Research seems to indicate that
morality and responsibility for others doesn’t develop in children until
adolescence. Yet my son Orion and I recently observed his son (and my wonderful
grandson!) 2-year-old Sebastian do something at the park that powerfully
contradicts this belief.

First I want to give you the lay of
the land. Orion and I are standing at the top of one those big play structures
that has a tall, twisting slide. On one side is a steep, rock climbing section
that goes from the ground to the top of the play structure. Sebastian has
mastered this climb after being spotted during countless attempts.

Sebastian has just made friends with a
2-year-old girl who is there with her grandfather, who is carefully watching
her. We’ll call her Sara. She is doing well getting around and yet not as
physically strong or coordinated as Sebastian.

Sara and Sebastian laugh and giggle as
they run around, going down the tall slide then running around to the top of
the structure and then going down the slide again. Everything is going smoothly
and easily.

This time Sara goes down the slide
ahead of Sebastian and runs around a corner of the play structure out of Grandfather’s,
Orion’s and my sight. Sebastian follows down the slide and looks in the
direction Sara has run.

He has a concerned look on his face as
he looks from Sara to her grandfather, back to Sara and then to Grandfather who
not paying attention at that moment to his granddaughter.

Then Sebastian walks over to
Grandfather until he has his attention, and then points in the direction of
Sara to show Grandfather that Sara is going up the rock climbing section.
Grandfather immediately runs over to Sara to make sure she is safe.

Observing Sebastian’s awareness and
responsibility for this girl he just met is totally amazing to me. He knows
Sara is potentially not safe and Grandfather needs to know what she is doing. And
HE TAKES ACTION TO MAKE SURE SARA IS SAFE!

Orion and I can hardly believe what we
have just observed! I’ve never seen a child do anything like this. I’ve watched
many children on playgrounds before, and they are seldom aware of potential
danger for other children. They are focused on having fun themselves.

Sebastian is being raised using the
principles of Joyous Parenting™, which I’ve seen make a big difference in a
child’s ability to be fully, positively and morally present, a quality
essential for authentic relationships and success in life.

Children are naturally brilliantly
capable, insightful, moral and empathic from a very young age. It’s essential
to their development that we as parents, educators, and a society recognize this
if we are to relate with them in emotionally-nurturing ways so they easily
express their full capability.

I invite you to expand your vision of
who children are and of their natural capabilities. You’ll be amazed by what
you discover.

Do you have a story of your child
doing something amazingly moral and empathic to share? I’d love to hear it!

 

On a recent outing in Old Town Scottsdale, i came upon the magnificent fountain with five unique horses. Here are some photos I'd love to share with you, especially all you horse lovers!

 

 

 

 

You know giving your child presents and material
possessions for the holidays are not the most important things you can do for
your child this holiday season. And with the current economic challenges, you
may not feel you have the usual amount of extra cash to spend on gifts that you
have in the past.

Another GI Joe action figure, the latest and greatest
Barbie or the “in” pair of designer jeans won’t really make a significant
impact in your child’s life, either this year or all the years to come. It
feels good in the moment, and it’s not an investment in your child’s future.

Yet if you’re like many parents, you and your child are
already planning and talking about those special toys and gifts she wants this
holiday season. You may even have some of them already purchased and stashed
away somewhere hoping she won’t find them.

We all love giving our children gifts. Not so much
because you value the gift itself, but because you love seeing the delight in
your child’s eyes. Their excitement at having received what they want.

But if you think about it for just a moment, you’ve
also noticed that often the glitter of these longed-for gifts fades quickly;
and they sit unused on the shelf. Or worse, they lie in the middle of the floor
where you have to keep reminding your child to put them away.

So how can you make this a holiday season where the
sparkle in your child’s eyes comes from his heart, and not just a quick, superficial
flash that lasts a few days?

Imagine that you could give your child gifts that
would last a lifetime and that would bring a smile to her face now and in the
future. Think how happy that would make you. It’s every parent’s dream.

Here are five essential gifts you can give your child
this year that are guaranteed to bring joy to his eyes during this holiday
season and throughout the year ahead.

1. Feeling safe

Your child feels safe when she knows she can count on
you to be there for her and to be consistent in your words and actions. She
knows what to expect from you and can trust you to manage and be responsible
for your own emotional reactions without acting in ways that are emotionally
and physically hurtful.

She also knows that your feelings, words and actions
are congruent. In other words, you don’t say one thing and do something else.
You don’t pretend to be feeling something you’re not by wearing a smile on your
face while you struggle emotionally with sadness, anger, or worry.

You care about her emotional well-being and take
action accordingly.

