The Most Important Parenting Question

I have a new video for you today that has the power to “rock your world” as my friend Isabel likes to say and in a profoundly positive way.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with all the things you need to pay attention to as a parent?

Do you ever wonder if you are on the right track as a parent or if there is something more your child needs and wants to develop fully, to be happy, self-confident and self-reliant?

Today’s video will help you cut through all the chatter and conflicting parenting ideas out there. This is the parenting question that is intrinsic to all other parenting questions. It underlies all parenting decisions you make.

Enjoy!

Let me know what you think, and if you like this video, please tell others!

Secret to Being More Patient with Your Child

I hope you and your family are enjoying the start of summer! My husband and I are deeply into a remodel of our home – the offices and bedroom – all of which have closets with lots of stuff. It’s expanded into a bigger project than we anticipated — doesn’t it often? — and we are making good progress and love how it is looking.

Today’s Video

Every parent gets frustrated and angry with their child from time to time, and you say or do something you later regret. What makes the difference in its impact on your child and in your relationship are how frequently you become upset and how intensely.

It’s important to remember how emotionally sensitive your child is. Yes, even your surly teen. In fact, your child is probably more aware of your up-tightness than you are. What you say and do affects your child’s self-confidence and his connection with you more deeply than you probably realize. This one is crucial!

Today’s short video gives you the most important step to being more patient with your child. Without this step, you will continually try to control and manage your anger without getting to its root causes and making the long term changes you desire.

If you have any questions, please let me know. I love hearing from you and want you and your child to love your joyous time together! Write your question in the ‘Comment’ section or send me an email.

Perfect Parenting or Joy!

I did it! The first video in my Joyous Parenting Video Series is up and ready for you to enjoy! I’m excited to make my next one and hopefully will have it up before all of my travels begin next week.

It’s only 3 minutes long so you can easily find time for it in your busy day.

In this video, I mention lines in the recording. As it turns out, the lines mostly show in the recording phase and not in the viewing phase so you probably will not see many lines. Part of my learning curve.

If you feel others in your network would find this information useful, please share it with people you know and care about. Thanks!

If you want to be among the first to know when I make new videos, be sure to subscribe to my blog by entering your email in the far right column under the social networking links where it says “Subscribe by email.” Or you can use Feedburner.

As you may recall, I am beginning a series of travel adventures next week. I plan to post updates of my travels on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. So if this sounds like fun, you can sign up to ‘follow me’ from my blog also. This way you can share my adventures with me. That would be fun!

In what ways are you trying to be perfect as a parent? Feel free to share your experience in the comment section.

Looking forward…

I hope you and your family are doing wonderfully, and you have fun, fulfilling experiences planned for 2012. A lot has happened since I last wrote to you, and I will give you a brief update. Then I’ll share what I have planned for you. Plus a new article on my blog.

My most meaningful news is I have become clear I must share the information I am called to share about bringing out the best in children. My sabbatical is over. I honestly don’t see anyone else out there sharing the insights I have in the way I share them. I LOVE supporting children and parents. So expect to be hearing a lot more from me.

My family continues to flourish. Grandchildren Sebastian and Madison enjoy their lives and are eager to interact and connect. They are such a delight. And we all keep getting closer and closer. Sweetness!

I also have a 3-week international adventure coming up in April to Jordan and Turkey. This time I am traveling with a friend. I’ll share more about this later.

I also want to tell you about my kitty Cassie who is such a joyous part of my life. She is doing well now and last week was seriously ill. I really wondered if she were going to make it or would be critically ill for a long time. Fortunately, the problem was fixable—a section of her intestine was blocked with the accumulation of long hair.

Such a relief she is doing much better now! Choosing to do the required surgery was for her and for me. I want her in my life. Now I just need to keep her contained and not licking her incision until she heals. She’s starting to think she’s all ok. 🙂

Here’s what is coming for YOU!

First, I will soon be posting video parenting tips on my blog, filled with useful ideas and valuable insights you can use immediately in connecting with your child. If my relationship with technology holds, you will begin to see these next week.

Second, during the coming year I will give a series of low-cost, over-the-phone teleclasses on those topics I have learned from parents are common parenting challenges.

In a couple of days, I will post a list of topics and ask for your feedback about which will help you the most. What are your biggest challenges and concerns as a parent? You might think about this between now and then. I appreciate any info you can give me so I can make the most difference for you.

In case you haven’t already seen it, here is a short article I just posted to my blog. “Another High School Shooting…Are You Paying Attention?” I recommend you read it, even if your child is not a teen. There is useful information here for children of all ages.

Children Learn Best with ‘Real Toys’

Do you ever feel swamped in plastic toys that have a way of multiplying when you turn your back?

Then they hold your child’s attention only moments until he is on to the next thing?

Most children have too many toys in general; and most of these toys do not encourage or support children’s optimum play.

Webster defines a ‘toy’ as “an object, often a small representation of something familiar for children to play with; a plaything.” I find this definition somewhat limiting, especially when the definition of ‘play’ is “an activity engaged in for recreation, as by children.”

Children do have fun playing; however, for them it is more than simple recreation. Play is serious business for them.

Play is the way children learn, which means children love and enjoy learning. This is their natural state, a perpetual state of exploring, experimenting, and discovering, and learning. They LOVE it!!

(This is important to remember when we see what happens to children’s love of learning when they participate in most educational programs. I wrote more about this in a recent post How Children Learn Best) http://www.joyousfamilyliving.com/children/how-children-learn-best/

Because play is essential to their optimal development, it is important to provide learning environments that nurtures your child’s full potential to learn. This is where ‘real toys’ come in.

Real toys are real-life objects, such as measuring spoons and cups, lids, jars, rocks, bungee cords. Often the seemingly mundane of objects of life hold great fascination for them.

Older children love much the same materials. What’s different is the complexity and skill with which they use them.

If you observe your child when he is playing, you’ll discover the skills he is developing that motivate him to keep learning.

One of Bas’s favorite activities is collecting things from my desk and seeing what he can create with them. These include my stapler and staple puller, scratch paper, 3 by 5 cards, scissors, tape, pens, markers.

Last week in our backyard, he balanced bricks on a piece of wood, then used it as a lever, then used what he’d made to build a house for Mouse-Mouse. (I’m not sure where he got this name.)

Fifteen minutes later, he’s in another section of our backyard and using redwood needles to build a castle, which he promptly destroyed. Then he decided to build a bridge across a narrow rut using a redwood twig and discovered that it was too short to span the distance.

Then he hunted around and found a couple of longer sticks. Woo-la! He built two bridges!

And so it goes from one exploration – creation to the next and not a single plastic ‘toy’ touched!

Children love real objects. They love materials they can manipulate and which they can use in diverse ways.

Traditional toys, plastic toys, often lack options for creativity and self-expression. They have limited function and learning potential to your child. Once she masters whatever learning is in the toy, she loses interest.

Once you realize your child uses toys for discovery and self-expression, you’ll easily understand your child’s limited attention to these toys.

So next time you consider buying your child something from the toy store, no matter how cute, colorful, or invitingly displayed, take a moment and consider it’s learning and self-expression potential for your child. Many buttons that make different sounds has little potential for either learning or self-expression for your child.

Invest wisely in few toys that give your child hours of exploring and discovery, and remember every-day objects provide optimal learning and self-expression for your child. You can put your wallet away!

While you’re at it, tell your family and friends what you toys you want for your child, especially during the holidays and for his birthday.

Please share with me and other parents what ‘real toys’ your child loves best. What is a toy you purchased for her that enjoyed for a long time? What did she lose interest in quickly?