Today I Give Thanks

Today I give thanks for the blessings
of

My family who love and care for one
another and who truly enjoy being together, who creates together during the fun
times and the hard times

My husband Doug who cherishes who I am
and supports me totally

My son Orion who is a grounded, authentic
presence in my life and who cherishes and loves me deeply 

My daughter-in-heart Nichola who loves
sharing fun things with me, including her precious son

My grandson Sebastian who radiates joy
to me and everyone he meets and who smiles with out-stretched arms when he sees
his Grandma Connie

My mom and dad Frances and Howard who gave me so much that I might enjoy a fulfilling life.

My mother-in-law Viv who welcomed me into her home and her family from Day One and who feels more and more like my mom with every passing day

Orion and Nichola who deeply love Sebastian and who daily make choices to nurture his emotional wholeness

The opportunity to share my ideas with
parents and educators
who deeply care about the emotional well-being of
children

The opportunity to make life better
for children and their families, to have children trust and love themselves and
life, to make our world a more beautiful, human-loving place

My Dear and Precious Friends who authentically love and encourage me to cherish exactly who I am

Our spectacularly beautiful Mother Earth who teems with life, sustains us and gives us much to discover and enjoy

And for an amazing, delightful life I give thanks.

 

 

 

Innovation in Education

School has such a strong influence in children’s lives. It can either help them flourish as
autonomous, self-reliant individuals or it can diminish who they are by
teaching them to conform and to focus on pleasing others.

Recently I had
the pleasure to meet with Percy Abram, the head of Gateway School, a
progressive K – 8 school in Santa Cruz, CA. When I arrive, the school is abuzz
with activity and enthusiasm. I am struck by the beautiful outdoor environment adjoining
the ocean. The spacious areas are filled with child-friendly climbing and play
equipment, students’ projects and a school garden anticipating the arrival of
winter.

Inside, the
walls are decorated with colorful, intriguing children’s projects. Everywhere
you look the school invites you to participate, to touch and to explore. This
is a place for children
. It calls to the child in me to see what I can
discover.

A special
annual second grade project, the ofrenda, celebrates El Dia de los Muertos, the
Day of the Dead,
which falls on October 30 every year, the day before Halloween. The word ofrenda
means offering in Spanish. They are also called altares or
altars, but they are not for worshiping. Ofrendas are set up
to remember and honor the memory of their ancestors.

Children
and adults from all grades contribute hand-made skeletons and photos of departed
pets, family and friends. There are sugar skulls and chili pepper lights. Below are photos.

Imagine
what it is like for a young person who attends a school like this. Their
individuality, creativity, and authentic self-expression are encouraged and
supported
. A school like Gateway makes a positive contribution to a child’s
life that lasts a life time.

Imagine
what it is like for a child whose day and behavior is tightly controlled and
structured.
Where there is little opportunity or encouragement for
self-expression. Where doing and thinking what you are told is required for “success.”
Where the emphasis is on grades and passing a battery of tests during the year.
The impact of this school also lasts a lifetime.

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The Five Most Common Mistakes Parents Make

  1. Parents talk more than they
    listen.

  1. Parents worry about the little
    stuff and neglect the important stuff.

  1. Parents say “No” too often.

  1. Parents don’t take care of
    themselves.
     
  1. Parents try to manage their
    child’s behavior instead of empowering their child’s emotional wholeness and trust in herself.
     

No Fear, No Shame

The other
day I was taking care of my 14-month-old grandson Sebastian. We have a large
wall hanging in our living room of a beautiful group of horses looking over a
fence.

As I watched
Sebastian point to the wall hanging and loudly imitate the horses’ nickering
sound I have shared with him, I was suddenly struck by his confidence,
certainty, and feeling of safety in life
. I realized he shows no signs of fear
or shame. He trusts his mommie and daddy. He trusts me. He trusts life. This explains
his boldness, his confidence, and his openness..

Trust is a
fragile quality in a child, in all of us. When we trust, we feel open to life.
Trust allows us to be fully present to the people in our life. Trust frees us
to experience our innate joy and love.

Without
meaning to, parents and educators unknowingly do and say things that damage a
child’s ability to trust.
To trust himself. To trust us. To trust life.

How can you
tell when you’ve unintentionally lessened a child’s feeling of trust? Look at
her. Listen to him. They are telling you, and it is important that you listen.

 

 

 

 

The Price of Too Much Authority

“Downfall” is an intense,
historically-authentic film
about Hitler’s last days in his Berlin bunker. It’s
based on the documentary Blind Spot: Hitler’s Secretary, in which the German
dictator’s stenographer, Traudl Junge, tells her story of these emotionally
intense days.

What most touched me about the film
is the price paid in human clarity, compassion, and free will when someone
takes on the role of The Authoritarian and others submissively follow. When
people around the world reflect back on the events in Nazi Germany, they often
feel confused and appalled that a bright, educated people could allow the
atrocities committed in their name.

This film makes it powerfully clear.
It’s all about too much authority. When children are taught to follow
instructions and to obey their elders, the people in authority in their life,
they stop thinking for themselves. They lose their autonomy and independence
and easily succumb to doing what they are told, even when it goes against their
own inner sense of right and wrong.

There are powerfully dramatic
moments in the film that demonstrate the disconnect people have from their own
emotional wholeness when they unthinkingly give up their power and seniority to
someone to has obviously lost touch with reality. People urgently clinging to
the hope that Hitler will find a way out. People carrying out his orders to
fight to the last man even when circumstances indicate it is hopeless.

Even more poignant were the
suicides
, couples shooting each other, a mother poisoning her own children.
People partying and drinking as if everything were safe and normal.

All of these people were grown,
capable adults who continued their childhood pattern of doing what they were
told and not thinking for themselves.

For his part, Hitler was a
demanding, self-consumed little boy in an adult body who refused to accept the
downfall of his regime. He expected blind and total obedience, even after he
and his wife committed suicide together and left his closest followers and the
people of Germany to fend for themselves as Russian troops took over Berlin. He
was blinded by his own need to win and control.

The message to parents and educators
is to be aware and cautious of the obedience you seek to extract from your
children and students.
No one wins in a scenario of authoritarianism and
control by adults.

Naturally, parental and educator over-use of power seldom results in such extreme actions by young people; however, the cost to children and their caregiver are still high. Children’s natural brilliance and self-confidence is
diminished. Their ability to think for themselves and be true to themselves is
compromised. Plus you place yourself in the position of leader without always
knowing what you’re doing and where you’re going.

I highly recommend this movie “Downfall.”
There are a few vivid scenes, which can turn your stomach, yet it’s really
worth watching when you study what’s happening psychologically
and the
emotional damage caused by too much authority based on fear. This movie is not
for children or the faint of heart.