School is a High-Pressure Activity for Children

Children are natural learners as witnessed by their amazing ability to learn to walk, talk, reason, figure things out, imagine new realities – all by the age of 3 and without the benefit of a ‘credentialed teacher.’ Children are naturally curious and are hard-wired to learn and to want to learn.

Yet research shows that by 3rd grade most children have lost their love of learning, their innate drive to learn. Why is this? What happens in school that makes it limiting of chilldren’s natural desires and abilities?

Schools get a lot of criticism these days, mostly because students are not learning so we’re placing more pressure on schools to produce academically. Schools feel the need to teach to the test, everyone working toward the seemingly all-important test scores.

Yet I believe that the biggest determiner of a child’s ability to learn and ultimately succeed in life is their Emotional Wholeness, their emotional well-being, their confidence, connection with themselves and others, and their love of learning, not their grades or test scores.

Schools place demands, expectations and challenging situations on children, which take them away from their natural abilities to learn. I’m concerned that many of the ‘high expectations’ can actually be a deterrent to a child’s happiness and ability and desire to learn.

The other day I started thinking about all the ways that children feel pressure by participation in school. Here are the ones I’ve thought of so far and not in any particular order. Please add your own to this list.

Important Note: I am not saying these apply to all schools. There are many innovative, child-centered programs. Still, I believe all of the following are cause for concern.

~ Dealing with lots of people and social interaction within a relatively small space, aka ‘crowding’

~ Have to sit in desks, uninteresting circle times for often long periods of time – even if you love to move, need to move to learn and be happy.

~ Pressure to conform and fit in with her peers so it is difficult to be himself

~ Expectations to learn information up to specified standard within a given time frame, whether it is interesting to you or not, whether it is easy or difficult

~ Expectations to master skills and information even when not developmentally ready

~ Pressure to earn high grades from teachers and fellow students

~ Interactions with other children that can be hurtful, abusive, or isolating, all of whom are struggling with their own emotional challenges

~ Expected to do what the teacher tells him, even if it makes no sense

~ Little time for social interactions and communication with other children or adults

~ Most schools teach to children who naturally have linguistic, aka reading and language, and who have mathematical intelligences. If this is not a child’s natural learning style, school becomes difficult and unfulfilling.

~ Lots of homework in the evening, which means limited time to play, be a child, and listen to herself

~ Demanded to conform to someone else’s predetermined schedule

~ Rushing to get out the door in the morning

~ School-related issues often result in conflict and angry words with Mom and Dad, which is deeply painful to everyone, and creates distance and mistrust between child and people he loves and cares about the most

~ School and homework takes up much of a child’s day, leaving little time to relax, do nothing, enjoy being a kid, enjoy Dad and Mom

~ Short periods during the school day to play and be a child, to explore and be who you are

~ Children are expected to listen more than to talk and express themselves

~ Children come to believe that failing in school reflects on their capability and worth as a person, so struggling in school often affects children’s self-esteem and self-confidence
So what are the pressures you see in your child and feel in your home? What are the biggest difficulties and challenges you and your child experience connected with school? I’d love to have you share them with me below!

Are you struggling or concerned about a school-related issue?If you’d like some new ideas and strategies that will help you resolve these challenges, check out my new teleclass series : “The Fast Track to Solving the Day-to-Day Challenges of Helping Your Child Succeed in School.”