How to Teach Gullibility to Children

No one wants their child to be gullible. Yet parents and teachers unconsciously do things that encourage it. Webster defines gullible as “easily deceived or cheated, naive.”

What makes a child gullible? A tendency to go along with what someone is telling you without thinking for one’s self. Not trusting one’s self.

Psychologist Stephen Greenspan,  author of Annals of Gullibility: Why We Get Duped and How to Avoid It,  recently appeared on NPR’s Science Friday to talk about his being duped in the Bernard Madoff's money-making  scheme, which fooled many clever people.

He made two very revealing comments during the interview.

1.    His mom always told him,”Don’t be so willing to do what your friends tell you.”

2.    He described himself as having “a tendency to be a nice guy and to do what people tell me.”

To listen to his interview, go here.

One secret to lessen your child's or students' gullibility is to support her child to think for herself and to encourage individual discernment, both at home and at school. When parents and educators try to do the thinking for children, they unknowingly diminish a child’s self-trust, autonomy, and awareness.

Denise Clark Pope in her book “Doing School”: How We Are Creating a Generation of Stressed Out, Materialistic, and Miseducated Students reports on a high-achieving sophomore in high school who explained “sincerely that, ideally, he wishes he could forget about the grades and just do the work the way he wants to do it. He wishes he could write papers the way he would like to see them written, instead of how the teachers want to see them.”

Kevin says with a sigh, “I wish I could say I’m an individual, and I am not going to sacrifice my individuality for a grade, you know…just write for writing’s sake.”

This is one place gullibility begins—when a young person feels they have to pay attention to others more than to herself. She becomes a people-pleaser and stops thinking for herself.. Then she is more easily prey for others who want take advantage of her naivete.

Vote Against No Child Left Behind

Jeanne Houston refers to No Child Left Behind as No Child Left Alive.  If you agree, you can act today to tell President-Elect Obama what you believe children need.

If you’re opposed to the pressure we place on children and educators to perform in the high-stakes testing of No Child Left Behind, go here to cast your vote.

We can guide and empower our new president to make dramatic, positive changes in the lives of children.

Parenting by Convention

In the most recent edition of Ode
Magazine
, there is an article about new trends in medicine and healing. Natural
healer Victoria Maizes says, “Much of what we do in conventional medicine is
just that—convention.”

This is also true in the parenting and
educating of children. Much of what we do is simply convention and is not examined
deeply for its true results in children’s lives
. Most parents and educators
were raised and taught in ways that is now assumed to be “the way it is done,”
without any real questioning or evaluation of the process. Therefore, they tend
to utilize similar principles, strategies and approaches with the children in
their care.

It’s imperative that we as parents,
educators and a society re-examine the ways in which we relate with children. Many
adults unconsciously do things that undermine the very thing they are trying to
accomplish
, which is to help children be successful, happy, flourishing people
both now and in the future. We need to step away from convention and explore
what truly empowers children and brings out their natural gifts and talents.

As a society and a planet, we all need
everyone’s human best as we live during these changing and challenging times.

 

Excellent Gift Idea for Children

I just
bought three beautiful books for holiday gifts from the Global Fund for Children.
The Global Fund for Children’s mission
is to advance the dignity of children and youth around the world. GFC pursues its mission by making small
grants to innovative community-based organizations working with some of the
world’s most vulnerable children and youth.

One of the outstanding contributions
GFC makes is by a dynamic media program that, through books, documentary
photography, and film, highlights the issues affecting children and celebrates
the global society in which we all live. Their books are BEAUTIFUL and
inspiring
!

The books are for children ages
infant to early teens. I bought two copies of Global Babies, a boardbook for
infants and toddlers with close-up photos of babies from several areas of the
world. This book was recognized by Oprah as outstanding.

The other book I bought is Come Out
and Play
, which has full-color photos of children playing around the world. Photos
include Playing a string game in Egypt, Riding a tricycle in the Dominican
Republic, Flying a kite in China. These books make excellent conversation
starters
with children about different cultures and the lives of people around
the world. Make sure you have a globe handy!

Plus the books are reasonably priced
for these interesting economic times.

With a
small investment of money, you have a beautiful book for a child, you support a
non-profit that makes an important contribution to children who need it most,
and you expand your child’s global awareness. What a delightful investment and
way to share the joy of the season!

Nebraska’s Safe Haven Law—What Went Wrong?

A few weeks ago Nebraska limited its
Safe Haven Law to infants 30 days old or younger. Previously they set no age
limit and simply specified ‘child.’ Nothing happened for the first 2 months.
Then in the next three months, 34 children were abandoned in hospitals
throughout the state, none of whom were infants and 5 were from other states.

 Many people believe the problem is inadequate
mental health services for children
. Nebraska parents complained of not being
able to get their child to take their medication and being turned away from
programs because their child wasn’t bad enough, hadn’t committed a crime or his
parents made too much money.

When a child fails to conform to
parental and educational standards and expectations, on the surface this
appears to be a problem of the child having a psychological – social disorder. In
these situations, parents assume the problem is with the child and rush to get
their child diagnosed and treated, often with medication.

What I’ve found is that not all
children are willing to conform to adult expectations
and standards. Those
children who do conform to please adults compromise their own integrity and
emotional wholeness. They try to be good rather than being themselves. In fact,
a strong case can be made that those children who don’t fit are in better shape
emotionally and socially than those who conform.

So what’s the answer? Children are
hard-wired to lovingly connect with their parents and to succeed in life.
It’s
what every child desires. If we want to encourage this positive self-expression
in children, then parents, educators and school systems need to evaluate their
own behavior to find how they can empower the emotional wholeness in children.

When we pressure and demand that
children conform, children have one of two choices
—either they conform and do
what they’re told or they resist and are labeled. Neither is a good option.
Society, parents and educators need to re-think what children need from us and
how we can best support them. We’re asking the wrong questions and going in the
wrong direction.