Back to Basics

When Doug and I were ending our fun, relaxing adventure in Vietnam several weeks ago, I looked forward to easing back into our life in California. No push, simply enjoying.

But this was not to be. A series of unexpected events – getting sick from the food on the flight home, complications purchasing the ranch where we board our horses, and a very sick, much-loved kitty – all combined to make for a hugely stressful, painful time for me. I am just now beginning to get my feet under me and in a stronger, more joyous way.

During those overwhelming days, I discovered a lot about myself, my beliefs and fears, and how I live my life, some that were not so fun to look at. The bottom line is I have chosen to get back to basics, to what’s really important to me, and to lay an even more solid foundation for myself.

You see, what really matters most to me is to have fun, be happy, live true to who I am, and to deeply enjoy and cherish the much-loved people in my life.

Losing our precious Momma Kat brought me to my knees and taught me so much. During her lifetime, she chose to move from being a feral cat who barely let us see her, to having kittens in our tack room at the ranch, to her living contentedly in our home with us. Our time together was filled with powerful, heart-touching memories.

Yet there were too many times I took her for granted, didn’t pet her as much as we both wanted, didn’t make the time. And now she’s gone…no more second chances or tomorrows. Makes my heart hurt.

I spent many loving, heart-fulfilling hours with her during the last 11 years and especially during those last few weeks as she purred contentedly . Now I’m learning to accept the missed opportunities and to treasure our memories and time shared. What a precious kitty she was!

I don’t want to repeat this pattern again! Throughout the years, I’ve done this too many times, suddenly losing someone dear to me and feeling I didn’t enjoy and love them enough while they were still here.

I am a creative person. I love imagining and creating fun experiences. I love all the wondrousness of life! Yet, too often, those joyous ‘to do’s’ become ‘have to’s’, the joy gone, and I’m not present with my loved ones as much as I truly want.

I observe most of us go through life believing there will be a tomorrow. That our wonderful son, daughter, partner, parent, ourselves, will still be here tomorrow. Just as they are today.

But life doesn’t work like that. None us truly know what the next moment will bring. We anesthetize ourselves to this reality by ignoring it, assuming someone, a way of life will still be there when we awaken the next day.

I’m taking an honest look at my life. What matters most to me. Who and what would I most miss or regret if it were gone in the next breath?

At the top of my list are my happiness and  my wonderful family, including our kitty Cassie and our horses Destiny and Echo, and I’m making these a full-on priority.

It’s so easy to be busy. To fill our lives, our children’s lives, our partners lives with things to do and people to see. It’s so easy to take loved ones for granted, to tolerate things and situations we don’t really enjoy or that diminish our aliveness, to get caught in unwanted patterns that repeat over and over.

We thought . . . life by analogy was a journey, was a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end. And the thing was to get to that end. Success, or whatever it is, or maybe heaven after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing, and you were supposed to sing, or to dance, while the music was being played. – Alan Watts

I invite you to join me in ‘singing and dancing while the music plays. and asking the really important questions.

What matters most to you?  Whom do you want to love and treasure more? What are you going to do differently to live your life more fully? 

 

3 Simple Tips to Have More Love in Your Family

In This Issue

Personal Note from Connie

New Article: “3 Simple Tips to Have More Love with Your Family”

Connie Recommends: Parenting Solutions Teleclasses
Watch for more information next week.

Personal Note from Connie

My big news for today is my new Parenting Solutions Teleclasses begin in March. I’ve been planning these for several months, and I feel now is the time.

There will be one teleclass monthly that will teach you results-driven strategies and skills about a specific area of challenge or concern for parents. Each class will include both information and extensive time for questions.

In case you don’t know, a teleclass is a class given over the phone and is somewhat like a conference call. You dial into a number (not toll-free) and then enter a special pin code. Once on the call, you can share your observations and questions and listen to everyone else.

The first teleclass will be on Tuesday, March 12 in the evening. Be sure to save the date!

The topic will be the most-requested challenge in my survey last November. I’ll tell you what it is next week, and I’ll be sharing valuable f.ree information prior to the class itself.

Watch for my announcement next week!

Happy trails!

To your Joyous Family!

Connie

P.S. A big, warm welcome to all our new readers! I look forward to getting to know you.

P.P.S. Do you know someone who is passionate about being a good parent or who might like a little help to create a more harmonious, fun, and easy relationship with their child? If so, would you please forward this email on to her?

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New Article: “3 Simple Tips to Have More Love with Your Family”

In honor of Valentine’s Day tomorrow and because I know we can all enjoy a little more love with our family, here are 3 simple actions you can begin today to make every day Valentine’s Day.

Tip #1: Every day think of one quality or skill you appreciate in each person in your family. Then pause for a few moments to enjoy how delightful you feel to enjoy this special quality of this person you love.

It can be as mundane as “I appreciate that my husband does the dishes every day” to as profound as “I love seeing how comfortable my son is being himself.”

Whatever you think of, be sure it’s something that genuinely feels good to you and then enjoy it in your heart. Hint: You will notice a smile lighting up your face.

Tip #2: Do one thing every day that will please at least one other person in your family.

Be sure to do this without any expectation of what the response will be. Simply do it because it feels good to you to express your love through your actions.

Sometimes these actions may be simple, such as getting someone’s favorite flavor of ice cream when you’re at the store, and others more complex and involved, such as planning a surprise outing.

Tip #3: Most important of all, do one thing for yourself everyday that makes you feel good.

Maybe it’s dancing to your favorite song, a night out to see a move, or even a day adventure by yourself. It could even be 10 minutes admiring your garden or listening to the birds.

Often the most simple can be the most magical and fulfilling.

There you have it! 3 simple, totally-do-able actions you can take to create more love in your family. If tackling all 3 at once seems like too much, then start with one of these tips. Do it for a week or two until it becomes a part of your life and then add the second one of your choosing.

Having more loving feelings and interactions with your family is not really that complicated.

If you’re having trouble with any one of these, be gentle with yourself and begin at a simple level.

For example, if your teenage son has been frustrating and difficult for what seems like forever, it’s probably going to take some digging to think of even one thing you can appreciate about him. Choose something small like the color of his eyes or a memory from childhood.

Simple small actions can create amazing beauty and joy in your family. Simply look at the mountains to see what simple small actions can create.

Joyous Valentines Day to you and your family!

What are you going to do? Let me know in the Comments below!
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Connie Recommends: Parenting Solutions Teleclasses

Monthly teleclasses focusing on important parenting challenges and concerns.

The first one is Tuesday, March 12 at 6:30 Pacific Time. Be sure to mark your calendars. I promise it will be on a topic of importance to every parent. You won’t want to miss it!

Watch for more information next week.