I watched an inspiring movie yesterday based on a true story
Freedom Writers. Erin Gruwell as a first-year
teacher chose to work in recently-integrated Long Beach School District in Southern California. She taught just after the riots surrounding the
Rodney King verdict. The first day she walked into her classroom, eager and
innocent, wearing her fashionable suit and pearls.

In walk her students—African-Americans, Hispanics,
Asian-Americans, and a few white students—all wanting to be somewhere else, having
no interest in her or whatever her do-gooder-ness had to say. They were simply
putting in their time and, at best, tolerating her.

With each passing day, the interaction in the classroom and
her passion for her work, spiraled downward. Just as she was about to give up
ever reaching them, ever getting past their protective bravado, she discovered
a teach-able moment that connected with them. The transformation and the love
affair began.

The movie authentically reflects the realities of life for
the youth. The day-to-day struggle just to stay alive. Gangs as family and the
loyalty of being true to your own. Their hardness with their pain buried deep
beneath the surface.

The movie powerfully demonstrates what connects with young people, irregardless of their age, ethnicity, or cultural background. This is what works.

You have to show up as the person you truly are, with all of your strengths and limitations. This makes it possible for your child to connect with you. Children become distant and detached and manipulative when you try to be a good parent or teacher.

It’s all about relationship-the emotional connection between the two of you.

Every child wants to succeed in life and to lowingly relate with you. Sometimes they and you become distracted from this powerful desire and then the power struggles, impatience, and misunderstandings begin.