Myth-Busting Bullying:The Bully is Not the ‘Bad’ Guy

Bullying is so intricately tied to how we relate to one another, how we perceive one another, that it is important for every parent to have a clear understanding of the dynamics and causes of bullying.

Today’s video introduces key insights into the relationship between the ‘bully’ and ‘victim’ and how we as parents, educators and society respond to this limiting dynamic.

You’ll discover new ways of perceiving and understanding the relationships between all people of all ages, including your own painful beliefs about situations where you have been bullied..

The video is below.

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If you’d like to know what you can do to empower your child to be more confident with her peers and in other social situations, I invite you to join me for my new teleclass “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens.”

This video series about Myth-Busting Bullying is the beginning content of the class in which you will discover:

  • A major cause of bullying that most experts overlook. You will be surprised!
  • Strategies to empower your child socially so she is less vulnerable to being bullied
  • The most important thing you can do to support your child to tell you when he’s been bullied. This is SO important!
  • How to best help your child respond to bullying – what works and what doesn’t

Click here to register and get more info.

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If you haven’t had a chance to watch the first two videos in the series, here are the links:

Myth-Busting Bullying: How Big a Problem Is It Really?

Myth-Busting Bullying: What’s It Really All About?

Has anyone ever told you that you were doing something ‘bad,’ and you were just doing the best you could at the time? Let us know in Comments below.

Myth-Busting Bullying: What’s It Really All About?

I hope you’ve had a chance to watch the first video in my series about “Myth-Busting Bullying. If you didn’t get to watch it, here it is again:

Myth-Busting Bullying: How Big a Problem is It Really?

If bullying is a concern for you and you’d like to know what you can do – Yes! You can make a big difference for your child! – I invite you to sign-up for my new teleclass “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens.”

This class is on Wednesday, September 25. I promise you will come away with more clarity and feeling empowered by what you can do immediately to help bully-proof your child.

Click here to sign-up and get more info.

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The 2nd video in my series “Myth-Busting Bullying: What’s It Really All About?“, explores the following areas:

  • a good working definition of bullying
  • the four types of bullying
  • the places where bullying occurs
  • the bottom line of what bullying is really all about.

In this short video (less than 5 minutes), you’ll be surprised by what you discover, and it will give you some new ways of perceiving and thinking about bullying.

What experiences have you or someone you love had with bullying? Please share in Comments.

 

 

Mythbusting Bullying: How Big a Problem Is It Really?

“Bullying” is one of the topics you’ve most requested I talk about, and now I’m doing it!

The topic of bullying is fraught with worry and concern about your child as well as what you can do to prevent it and how to best respond when it does happen.

No parent wants their child to feel the humiliation and shame of being bullied. Neither do parents want their child to be the bully or the one who stands by and watches it happen. Yet it always happens outside parents’ reach and influence. Parents are not around; they don’t see it happening and cannot immediately intervene. This can leave  you feeling powerless and uncertain.

As I observe and research how we as a culture are responding to this problem, I’ve uncovered lots of myths and misconceptions about the causes of bullying and what to do about it.

Over the next 3 weeks in a series of short videos, I’m going to share with you some of these myths and misconceptions about bullying so you can make more informed choices how you want to best support your child to be neither the bully, the victim, or the bystander in this escalating problem.

I was going to include this information in my teleclass, but I want to give you the first part of my class for FREE. Bullying is such a complex topic and I have so much I want to share with you, I decided to make this information available to everyone in this video series.

Save the Date!

My new teleclass; “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens” is later this month.

Date: Wednesday, September 25

Time: 5:30 – 7 pm Pacific (9:30 – 11 Eastern)

Be sure to save the date in your calendar.

Below is the first in the series.

What are your biggest concerns about bullying? Let me know in Comments.!

 

Family Travel Adventures This Summer

I hope you’re enjoying the last days of summer and that you and your family have been sharing fun and fulfilling adventures. I’ve certainly been having a lot of fun.

