Old-Time Parenting Advice

As Doug and I prepare for our trip to Moscow and Kyrgyzstan, we have been
reading a book about Peter the Great and life in tsarist Russia. In this
book, there was a quote from the Domostroi, a collection of rules written in
the mid-1500’s for everyday life for merchants and nobles.

“Punish your son when he is young, and he will give you rest
in your old age and will bring contentment to your soul. Do not weaken in
beating the lad; for if you beat him with a stick he will not die, but will
rather be healthier, since by beating his body you save his soul from death.”

Whew! This is intense. It is interesting to me to see
diverse philosophies about how to raise children. Today, most people believe
this approach from the mid-1500’s is appalling and would never consider
treating children in this manner.

However, there are still people who believe hitting a child
will teach her right from wrong and to respect her authority figures. They see
nothing inconsistent about hitting a child as a means to teach him not to hit.
Then they are intolerant of this child for being mean and hurtful toward others
even though that is how they treat their child. The other possibility is their
child will withdraw, have physical health concerns or develop emotional problems,
such as difficulty focusing or shyness.

Here are some modern-days quotes from people who believe hitting a child is a good idea. A man in Tennessee says, "Punish little children when they misbehave, not to the point of abuse, but warm their little bottoms up. That should be the only place you hit."

This from a woman in Ohio, "A little swat on the leg sometimes corrects dangerous behaviors. The law should understand the difference between abuse and discipline."

Lastly, from a man in Ohio, "I had a few slaps on the wrist growing up, which probably kep me out of trouble and on the path to becoming a physician."

Parents, educators and society need to question what causes
“inappropriate” or troublesome behavior in children. These do not happen
because of a personality flaw in the child. What we do affects our children
greatly. For the emotional wellness of children and of our society, we must
remember this. We must take actions that empower our children, rather than beat
them down or limit them.

Where do you stand on this issue?