Halloween Fun 2009

Halloween was so much fun this year! Here are some photos for your enjoyment.

Mini-monsters Halloween party

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Orion, Nichola and Sebastian

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My son the Punk Rocker

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Doug, Sebastian and Me

Nichola and Orion for an evening out

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Family Camping in Sieras ’09

Here are some fun family photos from our camping trip last weekend. Enjoy!!

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Family Time in Nature is The Best

Orion, Nichola, Sebastian, Doug and I
went camping last weekend in the Sierras. We had such a joyous, magical, fun
time together loving each other and the beauty and peacefulness of Mother
Earth. Sebastian went non-stop until those moments when exhaustion overtook
him. Here is a photo of BasSierra_09 and me playing Horsie.

Nichola shared an interesting experience
with me. The week before going camping, several people were shocked they were
taking a toddler camping in the mountains. They cautioned her about all the
dangers in nature that could hurt a child so young.

Yet the two times we’ve camped as a
family this year, both times Orion has observed, “Isn’t it amazing that we can
let Sebastian run around and worry about him less when we’re camping than when
we’re at home? Even when the last time was camping in the desert!”

Nature gives us magical moments to awaken
to ourselves and what matters most. A few weeks ago my assistant Lisa and her
family enjoyed an active, fun camping vacation in Yosemite. She shared she was
surprised and delighted how quickly she connected with nature and relaxed
shortly after arriving. Then they enjoyed lots of hiking and bike riding as a
family. Bliss!

Enjoying the beauty of Mother Earth is
one of those precious resources available to us all every moment. Yet because
she seems to be always there, it is easy to postpone those precious moments …

Effective parenting advice is available 24/7!

Ever find yourself overwhelmed in the moment and not
knowing what to do to respond to your child? If you’re like most parents, when
you’re upset, you aren’t thinking clearly. This is when you say and do things you
may regret later.

These are the situations when you need some good
solid parenting advice and a reminder of the kind of parent you want to be. My
new book Joyous Child Joyous Parent
is filled with a treasure trove of inspiring, practical guidelines to
help you in those times of crisis and on a day-to-day basis.

This Thursday, August 20, I’ll announce my Virtual
Book Launch Party, in which I’ll share with you an exciting opportunity to
understand and use the Joyous Parenting™ approach more fully when you
communicate with your child. Be sure to watch for your invitation!

Want to know how to improve your child’s behavior
now?

As a parent, you probably spend more time focusing on
your child’s behavior than on your own. Today’s parenting tip reminds you of
your true source of power and how to make a positive influence in your child’s
life. Read below to discover what you can do now!



The Price of Violence to our Children

Paul Butler in his book Let’s Get Free: A Hip-Hop Theory of Justice reports the U.S. has 5% of the world’s population and 25% of its prisoners. He adds that a prison opens in the U.S. every week.

He argues the U.S. has gone too far in its “lock ‘em up culture” and that “The freedom we save will be our own.”

Add to this that every state allows juveniles to be tried as adults and more than 20 states allow pre-adolescent children as young as 7 to be tried in adult courts.

These statistics are shocking and deeply troublesome. When children are treated harshly when they are young, whether it is by the justice system, our educational system or their parents, they are more likely to struggle for happiness and success in life and to become increasingly angry, isolated or violent in adulthood.

When children are born, they are extremely sensitive to the emotions of the people around them and to the way they are treated emotionally. They feel our unconscious feelings even when we do not. They are so easily influenced by the adults in their life.

As adults, most of us forget how sensitive we were as children and have unknowingly put up emotional walls between ourselves and those around us to keep us safe emotionally. We’ve learned to put up walls to keep us from feeling those painful, uncomfortable feelings that come with harsh treatment and lack of understanding about our emotional needs.

Every day as parents, educators, and a society, we make choices that either allow our children to feel safe emotionally or we make reactive choices in our words and actions that affect their Emotional Wholeness and well-being for the rest of their life.

This is one of the most important ideas for all of us to deeply understand. What happens in a child’s life emotionally colors and affects the rest of his life. There is simply so way around this.

Healing can happen when difficult environments are changed or children are put in new situations that support their healing. Nonetheless, the more severe the emotional hurting, the more long-lasting the pain and the greater impact in their life.

Children are a high priority to almost everyone in the U.S. and around the world. We care deeply about children. Yet emotional pain is often caused by unconscious behaviors by adults who don’t fully understand the impact of their words and actions in a child’s emotional experience.

When adults react from fear and anger, whether it’s in a child’s home, school, or in our country’s justice system, both children and adults pay a high price. It is essential that we become more conscious and committed to nurturing our children’s Emotional Wholeness if we are to see them be as happy and successful as we all desire.

When children are nurtured emotionally, our world becomes a more harmonious, joyous place for everyone.

What will you do today to emotionally nurture the children in your life?

Modern Potty Talk: What Happened to Intrinsic Motivation?

My rant for today…

I’m looking for a potty chair for my grandson Sebastian who is almost 2. I find the section in the store and am surprised by what I find—brightly colored pink or blue plastic potty chairs with names like Cheer for Me Potty, Royal Princess Stepstool Potty, and Royal Step Potty.

The part that bothers me the most are the talking, interactive ones: Toddlers are rewarded with 5 phrases and 2 sing-along training songs for "contributions."

Everywhere I turn in our modern society I see techniques designed to get children to do what adults what they want them to do. These manipulative techniques include special treats, money, and praise. All are based on external rewards.

One of the quickest way to guide a child away from his / her natural knowing and desire to do well in life (intrinsic motivation) is to use external rewards. Then the child looks outside himself for guidance of right and wrong, what works and doesn’t work as he tries to earn the external reward.

Do you ever look to others for their approval and advice instead of listening to yourself? Pretty much all of us do. This is because we learned this behavior when we were young children.

So many adults wonder who they are and seek out therapists and coaches in order to be able to listen to themselves and to trust themselves. This is not a comfortable or empowered place to be.

Children naturally want to do well in life, to do what big people do. When children struggle with something natural like potty training, it is a problem in the communication and relationship between the parent and the child. It is frankly a parenting problem, not a child problem.

So let’s trust our children a little more to do the right thing, to figure out the right thing, and do away with all our reinforcing techniques that make them pay attention to us than to themselves. We belittle them when we treat them this way.

Children are amazing, brilliant people who are skilled at figuring out life without all the external distractions from adults. Let’s consciously make choices to keep them that way. No more talking potties!