Are You Listening to the Heart and Soul of Your Child?

Everyone
struggles with how to respond to behavior they experience as difficult
in other people. Even though we don’t usually think of it, all of our
difficulties with behavior are about emotions. They are          about all of the emotions involved–ours and the other person’s.

      

In our
society, we don’t pay much attention to our emotions, and as a result,
we can feel pretty lost when situations become emotional. Generally, we
are taught to suppress our emotions, especially the "negative" ones,
such as anger, sadness, irritation and grief.

      

Many people          believe their emotions get them into trouble. This is often true because          they don’t know how to lovingly and wisely handle their own uncomfortable          emotions or someone else’s.

      

We like
to believe we are rational beings and that our choices and actions are
based purely on reason and common sense. Research shows us something
else. We make choices based on our emotions and then use our intellect          to find rational reasons to explain why we made the choice we did.

      

Our
emotions are at the heart and soul of who we are and what we say and
do. They are a powerful force within us that we try to control, rather
than listening to them and valuing their importance in our life.

      

We usually          perceive all behavioral difficulties as strictly behavior and fail to          see the emotional connection beneath the surface. You          may believe you need to control and manage your child’s behavior when          she acts inappropriately.

      

But what
I’ve seen is when you try to manage your child’s behavior without
considering what’s happening with her emotionally, it seldom works in
the long run. It’s your child’s emotions that drive her behavior and choices.
When you learn to "read" and understand what is happening with your
child emotionally, then you have the insight to make informed, wise,
compassionate choices that support your child’s emotional and spiritual
well-being.

      

Your child’s          emotional stress can also be expressed physically
in the lack of well-being in his body. The physical and emotional have
a strong connection within all of us. You may even seek a doctor’s
advice for emotional problems that seem to be physical in nature.
Emotional distress can be expressed in many ways in children, including
eating problems, nervous habits, illness, and injury due to accidents.

      

The
essential key to bring out the best in your child physically and
behaviorally is to nurture his emotional and spiritual wholeness. Then
he freely expresses his natural desire and ability to relate
harmoniously with you. His soul essence shines brightly and he easily
shares his magnificent gifts with life.
               
               
Love          Joyously!

      

When you          see your child struggling or "misbehaving", take a step          back
and consider what is happening with her emotionally. Do not see the
problem as only a behavioral or physical concern. Ask yourself, "What
might my child be experiencing emotionally right now?

      

You have          within you a natural ability to nurture your child’s emotional and spiritual          wholeness. Decide to place your emphasis and focus here with
your child and yourself. When you look beneath the surface to the heart
and soul of your child, problems disappear and you and your child
flourish in wonderful ways you didn’t know were possible!

Watch this Youth-Made Movie!

This link to a YouTube video recently arrived, and I thought you might enjoy it. Children ages 8 – 11 at Wildwood Educational Enrichment Centre in Fort Langley, British Columbia wrote, produced and performed
this Robin Hood movie
last June.

It’s about 9 minutes in length, and it is inspiring to see the amazing natural talent and creativity of children when they are given the opportunity to be who they areWatch the video!

Wildwood is a small, family-style, non-coercive learning community
    for your children that offers freedom, respect and inspiring enrichment opportunities for the children in their program.

Sebastian has Arrived!!

Our grandson Sebastian was born this morning at 4:20 AM!! Doug and I are such happy grandparents. I am profoundly touched by his innocence, his beauty, and his freshness in the world. Vital statistics–Weight: 8 lbs 5 oz; Height: 20.5 inches.

Here are a few pictures of "His Preciousness" and our son Orion. The photos I took of Nichola didn’t come out so well. I’ll have some of her posted soon.

P9210070
P9210074
P9220082

P9210075_2

P9220084
P9220087

Magnificence Beneath the Surface

We have an older kittie at the ranch where we board our horses whom I’ve named Sandy. We know nothing about her history, but she has been at the ranch since we arrived 5 years ago. She’s very friendly and has a timeless, ageless quality about her.

