Myth-Busting Bullying:The Bully is Not the ‘Bad’ Guy

September 12, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Bullying is so intricately tied to how we relate to one another, how we perceive one another, that it is important for every parent to have a clear understanding of the dynamics and causes of bullying.

Today’s video introduces key insights into the relationship between the ‘bully’ and ‘victim’ and how we as parents, educators and society respond to this limiting dynamic.

You’ll discover new ways of perceiving and understanding the relationships between all people of all ages, including your own painful beliefs about situations where you have been bullied..

The video is below.

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If you’d like to know what you can do to empower your child to be more confident with her peers and in other social situations, I invite you to join me for my new teleclass “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens.”

This video series about Myth-Busting Bullying is the beginning content of the class in which you will discover:

  • A major cause of bullying that most experts overlook. You will be surprised!
  • Strategies to empower your child socially so she is less vulnerable to being bullied
  • The most important thing you can do to support your child to tell you when he’s been bullied. This is SO important!
  • How to best help your child respond to bullying – what works and what doesn’t

Click here to register and get more info.

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If you haven’t had a chance to watch the first two videos in the series, here are the links:

Myth-Busting Bullying: How Big a Problem Is It Really?

Myth-Busting Bullying: What’s It Really All About?

Has anyone ever told you that you were doing something ‘bad,’ and you were just doing the best you could at the time? Let us know in Comments below.

Filed Under: Children, Current Affairs, Education, Grandparenting, Parenting, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Myth-Busting Bullying: What’s It Really All About?

September 10, 2013 By Leave a Comment

I hope you’ve had a chance to watch the first video in my series about “Myth-Busting Bullying. If you didn’t get to watch it, here it is again:

Myth-Busting Bullying: How Big a Problem is It Really?

If bullying is a concern for you and you’d like to know what you can do – Yes! You can make a big difference for your child! – I invite you to sign-up for my new teleclass “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens.”

This class is on Wednesday, September 25. I promise you will come away with more clarity and feeling empowered by what you can do immediately to help bully-proof your child.

Click here to sign-up and get more info.

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The 2nd video in my series “Myth-Busting Bullying: What’s It Really All About?“, explores the following areas:

  • a good working definition of bullying
  • the four types of bullying
  • the places where bullying occurs
  • the bottom line of what bullying is really all about.

In this short video (less than 5 minutes), you’ll be surprised by what you discover, and it will give you some new ways of perceiving and thinking about bullying.

What experiences have you or someone you love had with bullying? Please share in Comments.

 

 

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Mythbusting Bullying: How Big a Problem Is It Really?

September 7, 2013 By Leave a Comment

“Bullying” is one of the topics you’ve most requested I talk about, and now I’m doing it!

The topic of bullying is fraught with worry and concern about your child as well as what you can do to prevent it and how to best respond when it does happen.

No parent wants their child to feel the humiliation and shame of being bullied. Neither do parents want their child to be the bully or the one who stands by and watches it happen. Yet it always happens outside parents’ reach and influence. Parents are not around; they don’t see it happening and cannot immediately intervene. This can leave  you feeling powerless and uncertain.

As I observe and research how we as a culture are responding to this problem, I’ve uncovered lots of myths and misconceptions about the causes of bullying and what to do about it.

Over the next 3 weeks in a series of short videos, I’m going to share with you some of these myths and misconceptions about bullying so you can make more informed choices how you want to best support your child to be neither the bully, the victim, or the bystander in this escalating problem.

I was going to include this information in my teleclass, but I want to give you the first part of my class for FREE. Bullying is such a complex topic and I have so much I want to share with you, I decided to make this information available to everyone in this video series.

Save the Date!

My new teleclass; “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens” is later this month.

Date: Wednesday, September 25

Time: 5:30 – 7 pm Pacific (9:30 – 11 Eastern)

Be sure to save the date in your calendar.

Below is the first in the series.

What are your biggest concerns about bullying? Let me know in Comments.!

 

Filed Under: Children, Current Affairs, Education, Grandparenting, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Your Child is NOT the Cause of Your Frustration

June 10, 2013 By Leave a Comment

This is a gentle reminder about my one-time-only teleclass tonight: “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child.”

I just received an email from a mom in our community who wondered about something I said in my last email.

What I wrote: “When you increase your awareness of what is stirring up your anger — it is NOT your child — then you begin to have needed awareness and strategies to calm to your inner emotional fire.”

Her question – Is this really true? “I’m curious why the child isn’t a potential source of the [parent’s} emotional response.”

This is certainly how it feels. Your anger and frustration seem to be caused by your child’s behavior. Yet, by stopping here and not questioning this belief or your anger, you miss important insights about yourself and your part in your repetitive frustrations with your child.

You really are in charge of your emotional responses, as hard to understand as that may be. It’s all about perception. Your child is NOT the source of your anger.

This is exactly what we are going to discuss tonight in the teleclass:

  • Why you really are the one responsible for your feelings of frustration
  • What are the real sources of your anger and frustration
  • How to take responsibility for your own emotional upsets
  • Specific, concrete strategies to deal with these real sources of your frustration.
  • Communication skills to prevent future upsets and make amends for your actions.

I have consistently found the most important and first place to put your attention is on yourself…as annoying as that may be. It is your only true, long-term source of power and positive influence with your child and your happiness.

Want to learn more about this personally empowering approach to handling your emotional upsets about your child?

Great! I invite you to join us for our call tonight “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child.” If you can’t be on the call live, sign-up and you’ll have the audio recording by tomorrow morning.

Click here now to take action and sign-up.

 

Filed Under: Children, Grandparenting, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Are You Secretly Hoping for a ‘Perfect’ Child?

June 7, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Becoming impatient with your child is not something you think about. It’s something that seems to happen out of nowhere when your child does something you don’t like, something that doesn’t fit your idea of how and who he should be.

Your impatience occurs because an emotion is triggered within you, and you react. You cannot think your way to controlling your temper and managing your reactivity. You have to explore, observe, and feel your way to greater inner awareness and clarity.

In my coaching with parents, I’ve discovered many parents secretly hope for a ‘perfect’ child. A child who is always cooperative and does what you say instantly, and he does it happily.

Raising a ‘perfect’ child certainly seems like it would make parenting so much easier. There would be no conflict. She would always say and do the right things. He’d easily be nice and get along with everyone. You would be such a proud parent.

Sounds a little silly, right? You want your child to be the human being he is. The perfect child would get a little boring, and you’d begin to wonder what’s going on with your child…after months of enjoying his perfection. 🙂

Joking aside, the reality is that every time you feel impatient with you’re unconsciously wishing your child were different, were more the way you believe he should be. You’re resisting the reality of who he is right now.

Of course, you have to have structure and your needs and wants matter. Right now, I’m pointing out a possible source of your frustration.

Obviously, your child is a unique, whole, separate person.

Obviously, your child is going to have her own opinion and ways of doing things.

The next time you feel resistant and annoyed with what your child is doing, see if you can pause, take a deep breath, and notice what you believe your ‘perfect’ child should do. See if you can create some space between your belief and your emotional trigger.

See if you can find a little amusement with yourself for your humanity.

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Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about my upcoming new teleclass “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child” on Monday, June 10.

If you’d like more insights about:
What triggers you emotionally with your child
How to be less reactive and more responsive to your child
How to clean up the hurt, distance, and mistrust after you speak angrily with your child

I invite you to sign-up for my teleclass today! I’ll be sharing lots more goodies and strategies with you then.

Click here to sign-up and learn more.

 

Filed Under: Children, Fun, Grandparenting, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,
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