation
starters
with children about different cultures and the lives of people around
the world. Make sure you have a globe handy!

Plus the books are reasonably priced
for these interesting economic times.

With a
small investment of money, you have a beautiful book for a child, you support a
non-profit that makes an important contribution to children who need it most,
and you expand your child’s global awareness. What a delightful investment and
way to share the joy of the season!

Nebraska’s Safe Haven Law—What Went Wrong?

A few weeks ago Nebraska limited its
Safe Haven Law to infants 30 days old or younger. Previously they set no age
limit and simply specified ‘child.’ Nothing happened for the first 2 months.
Then in the next three months, 34 children were abandoned in hospitals
throughout the state, none of whom were infants and 5 were from other states.

 Many people believe the problem is inadequate
mental health services for children
. Nebraska parents complained of not being
able to get their child to take their medication and being turned away from
programs because their child wasn’t bad enough, hadn’t committed a crime or his
parents made too much money.

When a child fails to conform to
parental and educational standards and expectations, on the surface this
appears to be a problem of the child having a psychological – social disorder. In
these situations, parents assume the problem is with the child and rush to get
their child diagnosed and treated, often with medication.

What I’ve found is that not all
children are willing to conform to adult expectations
and standards. Those
children who do conform to please adults compromise their own integrity and
emotional wholeness. They try to be good rather than being themselves. In fact,
a strong case can be made that those children who don’t fit are in better shape
emotionally and socially than those who conform.

So what’s the answer? Children are
hard-wired to lovingly connect with their parents and to succeed in life.
It’s
what every child desires. If we want to encourage this positive self-expression
in children, then parents, educators and school systems need to evaluate their
own behavior to find how they can empower the emotional wholeness in children.

When we pressure and demand that
children conform, children have one of two choices
—either they conform and do
what they’re told or they resist and are labeled. Neither is a good option.
Society, parents and educators need to re-think what children need from us and
how we can best support them. We’re asking the wrong questions and going in the
wrong direction.