What Happened to Their Humanity? Part 1

This is a question on everyone’s minds in Richmond, CA, where a group of approximately12 teens watched while several young men gang raped and beat a 15-year-old girl. This is truly a horrific story, shocking and disturbing to everyone that young men would violently injure and abuse this young girl.

The haunting question on everyone’s mind is, “What about the young people who stood around and watched? Why didn’t they do something to stop it? What happened to their humanity and their ability to take action to call authorities?”

When we hear stories like this, we believe once again that the next generation lacks basic human values. We feel judgmental of them and question their goodness.

But young people do not make these choices in a vacuum. Young people choose these actions based on many factors. It is not that they are inherently bad people. It is not that they didn’t know better.

We need to look to the emotional environments in which they have grown up.

If we want young people to act with humanity, we must treat them with humanity. We cannot yell at them, perceive them as failures, ignore their requests and ideas without damaging their natural moral values.

We must walk our talk as adults with children and everyone with whom we interact.

Children will never learn true humanity by being taught by a teacher or from a textbook.

True humanity comes from listening to the truth within their heart. We can help children use this natural ability by listening to the truth within their heart, no matter how insignificant or inappropriate it seems to us.

And by not unknowingly diminishing their humanity as people.

When we as educators, parents and society honor the goodness in children’s hearts, children will honor the goodness in their own hearts and in the hearts of others.

Are You Putting Everyone Else’s Needs Before Your Own?

The message this time of year is “Joy!” and “Make
Merry!” But is this really what you’re feeling as you haul yourself out of bed
in the morning, get your children to school, rush through your day and arrive
home to make sure homework is done and your children are in bed on time? And
squeeze in shopping and parties?

Probably not. Joy is often postponed until a later
date when you have the time or for a special event. 

If you’re like many moms – and dads, too – you expend
much of your energy and time taking care of your child’s and partner’s needs
and wants, relegating your own to the back burner for a later date. You may
feel you don’t deserve or can’t afford some private, nurturing time for
yourself when yesterday’s dishes are still in the sink.

You may feel you shouldn’t read the mystery you love
or take a nice hot soak when your child can’t seem to find anything to do and
he needs you to entertain him.

Or your husband has had a long day of work, and you
don’t want to burden him with taking care of your child when he wants to watch
TV.

Yet taking care of yourself is essential to you and
your family if you are to truly succeed in nurturing your family’s emotional
needs and empowering them to live their best life, joyously and successfully. I
cannot stress this too much.

In fact, I continually focus on taking excellent care
of myself and my own joy and fulfillment. The more I do it, the better I feel
and the more I enjoy my family and my life.

Of course, it’s important to respond to your family’s
emotional and physical needs. I’m not suggesting you neglect or ignore them. You’ll
find, however, the more you deeply nurture yourself, the more you’ll naturally want
to nurture your child and everyone else in your family.

Without some ‘Me Time’ and ‘Couple Time’, your effectiveness
and fulfillment as a mom and as a wife will be significantly diminished.

Here
are 5 important reasons why taking good care of yourself every day and
nurturing your own joy and fulfillment are ESSENTIAL for your family’s love,
joy, and Emotional Wholeness this holiday season and throughout the coming
year.

Reason #1  You feel happier, more content and fulfilled.

This means you come to your child and partner renewed,
refreshed, and ready to be more fully present. You literally bring your joy to
your interactions with your family. It only takes a moment of thought to
realize how important this is to their joy and contentment.

Reason #2  You have a clearer perception of potentially difficult situations
with your child and your partner.

You’ll listen more deeply and be more understanding
of his feelings in the situation. This helps you find win-win solutions and
prevent conflicts and emotional meltdowns. You’ll break away from the should’s
and do what is best for both of you.

Reason #3  You create an
emotionally and physically safe environment for all the people in your family.

When you’ve pushed yourself to your limit or beyond
your limit, your own emotional and energy reserves are depleted. At these
times, you have a short fuse and little things, like a forgotten kiss or a
little hesitation about getting ready for bed, can put you over the top and
into your own emotional meltdown.

When you feel impatient and at the end of your rope,
no one feels safe, not even you.

Reason #4  You model to your
child and your partner how to make choices that nurture one’s self.

You play a powerful role in
your family whether you realize it or not. One of the
most important things your child learns from you is how you treat yourself.
When you find yourself postponing or neglecting what you need and want for
yourself, ask yourself if this is the way you want your child to treat
her/himself.

