Does Academic Pressure in Kindergarten Make a Difference?

Excellent research-based article in the Harvard Review about the value of academics in Kindergarten. What works is supporting children in play and their natural development.

We can trust children. All the academic efforts in the early years do not help children become more capable or to be more advanced academically than children who followed their natural internal motivation and learned through play.

You can read the article here.

School is a High-Pressure Activity for Children

Children are natural learners as witnessed by their amazing ability to learn to walk, talk, reason, figure things out, imagine new realities – all by the age of 3 and without the benefit of a ‘credentialed teacher.’ Children are naturally curious and are hard-wired to learn and to want to learn.

Yet research shows that by 3rd grade most children have lost their love of learning, their innate drive to learn. Why is this? What happens in school that makes it limiting of chilldren’s natural desires and abilities?

Schools get a lot of criticism these days, mostly because students are not learning so we’re placing more pressure on schools to produce academically. Schools feel the need to teach to the test, everyone working toward the seemingly all-important test scores.

Yet I believe that the biggest determiner of a child’s ability to learn and ultimately succeed in life is their Emotional Wholeness, their emotional well-being, their confidence, connection with themselves and others, and their love of learning, not their grades or test scores.

Schools place demands, expectations and challenging situations on children, which take them away from their natural abilities to learn. I’m concerned that many of the ‘high expectations’ can actually be a deterrent to a child’s happiness and ability and desire to learn.

The other day I started thinking about all the ways that children feel pressure by participation in school. Here are the ones I’ve thought of so far and not in any particular order. Please add your own to this list.

Important Note: I am not saying these apply to all schools. There are many innovative, child-centered programs. Still, I believe all of the following are cause for concern.

~ Dealing with lots of people and social interaction within a relatively small space, aka ‘crowding’

~ Have to sit in desks, uninteresting circle times for often long periods of time – even if you love to move, need to move to learn and be happy.

~ Pressure to conform and fit in with her peers so it is difficult to be himself

~ Expectations to learn information up to specified standard within a given time frame, whether it is interesting to you or not, whether it is easy or difficult

~ Expectations to master skills and information even when not developmentally ready

~ Pressure to earn high grades from teachers and fellow students [Read more…]

How Far Do You Trust Your Child?

Today 14-year-old Laura Dekker of the Netherlands set sail from Portugal in her yacht Guppy with a goal of being the youngest person to sail around the world SOLO.

16-year-old Austrailian Jesse Watson completed her journey today in Sydney just as Dekkar set out.

Most everyone has an opinion. What are her parents thinking? What a brave girl! I hope she makes it.

Some “experts” say Jesse Watson actually didn’t sail enough nautical miles to be technically considered as circumnavigating the world. Others claim she didn’t really do it solo because she had to dock for repairs and have others help her. This is pettyness speaking.

In the midst of all the controversy, I think we’re missing the most important issues.

These young women demonstrate profound trust and confidence in themselves and in their skill to accomplish such an amazing goal. Both they and their parents show extraordinary courage.

To most of us, no matter our age, the idea of sailing solo around the world seems daunting, if not down right impossible. Most of us would be too fearful and filled with self-doubt to consider such an adventure, even if we did know how to sail.

Their moms and dads have to have gut-wrenching trust in their daughters’ abilities and resourcefulness. I’m sure they cringe inside and pray for their daugher’s safety continuously. Yet you have to give them and their daughters credit.

Why can’t we be amazed and inspired by their actions and then choose to allow our children and ourselves to take more risks?

The second important issue is that we dramatically under-estimate what our children are capable of. When we let our fears and inability to allow our children to try the seemingly impossible, we limit them not only in the moment but also for a life-time. [Read more…]

How is Technology Affecting Your Child?

Parents often share with me their concern about their child’s frequent use of technology, their seeming ‘addiction’ to all things virtual – texting, video games, instant messaging, cell phones, game boys in addition to TV and movies.

Recently I came across an article about children and technology by child psychologist and author David Elkind of Tufts University. I’ve always had great respect, affinity and admiration for his ideas and teachings.

In his article, Elkind reflects on the many changes a child experiences because of our technological society…the focus on speed in making things happen, general cultural changes of feeling busier and more rushed to get things done.

Cell phones and IM that feed into the divide between children and their parents because they have easy and immediate access to friends 24 / 7.

Before the digital culture, there was a language and lore of childhood – games, songs, rhymes, stories passed down verbally from generation to generation. Remember “The Itsy, Bitsy Spider?” Now young people have access to information from all over the world with little need or time for such ‘silly games.’

One of the things that most concerns me is the loss of 8 – 12 hours per week of unstructured play and outdoor pastimes. Elkind reminds us “spontaneous play allows children to use their imagination, make and break rules, socialize with each other…nurtures their autonomy and originality.”

These are hugely essential developmental experiences and skills that naturally develop problem-solving skills, social skills, self-expression, deep connection to one’s self, and creativity. If we limit these in our children, we “dumb them down” as author-educator John Taylor Gatto would say, and advance a mindless lack of awareness of self, others, and the realities of life. [Read more…]

“Conscious Parenting, Joyous Families” – Heard on Joy of Love and Life Radio

Tuesday is Take Care of Sebastian Day, who is now sleeping after creating with play dough and markers and reading numerous books. I so appreciate having this time with him every Tuesday. He is a precious, happy cutie, and I love watching him grow!

The Joy of Love and Life Radio show last week “Conscious Parenting, Joyous Families” was FANTASTIC! And lots of fun for all of us!

I was a featured guest along with two other brilliant women Charlene Nelson and Sarah MacLaughlin both of whom have valuable books for parents and children.

You’ll definitely want to listen to the call if you didn’t get to listen live. You’ll hear lots of useful tips to make parenting more fun and joyous for you and your child.

You can listen in iTunes or download it free to your iPod here.

After you listen, let me know what you think in the “Comments” section below. Any questions?

Enjoy! This will make you smile!