P8250084
She’s a basic looking cat with all the cat parts without the cuteness or beauty one usually sees in kitties.
In fact, you might even say she is plain with a coat of blended back and gray without a faint striped pattern. She has skinny bowed legs that look as if she’s been riding a horse for too long.

Sandy’s beauty is easy to overlook because there is really nothing physical that is outstanding about her. Yet when you look beneath the surface, her beauty radiates brightly.

Sandy has a heart of gold. While other cats are sometimes aloof, timid or not in the mood, she is always friendly and eager to being petted. She settles into your arms and trusts you to take her almost anywhere. She is truly a good-hearted, loving soul-always.

Sandy is also a phenomenal communicator. She meows a lot to say “hello” when I arrive at the ranch and makes it clear when she needs to be fed. Granted, this sounds like pretty “normal” cat behavior.

However, I’ve had interactions with Sandy that amaze and fascinate me with her ability to communicate her needs and desires. The most frequent communication has to do wanting clear, fresh water in the water bowl near our tack room.

One thing you need to understand is the cats, many of whom are wild and feral, share the water bowl with the equally wild and feral chickens at the ranch. Chickens are not as dainty and fastidious about having clean water. In fact, they often scratch dirt into the water in their search for food.

Sandy is the spokescat for the group, waiting by the water bowl and making sure I see the dirty water as I pass by cleaning Destiny’s stall. After she has successfully gotten me to put fresh water in the bowl, she immediately begins drinking.

Another more fascinating story occurred a few weeks ago. We feed Sandy and a couple of other cats in our tack room, which is about 15 feet from Destiny’s stall. One morning after feeding the kitties, I went into Destiny’s stall to clean. After a few minutes, I hear a meow that was intended for me.

I look up, and there is Sandy, standing in the doorway and looking at me with sincere interest and attention. She meows a few more times as I continue to clean the stall, pausing only to say, “Hello.”

After a while, it dawns on me this is unusual behavior for her. I realize she is trying to tell me something and begin to walk toward her. As I do, she walks toward the tack room with me in tow.

Moments before we arrive, I think, “The chickens are in the tack room eating the cat food.” Sandy stops as we reach the open tack room door, and looks back at me pointedly as if to say, “Look at this. Would you please handle this situation?”

P8250081
From now on, I pay a lot more attention to what Sandy tells me plus I appreciate her beautiful, innocent spirit that greets me every morning.
  I realize she is much smarter and more capable than I previously believed.

Sandy is like your child, communicating with you whether you pay attention or not. She is also like your child when her beautiful, innocent, loving spirit greets you every morning. Treasure and enjoy your amazing child you have been given.

Brick by Brick, Step by Step

In the last couple of weeks, my husband Doug and I laid 1300 bricks in our front yard as part of our landscaping project. 1300 bricks weigh about 9000 pounds and we handled each brick three or more times. That’s a lot of weight lifting!

P8280089
We were amazed how easily and effortlessly we handled so much weight in a day.
One day we laid 700 bricks, each weighing 6 pounds and handled them four times for a total of 16,800 pounds. This means we each lifted 8,400 pounds that day, which is a little over 4 tons each. Unfathomable!

It would have been impossible for us to lift 4 tons at one time, but brick by brick it was possible. When I shared this story with a friend, she said, “Now you know how the Great Wall was built.” Great things are created step by step.

The same is true of any project in life, including making an improvement in a relationship with someone you love. When things aren’t going the way we want with our child or a loved one, we always want it resolved immediately.

We feel we can’t put up with it another minute, and we push things and try to make changes happen quickly. We want our child or ourselves to change our behavior patterns immediately, and we become frustrated and irritated when we see the old behavior patterns appear after we thought we had them licked.

Small, seemingly insignificant steps forward create massive achievements, and it’s really the only way this happens. Look for these small steps and celebrate your child’s or your own forward movement. Whenever you criticize for imperfection, you slow down the process forward, if not halting it completely.

When you find yourself feeling impatient with someone or something in your life not changing quickly enough, think of the Great Wall or of Doug and I lifting over 4 tons in eight hours. Remind yourself how significant change occurs. It’s brick by brick and step by step.