We live in busy times. Moms and Dads rush around, hoping to complete the tasks on their To Do Lists and trying to eek out a little time for themselves each week while taking care of their child. Their daily pace can feel hectic and overwhelming.

Does this sound familiar?

You matter a lot to your child. Your child cares about you and needs to feel a solid emotional connection with you. Yes, your child needs to be fed, clothed, bathed, and taken to their own activities, but not at the expense of QT with you.

Sometimes you may mistake defiance, sullenness or lack of cooperation as indicators you don’t matter to your child. Nothing can be further from the truth.

In fact, one of the most valuable things you can do to improve your child’s defiance, sullenness or lack of cooperation is to spend Quality Time with her. Everyone knows that QT is essential for your child’s emotional well-being and development, yet most parents struggle just to complete the daily tasks.

But how can you successfully create this time when your life is so busy, and there are so many have-to’s in the day? I’ve discovered there are powerful secrets you can use to guarantee you and your child share this all-important QT together.

Allow me to share with you some actions you can take today to create more Quality Time with your child.

Tip #1 Find ways to be more efficient and effective with your work responsibilities.

Yes, you have lots of responsibilities and things to do. Yet everyone can benefit from being more focused and organized in managing their time and their responsibilities. Choose one thing you will do differently at work to reduce your time commitments. Then use this extra time to have fun with your child.

Tip #2 Consciously leave work at work, even when you work from home.

Here’s a little visualization you can use to help you. Imagine a book that represents your work and career life. At the end of the day, imagine firmly and completely closing this book and leaving it on your desk. If you feel uneasy about this, remind yourself it will be there waiting for you the next day, and consciously choose to leave your work at work.

Then walk out the door and close it behind you. Then on your drive home or your transition between work and family, think about your family. Remind yourself of your love and appreciation for each of them. Then walk in the door and greet them with a warm hug filled with love.

Tip #3 Make your Quality Time together authentic connection time.

Spending time with your child because you ‘should’ is not QT. Your emotional connection needs to be authentic, and not going through the motions. Your child can tell the difference. Focus on making your time together a time of genuine, positive emotional connection.

Tip #4 Make your Quality Time fun for both of you.

QT is not QT when only one of you is enjoying it. Find activities you both enjoy and can take an interest in. Let your curiosity inspire and guide you. Then schedule it in your calendar and make it happen.

Make nourishing your emotional connection with your child your highest priority, and you’ll have moment after moment of Quality Time with your child.

Authentic QT with your child means a quality life for you. Your child has much to offer you, just as you have much to offer your child. Cherish every precious moment!

What kind of parent do you really want to be? A parent who is always happy, smiling, and relaxed? A parent who never gets angry or says or does unkind things to their child? The Father Knows Best or Donna Reed of parenting?

Most parents struggle to meet their own expectations when it comes to being patient and understanding with their child. Most parents I talk with share stories about not handling a situation as they would have liked and then feeling guilty when they didn’t meet their own standards. They promise themselves to try harder and do better next time. This is sounds like a lot of pressure to me.

Many people will tell you that losing your temper and yelling at your child is a normal part of parenting. But, just because almost every parent yells or strikes their child more or less frequently doesn’t mean that it is healthy or desirable or even necessary. It simply means they struggle, like most parents, to understand themselves and their child emotionally.

What I’ve found is when parents are more aware of their own emotions and their emotional connection with their child, interactions become easier, and power struggles and emotional upsets dramatically decrease. In fact, when you’re connected with your own inner natural ability to create a joyous relationship with your child, trying to be patient becomes virtually a thing of the past.

When parents talk about losing their patience with their child, they often say, “It was such a little thing. Why did I get so upset? I hated to see how much I hurt my child.” These are extremely painful experiences and realizations for parents.

It is usually a little thing that triggers your upset, but it is the accumulation of many seemingly insignificant upsets that is the actual cause. Without noticing what’s happening, several frustrating events, thoughts, and interactions occur that begin to gather in your emotional awareness. It is the accumulation of several of these unexplored beliefs, perspectives, and feelings throughout your day that lead to your so-called impatience.

Your stress is often caused by misinformation, unreasonable and misguided expectations, and self-doubt. When you more clearly understand your inner emotional experience and explore your beliefs and fears as a parent, you stop trying to control your temper. You simply respond to each situation as it occurs.

In order to be more naturally patient, you must begin with you. Within you lies the source of your upset. You cannot blame your child for your anger and frustration. This is all about you.

Here are some places you can explore—

1. Pay more attention to what you’re feeling as you go through your day. Just being more aware of your emotional well-being can make a profound difference in your perspectives and your actions.

2. Explore your beliefs, expectations, and fears as a parent. These are the source of your unconscious reactions that result in anger and yelling at your child. When you understand these more clearly, you will naturally and easily become more clear and relaxed.

3. Find or create one special experience for yourself every day. Creating good things for yourself are essential to relate with your child from joy.

When you stop trying to be patient and focus on keeping yourself happy, then your patience becomes a non-issue. Then you simply enjoy being a parent.

When you have more awareness of your inner emotional experience combined with greater clarity about your child and your role as a parent, your natural ability to create a joyous, loving relationship will shine forth. Then you feel the loving joy you always wanted as a parent, and you delight in seeing your child’s magnificence shine brightly.