Nothing I know of makes the importance of nurturing
your own joy more clear than to consider your child doing the same things they
see you do daily.


Reason #5  You live a fuller,
richer, deeper experience in life and in your family.

Imagine for a moment what a more joyous, fulfilling
life would be like for you. What would you do that you love? How would you feel
to simply delight in your family and in your life? How would it change the
choices you make if this were your reality on a consistent, on-going basis?

Make taking care of yourself a high priority this
holiday season and throughout the coming year!

Many moms won’t do this for themselves, and they will
do it for their child and their family. It doesn’t matter as much ‘why’ you
give yourself a more fulfilling life as it does that you do it. Everyone
benefits. You’ll see more delight and joy in your family’s eyes, and you’ll
create a more fulfilling, rewarding life for both yourself and everyone in your
family.

Try it! You’ll be amazed by the results.

I’d love to hear from you. Let me know what you
discover.

Let Your Intuition Guide You

Last week I attended Isabel Parlett’s “Put the Mojo
in Your Message” event in Phoenix. Isabel is both my mentor and my client. I
had so much fun moving and listening to tribal drumming to access the deepest message
I want to share with the world. I’m delighted with what I discov
PB130033ered.

While there I also had the opportunity to visit Old
Town Scottsdale where they have an amazing horse fountain. You know my love of
horses. I couldn’t resist taking some photos.

One of the big lessons I’ve learned in my life is to
trust those urgings within me to do something that feels right for me. This is
true whether it’s taking photos of a horse fountain, attending a training or
creating a program to empower parents.

Right now, in addition to my upcoming Parents
Keep Your Cool Intensive
, I’m excited
about my first ever home study program, which will be available in just a few
weeks. My assistant Lisa an
d I are getting everything ready for you as quickly
as we can. I’m so looking forward to sharing this transformational program with
you soon!

If there is one mistake I see parents make over
and over
, it’s not realizing how important you are to your child and her development. Read my tip below to
deepen your awareness of this important truth.

Remember How Important You Are As a Parent

To your child, whether she is 5 months, 15 or 25-years
old, you are one of the most important people in the world. Forget this simple
but profound truth, and you’ll fall short of the positive impact you can make
in your child’s life.

Your actions, your beliefs, your way of doing things,
your words ALL powerfully affect who your child becomes. Without consciously
choosing to do so, your child takes on who you are
. If you’re uptight and stressed much of the time,
this affects your child’s beliefs about life; and he will unknowingly feel
stressed himself.

If you raise your voice and speak angrily to your
child and to others, your child will not only learn to raise her voice and
speak angrily to others. She may feel insecure, resentful and even unloved with
you.

Your child counts on you to be the best person and
best parent you can be. He’s looking to you always for guidance about being a
happy, successful person. Remember that EVERYTHING you do makes an impact in
your child’s life
—either for the
better or the worse. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be as conscious as you
can.

 

You Can Easily Learn to Communicate Clearly and Powerfully with Your Child

Sebastian’s language skills are rapidly increasing.
Lately he’s been saying two-word sentences where nouns become verbs. Popular
examples include: I jeep. I truck. I bike. I tractor. I Connie. I have now
become an action verb! I like that!Seb_june_09

Many of you know that one of the essential parenting
skills I teach is a unique and effective way to use I-statements. Nichola made
a brilliant observation about Sebastian’s language skills, “He really knows how
to use I-statements.”

This powerful way of communicating is good for all of
us. Yet most parents are either unclear how to use I-statements or forget to
use them entirely.

You Can Easily Learn to Communicate Clearly and
Powerfully with Your Child

Imagine what it would be like to be heard by your
child and to have her respond cooperatively and positively!

The good news is that it’s not hard to do. In fact,
it’s much easier than you think!

This is only one of the powerful skills you’ll learn
in my Joyous Parenting Training that begins in November. And just in time to
dramatically decrease your family drama and make the holidays truly special!

Plus I have a special package with valuable bonuses
that is available only until this Friday, October 23.

Create a holiday season where you share the truly
magical delight of loving your family!
Find out more and sign-up, by going here: http://www.JoyWithChildren.com/jpt_special.html


Your Child Counts on You
to take
good care of him. Here’s an empowering tip to help you avoid one of the biggest
mistakes I see parents make!