Happy Planet Index

The Happy Planet Index is an innovative new index that measures the environmental efficiency with which country by country, people
      live long and happy lives.

   

By addressing the relative success or failure of 178 countries in supporting
      good lives for their citizens, while respecting the environmental resource
      limits upon which our lives depend, the HPI can help us move toward a world where we can all live
      good lives without costing the earth.

The nations that top the Index aren’t the happiest places in the
world, but the nations that score well show that achieving, long, happy
lives without over-stretching the planet’s resources is possible. The
HPI shows that around the world, high levels of resource consumption do
not reliably produce high levels of well-being (life-satisfaction), and
that it is possible to produce high levels of well-being without
excessive consumption of the Earth’s resources.

It also reveals that
there are different routes to achieving comparable levels of
well-being. The model followed by the West can provide widespread
longevity and variable life satisfaction, but it does so only at a vast
and ultimately counter-productive cost in terms of resource
consumption.
   

   

No single country listed in the Happy Planet Index has everything right. Some countries are more
      efficient than others at delivering long, happy lives for their people. Every country has its problems and no country performs as well as it could.

Vanuatu, an archipeligo in the Western Pacific made up of 65 island and 250,000people, is the happiest nation on the planet  These results are based on consumption levels, life expectancy and happiness, rather than the national economic wealth measurements such as the Gross Domestic Product  (GDP).

Other top-scoring countries in order are Columbia, Costa Rica, Dominica, Panama, Cuba, Honduras, and Guatemala. Countries at the bottom are Zimbabwe, Swaziland, Burundi, Congo, Ukraine, Estonia, and Russia. The United States is 150 out of 178.

As you can see, this is not your usual list of national success, but the HPI Index paints a compelling picture ad challenges us to look at our deepest values as humans. They have a report that gives you all the details here. The ranking list is at the very end after extensive page of background big picture information.

Statisticabout Children’s Welfare in U.S.

Here are the statistics I referred to in my January newsletter that reflect the emotional-social welfare of children in the United States. These are from the web site of the Children’s Defense Fund, founded by Marian Wright Edelman. As you review them, look for the interaction of all these statistics together and what they say about the emotional wholeness of children and the factors that affect it.

Moments in America for Children
May 2007
·    Every second a public school student is suspended.*
·    Every 11 seconds a high school student drops out.*
·    Every 15 seconds a public school student is corporally punished.*
·    Every 20 seconds a child is arrested.
·    Every 22 seconds a baby is born to an unmarried mother.
·    Every 35 seconds a baby is born to a mother who is not a high school graduate.
·    Every 36 seconds a baby is born into poverty.
·    Every 36 seconds a child is confirmed as abused or neglected.
·    Every 47 seconds a baby is born without health insurance.
·    Every minute a baby is born to a teen mother.
·    Every 2 minutes a baby is born at low birthweight.
·    Every 4 minutes a child is arrested for drug abuse.
·    Every 8 minutes a child is arrested for violent crimes.
·    Every 19 minutes a baby dies before his first birthday.
·    Every 3 hours a child or teen is killed by a firearm.
·    Every 4 hours a child or teen commits suicide.
·    Every 6 hours a child is killed by abuse or neglect.
·    Every 18 hours a mother dies in childbirth.

Each Day in America
May 2007
·    1 mother dies in childbirth.
·    4 children are killed by abuse or neglect.
·    5 children or teens commit suicide.
·    8 children or teens are killed by firearms.
·    33 children or teens die from accidents.
·    77 babies die before their first birthdays.
·    192 children are arrested for violent crimes.
·    383 children are arrested for drug abuse.
·    906 babies are born at low birthweight.
·    1,153 babies are born to teen mothers.
·    1,672 public school students are corporally punished.*
·    1,839 babies are born without health insurance.
·    2,261 high school students drop out.*
·    2,383 children are confirmed as abused or neglected.
·    2,411 babies are born into poverty.
·    2,494 babies are born to mothers who are not high school graduates.
·    4,017 babies are born to unmarried mothers.
·    4,302 children are arrested.
·    17,132 public school students are suspended.*

What’s Wrong with Children Today?