After our 8-day adventure in Colorado with our son and family, Doug and I headed off with Sebastian for 6 days camping and exploring in and around Lassen Volcanic National Park. We chose this destination because it was within a reasonable driving time, and Sebastian has been fascinated with volcanoes for quite a while. We wanted to give him an up close and personal experience.

After a gorgeous 3 mile round trip hike at 8000′ elevation to Bumpass Hell, we were greeted by the lovely sulfur fragrance of rotten eggs, hot steam pouring out of fumeroles, bubbling water, and serious warnings to stay in the trail, which Sebastian questioned us about frequently along with the story of Mr. Bumpass whose leg was badly scalded when it broke through a thin crust above a mud pot in 1860’s.

We also explored the 600 yard Subway Cave lava tube. We absolutely needed headlamps, and I was glad I took a light jacket for warmth. At Sulfur Works, we got to see bubbling mud pots up close and personal. Sebastian took lots of photos.

Another highlight from this trip was supporting Sebastian to get his second Junior Ranger badge and a couple of other patches just because he could. Sebastian LOVES earning these badges, and I highly recommend the Junior Ranger Program available in many of our National Parks and Monuments.

Sebastian learns about the natural and cultural environment as he explores the park to complete his Junior Ranger Book, which he takes home with him. He also participates in interesting ranger programs, talks with rangers, and takes an oath to protect nature and our parks before he gets is patch. I think we have as much fun as he does, and we are already considering options for next year. I wonder if Madison will be ready to go with us!

Click here to see some photos from our adventure.

We also had a relaxing 3-day camping trip in the Sierras with Orion and family. We had a great time, even though our clothes reeked of smoke from the Rim Fire about 40 miles to the south. It didn’t seem that smoky.

We have a favorite spot where we camp above Lake Alpine in national forest land with no one around. We carry in everything we need, including water and Mr Shovel. One of my favorite parts of this trip was watching Orion and Sebastian bury a secret treasure, mark it with an ‘X’, and then make a map to dig it up next year when we return.

Then, in a few short weeks, Doug and I fly to Hanoi, Vietnam, to explore the northern half of this glorious, fascinating country.

Going on adventures, whether for two weeks or a day, is one of my most favorite things to do. I feel such freedom and joy when I am out exploring and discovering.

One of my fondest wishes for you and your family is that you experience the freedom and joy of being yourselves and sharing whatever you most love.

Your Child is NOT the Cause of Your Frustration

This is a gentle reminder about my one-time-only teleclass tonight: “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child.”

I just received an email from a mom in our community who wondered about something I said in my last email.

What I wrote: “When you increase your awareness of what is stirring up your anger — it is NOT your child — then you begin to have needed awareness and strategies to calm to your inner emotional fire.”

Her question – Is this really true? “I’m curious why the child isn’t a potential source of the [parent’s} emotional response.”

This is certainly how it feels. Your anger and frustration seem to be caused by your child’s behavior. Yet, by stopping here and not questioning this belief or your anger, you miss important insights about yourself and your part in your repetitive frustrations with your child.

You really are in charge of your emotional responses, as hard to understand as that may be. It’s all about perception. Your child is NOT the source of your anger.

This is exactly what we are going to discuss tonight in the teleclass:

  • Why you really are the one responsible for your feelings of frustration
  • What are the real sources of your anger and frustration
  • How to take responsibility for your own emotional upsets
  • Specific, concrete strategies to deal with these real sources of your frustration.
  • Communication skills to prevent future upsets and make amends for your actions.

I have consistently found the most important and first place to put your attention is on yourself…as annoying as that may be. It is your only true, long-term source of power and positive influence with your child and your happiness.

Want to learn more about this personally empowering approach to handling your emotional upsets about your child?

Great! I invite you to join us for our call tonight “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child.” If you can’t be on the call live, sign-up and you’ll have the audio recording by tomorrow morning.

Click here now to take action and sign-up.