Myth-Busting Bullying: The Heart and Soul of Bullying

Do you ever stop to consider why kids do and say such mean things to each other? Most parents I talk with about this question shrug their shoulders and reply, ‘I don’t’ know” and dismiss them as ‘mean kids.’

If you’ve been following this series, you know the bully is not the ‘bad guy.’ I find when you simplify things to their most basic and most essential, you discover there are two underlying causes to the bullying trouble.

Here is the last in the series:

Every Child is Vulnerable to Bullying

I hope you’ve been enjoying my videos about bullying and that you’ve discovered new insights about some of the myths and causes of bullying.

You may believe that your child is doing fine socially and that bullying is unlikely to be a problem for her. Yet the painful truth is about 77% of children experience bullying of some kind -there are four different kinds – and almost 60% of children who are bullied never tell anyone, not even their parents.

Every child is vulnerable to being bullied. I see a few reasons for this.

First, as a human being, your child naturally needs and wants relationship and connection with others. Because of this, he is sensitive to how others treat him, what others think and say about him, whether that is kind and accepting or if it is abusive and shaming.

Secondly, your child may tolerate being abused to fit in and be included. Just to feel he has some connection with others. He may choose to give up his own power because of how he has learned to survive in relationship with others.

Thirdly, our society doesn’t really acknowledge or understand emotions very well. As parents, educators and society, we don’t know how to recognize emotional problems or how to respond. Almost everyone wrestles with finding emotional well-being. This applies to your child and everyone in his world. Thus, the possibility of an emotionally hurting child doing something abusive to your child.

As a parent who really wants to be a good parent, I know you want to do the very best for your child and to help him have the inner strength to either prevent being bullied or to respond to it in a way that empowers him.

In my teleclass next week “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens,” you’ll learn how to help your child be:

  • so emotionally healthy and resilient he is not a good target. His feelings of internal power and self-respect are intact. He knows who he is, feels self-confident, and is not easily intimidated or belittled by others.
  • so emotionally strong and empowered within she have no need to bully others to prove herself
  • so connected to her own inner strength and compassion for others she make kind, courageous choices to be kind to others.

If you want this for your child, I invite you to join us next Wednesday, September 25 to discover new insights and tools to help your child be bully-proof from the inside out. This class is affordable and parent-friendly.

Click here now to sign-up or to get more info

Remember, even if you’re busy that night, you can still get this life-changing information for yourself and your child. The call will be recorded, and I will send the recording shortly after the class, plus a transcript of the call shortly a few days later.
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If you haven’t had a chance to watch the first five videos in the series, here are the links:

Myth-Busting Bullying: How Big a Problem Is It Really?

Myth-Busting Bullying: What’s It Really All About?

Myth-Busting Bullying:The Bully is Not the Bad Guy

Myth-Busting Bullying: These Strategies Don’t Work

Myth-Busting Bullying: These Strategies Don’t Work

Just a quick note to let you know I’ve posted  new videos in my series “Myth-Busting Bullying.” I hope you have had chance to watch the first three in the series. If not, I’ve listed the links to those videos at the end of this email.

The Good News about bullying is that many parents, educators and community leaders care deeply about the high price of bullying to a child’s self-esteem and are taking action to try to stop this problem that keeps growing.

The Bad News is that many of their efforts are based on faulty understanding about children, bullying, it’s causes and what to do about it. Well-intentioned experts are doing the best they can, yet much of their attention is on the ‘bully” and the “bystanders,’ and their strategies are often based on false assumptions about how to prevent bullying.

In today’s two videos, I share 3 common strategies to stop bullying between children, yet each one has limited effectiveness.

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If you have questions or concerns about bullying and you want practical, do-able strategies that work, you’ll love my class “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens.”

Click here to get more info and register now!

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If you haven’t had a chance to watch the first two videos in the series, here are the links:

Myth-Busting Bullying: How Big a Problem Is It Really?

Myth-Busting Bullying: What’s It Really All About?

Myth-Busting Bullying:The Bully is Not the Bad Guy

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Here is the first video:  Myth-Busting Bullying: These Strategies Don’t Work

Here is the 2nd video: Myth-Busting Bullying: Make More Rules and Policies?

Mythbusting Bullying: How Big a Problem Is It Really?

“Bullying” is one of the topics you’ve most requested I talk about, and now I’m doing it!

The topic of bullying is fraught with worry and concern about your child as well as what you can do to prevent it and how to best respond when it does happen.

No parent wants their child to feel the humiliation and shame of being bullied. Neither do parents want their child to be the bully or the one who stands by and watches it happen. Yet it always happens outside parents’ reach and influence. Parents are not around; they don’t see it happening and cannot immediately intervene. This can leave  you feeling powerless and uncertain.

As I observe and research how we as a culture are responding to this problem, I’ve uncovered lots of myths and misconceptions about the causes of bullying and what to do about it.

Over the next 3 weeks in a series of short videos, I’m going to share with you some of these myths and misconceptions about bullying so you can make more informed choices how you want to best support your child to be neither the bully, the victim, or the bystander in this escalating problem.

I was going to include this information in my teleclass, but I want to give you the first part of my class for FREE. Bullying is such a complex topic and I have so much I want to share with you, I decided to make this information available to everyone in this video series.

Save the Date!

My new teleclass; “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens” is later this month.

Date: Wednesday, September 25

Time: 5:30 – 7 pm Pacific (9:30 – 11 Eastern)

Be sure to save the date in your calendar.

Below is the first in the series.

What are your biggest concerns about bullying? Let me know in Comments.!

 

Your Child is NOT the Cause of Your Frustration

This is a gentle reminder about my one-time-only teleclass tonight: “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child.”

I just received an email from a mom in our community who wondered about something I said in my last email.

What I wrote: “When you increase your awareness of what is stirring up your anger — it is NOT your child — then you begin to have needed awareness and strategies to calm to your inner emotional fire.”

Her question – Is this really true? “I’m curious why the child isn’t a potential source of the [parent’s} emotional response.”

This is certainly how it feels. Your anger and frustration seem to be caused by your child’s behavior. Yet, by stopping here and not questioning this belief or your anger, you miss important insights about yourself and your part in your repetitive frustrations with your child.

You really are in charge of your emotional responses, as hard to understand as that may be. It’s all about perception. Your child is NOT the source of your anger.

This is exactly what we are going to discuss tonight in the teleclass:

  • Why you really are the one responsible for your feelings of frustration
  • What are the real sources of your anger and frustration
  • How to take responsibility for your own emotional upsets
  • Specific, concrete strategies to deal with these real sources of your frustration.
  • Communication skills to prevent future upsets and make amends for your actions.

I have consistently found the most important and first place to put your attention is on yourself…as annoying as that may be. It is your only true, long-term source of power and positive influence with your child and your happiness.

Want to learn more about this personally empowering approach to handling your emotional upsets about your child?

Great! I invite you to join us for our call tonight “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child.” If you can’t be on the call live, sign-up and you’ll have the audio recording by tomorrow morning.

Click here now to take action and sign-up.