We seldom want to look at the statistics about suicide in children
and young people, but they are important to consider. As parents
and educators we tend to ignore this subject, pretending it doesn’t
happen in "good" families. The belief is that suicide happens only
in troubled families to troubled children.

At the ChildSpirit Conference I attended in November, Joseph
Chilton Pearce, author of numerous books including The Magical
Child, gave us a startling statistic. "Suicide is the third leading
cause of death among children and young people".
This number
includes only the young people who succeed, not those who attempt
and live.

He said this is unprecedented in the history of humankind. Never
before have we witnessed children ending their own life in such
numbers. (Additional figures from the American Academy of Child and
Adolescent Psychiatry: Suicide is the third leading cause of death
for 15-to-24-year-olds, and the sixth leading cause of death for
5-to-14-year-olds.)

These are shocking statistics! They cry out for us to wake and to
pay attention. Most of us never think of children ages 5 – 14
committing suicide.

Child and youth suicide is important because it is the tip of the
iceberg
. What lies beneath the water’s surface are all the other
expressions of emotional dis-ease in children. These include ADD,
teen’s dropping out of school, over-weight children, depression,
anxiety, excessive time watching TV and playing video games,
defiance, tantrums and emotional upsets, and repetitive conflicts
with others.

The fact that suicide rates in young people are higher than they
have ever been in the human history indicates the pervasiveness of
the problem. It demands our attention, not because your child will
commit suicide some day, but because your child is being raised in
the same emotional cultural stew
. You don’t want your child or
students to be another statistic of emotional discomfort.

In the last two months, I heard about the suicides of two men in
their early twenties that shocked their families and those who knew
them. Both men were highly successful and were leaders in their
field. To everyone around them, they appeared happy and to be
living full lives. Yet something was seriously wrong with their
internal experience of themselves and of life.

Reason tells us, suicide is not something that is done lightly and
for insignificant reasons. It is an act of desperation, of seeing
no other way. It is the ultimate expression of profound loss,
futility, failure, powerlessness, hopelessness, or anger.

Our culture tends to ignore emotional pain and discomfort. We ask
children to suppress their unhappy feelings and then place extreme
pressures on them to succeed and to meet society’s and our
standards.
We ask them to be someone other than who they are, and
then wonder why they do irrational, hurtful things.

We all love and enjoy the innocence and tenderness of young
children. We want them to keep it forever. This innocence and
tenderness is based on their emotional sensitivity, their
connection with their feelings and their awareness of the feelings
of others.

Acts of suicide and violence in children are cries for us to wake
up as individuals and as a society. What’s wrong with children
today? Nothing. Children are as loving, brilliant, and  joyous as
ever.

What’s wrong with children are their relationships with important
adults in their lives, their relationship with themselves,
traditional models of education and the emotional environment in
which they are being raised. When we ignore a child’s emotional
wholeness, we do it at our peril. The cost of ignoring emotional
wholeness in children and in one’s self is high.

In order for young people to flourish emotionally, they need
several things.
They need safe relationships where they can be who
they are and where they can honestly talk about their needs,
desires and feelings. They need internal strategies to handle the
emotionally painful times. They need people who believe in them
always. They need a strong, positive ground of being within
themselves.

How can you give this to your child and to your students? Begin
today to pay attention to the emotional wholeness of your child.
Gain understanding and develop approaches that nurture his positive
experience of himself and of life. Give him the nurturing and tools
he needs for a joyous, fulfilling life.

This is why I created my Parenting with Joy Training and why I do
the work I do. Your child’s emotional wholeness is the foundation
for her life.
When her emotional wholeness is strong and clear, she
can accomplish so much and be fulfilled and happy as a person. This
is the most important gift you can give your child and your students.

You lay an emotional foundation for your child, whether you are
aware of it or not. Every interaction with your child and every
experience she has in life creates the emotional environment in
which she develops. These experiences help her build strong
emotional resources or they weaken her internal resilience and
ability to flourish. This is true whether your child is six weeks,
6 years or 16 years old.

Commit today to making your child’s emotional wholeness a priority.
Then watch what new things you discover and what experiences occur
in your child’s life and in your own.