2. Unconditional love and acceptance

Unconditional love and acceptance means you look for
the good in your child and know that it’s there even when his behavior seems to
indicate disrespect and defiance. You love and accept all of him, things that
are easy to love and the things that challenge you. (This doesn’t mean you let
him walk all over you, but that’s a topic for another article.)

When your child feels deeply loved and appreciated, he
soars to great heights and enjoys a life of fullness and joyous
self-expression. Your unconditional love means far more than any gift you can
purchase to ‘show’ him how much you love him. When you live it, he feels it and
it goes right to his heart.

One of the best ways to express your unconditional
love is to spend time with him, doing things that you both enjoy and that
perhaps allows you to experience a part of his world you have not tried before.
When you share loving, joyous time together, you create memories that nurture
your hearts forever.

3. Self-confidence

Self-confidence comes along with self-love and self-trusting.
She likes herself and possesses a peaceful, strong certainty that takes her
through life’s up’s and down’s. One of the most important ways you can nurture
self-confidence in your child is to trust her and to feel and act confidently
about her choices and actions.

Without self-confidence and trust in herself, your
child will hesitate to put herself out there and to take the essential risks
that life demands. Self-confidence meanss she makes her own well-being a
priority and has the courage to act on it.

4. Ability to think for himself and to make wise
choices

Self-reliance goes hand-in-hand with self-confidence.
When you trust your child to reason things out for himself and to make his own
choices, he gains essential life skills to make wise choices. When he’s not
allowed to fully develop his choice-making muscles, he feels insecure and acts
hesitantly. He also becomes dependent on you to do his thinking for him.

Find ways to let your child make real choices for
himself, even when he makes choices that are difficult for you to watch. This
is a necessary part of his growth and development as a person.

5. Inspiration to greatness and delight in life

This is about self-motivation and an inner urge to
achieve one’s goals and desires in life. We all possess this natural desire and
drive. Yet parents and educators unknowingly and unintentionally say and do
things that limit and suppress this natural drive to greatness and joy in
children.

It is a huge price to pay to watch your child be
unmotivated to make smart choices for her own welfare. An important way to give
this to your child is by giving it to yourself. Let yourself be inspired to
take action for your own greatness and delight in living.

So that’s my list for this year, the essential gifts that are an investment in
your child’s future.

Of course, you want to give some thoughtful,
meaningful gifts to your child. That’s part of the fun. But most children want
fewer presents than they receive. Choose a few gifts that are perfect for your
child now.

Most of all, remember to invest in these 5 important gifts
this holiday season. When you invest in long-term heart-centered joy and
authentic connection, you’ll discover how profoundly magical and loving the
holidays can be, this year and every
year.

We had so much fun on Halloween this year! Doug and I
dressed in our favorite and easiest costumes – cowboy / cowgirl. We don’t have
to look far for the boots and hats we need. 
We went to Orion and Nichola’s
party for mini-monsters and spent some fun time with the little ones and their
moms and dads.

Then in the evening, Sebastian spent the night with
us, and we took him out trick-or-treating for his first time. He liked going to
people’s houses, looking at the decorations, knocking on the door and often just
walking inside their living room, and then collecting candy to put in his
‘purse.’

Orion and Nichola went to an adult Halloween party
and had a great time. Their costumes were so amazing I simply had to share them
with you here in this photo. I’m sure you recognize their characters if you’ve
seen the movie The Dark Knight.

Would you like to have the holidays be more fun
and less stressful? It’s easier than you think.

Now that November has arrived and daylight savings
time has ended, everyone’s attention is shifting to the coming holidays. We all
want the holidays to be special and fun, especially for our children; but the
stress of adding even more activities and projects to your already busy
schedule can literally push you over the edge. Tempers become frayed and
patience can be hard to come by when you want it most.

To help reduce your stress and increase your calmness
during the holidays, I’ve created a special coaching intensive, which I’ll announce
in the next few days. This unique program will be limited to a small group of
parents who are ready to take powerful action to be more patient with their
child and who act quickly.

If this sounds interesting to you, be sure you’re
among the select few who have this life-changing opportunity before the
holidays begin! Watch for my announcement in the next few days!

Want to give your child what he really wants this
holiday season?

You know giving your child presents and material
possessions for the holidays is not the most important thing you can do for your
child this holiday season. And with the current economic challenges, you may
not feel you have the usual amount of cash available for gifts that you have in
the past.

Want some new ideas of how to make the holidays with
your child truly meaningful? Here’s a list that will bring a smile to your face
and a sparkle to your child’s eyes that will last the entire year. Read today’s
article to clarify where to focus your energy and time this holiday season to
deeply nurture your child’s happiness.