“Juvie”–Children’s Fear and Hurt

I recently went to see “Juvie” at the Dragon Theater in Palo Alto, CA. It is a compelling story of the lives of 12 youth who are brought into juvenile hall on a variety of charges including shoplifting, accessory to a murder, selling drugs, vandalism, and arson.

All of the kids are afraid and deeply hurting although they deal with it in different ways, ways I have seen in my work with youth and adults. Here are some of their stories and the way they deal with their fear and hurting.

The shoplifter is the daughter of a wealthy family whose pain is hidden beneath an arrogant attitude and confidence her dad will rescue her. She is cold and uncaring of others. With her strong, seemingly confident attitude, she never appears afraid. She seems to think she’s better and different than the other youth and keeps herself separated and isolated from them.

The youth who is arrested for money laundering has a lower than average IQ who doesn’t really know what he was doing for the men he worked for. He just wants a job and to succeed at it. His pain and confusion are honest and visible. He is vulnerable and open. Because of this, he is both ridiculed and taken care of by the others.

The young man who is an accessory to a murder went to the store to buy beer with his friend. His friend brutally attacked the store clerk when he made them wait to check out. This young man did nothing except be in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong “friend.” He and his friend flea the scene in a dramatic car chase before being apprehended. He is overwhelmed and confused by what happened and cannot believe he can be in trouble because he “did nothing.”

The toughest-appearing girl has been in juvie five times previously. She knows the ropes and is confident she’s getting off easily just as she did before. She bosses the others around, makes fun of them, and seems totally unaffected by her situation. Her walls are high and her heart hardened from pain and fear, which are buried deep, so deep she’s forgotten they are there.

Jane Doe, a visibly terrified girl, trusts no one, not even with her real name. She’s learned the hard way from life that adults cannot be trusted. Her way of keeping safe is to keep all of her self, her feelings, and her sensitivity tucked tightly inside her where no one can get to her. Perhaps not even herself.

Fear and hurt have totally consumed the young female arsonist who finds comfort in fire. Fire is warm, dancing, alive. She seems to not understand the damage she causes or the illegality of her actions. She is addicted.

The young vandal’s anger drives him to strike back at all the hurt imposed on him by the adults in his life. It is his way of getting even, of making things right. He feels the harsh words, the negative judgment and criticism, the lack of concern for his feelings and desires. Then he consciously gets his revenge by vandalizing property. He feels no remorse.

I’ve seen lots of kids with similar attitudes, beliefs and ways of coping. (Adults, too!) They’re afraid and they hurt. They need us, the adults around them, to see below the surface of their behavior to the pain, confusion, and overwhelm buried in their hearts. Every child, every person, no matter what his age, wants to be loved and to do good things. It’s human nature. Sometimes we get a little lost along the way.

Watch this Inspiring Movie

I watched an inspiring movie yesterday based on a true story
Freedom Writers.
Erin Gruwell as a first-year
teacher chose to work in recently-integrated Long Beach School District in Southern California. She taught just after the riots surrounding the
Rodney King verdict. The first day she walked into her classroom, eager and
innocent, wearing her fashionable suit and pearls.

In walk her students—African-Americans, Hispanics,
Asian-Americans, and a few white students—all wanting to be somewhere else,
having
no interest in her or whatever her do-gooder-ness had to say. They were simply
putting in their time and, at best, tolerating her.

With each passing day, the interaction in the classroom and
her passion for her work, spiraled downward.
Just as she was about to give up
ever reaching them, ever getting past their protective bravado, she discovered
a teach-able moment that connected with them. The transformation and the love
affair began.

The movie authentically reflects the realities of life for
the youth.
The day-to-day struggle just to stay alive. Gangs as family and the
loyalty of being true to your own. Their hardness with their pain buried deep
beneath the surface.

The movie powerfully demonstrates what connects with young people, irregardless of their age, ethnicity, or cultural background. This is what works.

You have to show up as the person you truly are, with all of your strengths and limitations. This makes it possible for your child to connect with you. Children become distant and detached and manipulative when you try to be a good parent or teacher.

It’s all about relationship-the emotional connection between the two of you.

Every child wants to succeed in life and to lowingly relate with you. Sometimes they and you become distracted from this powerful desire and then the power struggles, impatience, and misunderstandings begin.