That Annoying ‘Taken for Granted’ Feeling

November 27, 2012 By Leave a Comment

For those of you in the U.S., I hope your Thanksgiving was joyous and that you shared many warm, precious moments with your family. For me, it felt even more wonderful that usual. Here is what I’ve discovered.

For me, a joyous Thanksgiving means…

Feeling lovingly connected and relaxed with my family

Preparing, enjoying, and celebrating good food together

Sharing the food preparation so everyone contributes and does as much as s/he wants

Making pumpkin pie with ease the day before with two wonderful grandchildren ready with a tasting spoon each

Feeling refreshed and nourished at the end of the day

Cherishing my wonderful memories of a day well lived

What made your day special for you?

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That Annoying ‘Taken for Granted’ Feeling

When I talk deeply and honestly with parents about their parenting challenges, there is one that eventually surfaces. Buried under layers of their child’s misbehaviors is the feeling of being taken for granted by their child.

Feeling unappreciated and recognized for all they give and do for their child. Sometimes they call it “feeling disrespected.”

This truth is often shared quietly and with a feeling of shame and hesitancy to admit it, even to themselves.

What I find is parents often ignore this feeling because they’re focused on their child’s observable behaviors, the things they can see and hear, and not on the sub-text of their communication together.

Sometimes they don’t recognize it because they are busy doing, giving, and taking care of their child.

Does this sound familiar?

On the slip side, sometimes parents don’t recognize appreciation from their child when it is given, for example when your child does something thoughtful for you or gives you a big hug and says, “I love you!”

Often when parents feel unappreciated and taken for granted, their tempers flare more easily because they feel exhausted and drained. Yet, underneath this lies the debilitating feeling of being unappreciated for all they give to their child.

If you feel taken for granted, it is not a flaw in your child. The truth is your child longs to feel loving and appreciative toward you. She may not consciously recognize this desire nor have the awareness, but she feels it, nonetheless …even your seemingly uncaring teen or tween.

If you want to feel more appreciated by your child of any age, then it is you who must step up to make the change in yourself. It is you who has the insight, awareness, and resources to create a better relationship between you and your child.

I invite you to explore this for yourself. Here are some questions to get you started.

1. What are the ways or situations in which you feel appreciated by your child?

2. What are the things you do for your child that leave you feeling exhausted and taken for granted?

3. What are the things you’d most like your child to appreciate about you or what you’ve done or given? Write them down.

4. What does being taken for granted feel like to you?

5. What do you do or say when you feel taken for granted by your child?

What are the times you feel appreciated by your child? Please let me know in the Comments below.

Today is a great day to take action! If you’d like some help knowing how to have your child appreciate you more, I invite to you get my video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child.”

You can get this program for almost 50% off from now until this Friday, November 30.

Click here to get this for yourself and your child.

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Connie Recommends: “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child”

If you’d like to learn a new, easier approach that actually gets results without all of the reminding and frustration, I invite you get my new video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child.”

Every parent wants their child to be on their best behavior during the holidays and year round. This creates a lot of stress for you and your child. That makes this an excellent time of year to support your child to develop and live the art of heart-felt appreciation and kindness.

This information-packed video series teaches you specific steps you can implement immediately and will be invaluable for children of all ages. Plus, you’ll be able to watch the videos anytime, anywhere that is convenient for you, especially during this busy time of year.

You can get the video series for almost 50% off plus a F.EEE bonus by acting today.

Click here to get your program and to learn more..

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What’s Connie Up To?

Saturday, January 5

Imagine setting aside a few short hours to focus on your family and to reflect on what worked and didn’t work in 2012. Then be guided through a process to help you clarify your priorities for 2013 and to create specific ideas and plans to make the New Year even more harmonious, fun, and easy with your child. This F.REE event will be from 9 – 11:30 am Pacific.

Mark your calendars! I’ll send you more information as the time gets closer.

End of January Joyous Parenting Training

This is the class that will rock your socks when it comes to parenting and lay a foundation of deep understanding of how to be the parent your child wants you to be, the parent you will most enjoy being. Seven classes plus options for additional support. More info coming soon.

Filed Under: Children, Grandparenting, Loving Yourself, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Important Ways Teaching Manners Can Limit Your Child

November 17, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I had my 2-year-old granddaughter Madison yesterday morning, and she must have said “Thank you” to me at least 5 times in the short time I had her.

In fact, “Thank you” were some of her very first words, and it always delights me to hear her say it. Especially since no one has ever told her to say this, and I certainly didn’t tell her yesterday.

She thanked me for putting on her socks, for holding her doll for her when she asked me to, for giving her some of the berry shake I made. Ready to have it be this easy with your child?

I share all my secrets in my new video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in Your Child,” which is now available for you.

I’m so excited about this convenient, affordable program, not only for the results you can have, but also because the traditional ways of teaching politeness and caring actually limit your child. I tell you all about this in my article below.

Plus, you can have it right now for a one-time only discounted investment. Honestly, you can’t go wrong and it will make such a huge positive difference in your child’s development and in your relationship with your child.

Don’t miss out! Click here to learn all about it.

Happy trails!

To your Joyous Family!
Connie

P.S. A big, warm welcome to all our new readers! I look forward to getting to know you.

P.P.S. Do you know someone who is passionate about being a good parent or who could use a little help to create a more harmonious, fun, and easy relationship with their child? If so, would you please forward this email on to her?

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New Article: 3 Important Ways Teaching Manners Can Limit Your Child

Teaching your child manners and kindness can seem to be pretty straight-forward. Just keep reminding him and telling her, and it will eventually sink it. After all, pretty much everyone you know is doing it this way, so it must be okay.

Not so!

Everyone agrees it is hugely important for children to be self-confident, self-reliant, self-expressive, and to have high self-esteem. In fact, in my recent survey, the most important topic parents want to know about is fostering self-confidence in their child.

You may believe that how you teach self-confidence is unrelated to how you teach politeness and caring to your child. When, in fact, I have found them to be intricately connected.

When you care about your child being self-confident, self-reliant, and having high self-esteem, every interaction matters. The more frequently you repeat a specific way of communicating with your child, the greater the impact and the more powerful a pattern becomes with long term effects.

On the surface, words like “Tell him thank you.” or “Say hello” seem innocent and harmless. Yet when you look at your meta message, the message behind your words, the message contained in your words, your child hears something different.

Your child hears, “I really don’t trust you to know or say the right thing. I have to tell you because if I didn’t, you’re basically incapable of knowing what to say.” Not a very self-confidence inducing message.

Children feel disrespected and treated ‘small’ when we tell them to parrot back what we say. I’ve heard 7 and 8-year-olds tell their parents, “Stop telling me what to say!”

Imagine if your boss or spouse frequently told you what to say. How would that feel to you? Would you like this person very much? Would you even want to be around them? Or would you feel unseen, annoyed, and want them to stop?

This information may come as a surprise to you, and you may not have looked at what you’re doing this way before. I invite you to consider it.

I totally know how much you want to be a good parent to your precious child. You would never intentionally, consciously do something that diminishes your child’s self-reliance and self-expression.

Now the ball is in your court. What can you do differently that encourages your child’s self-expression and self-confidence? What changes are you going to make in how you talk with your child?

These are hugely important questions to ask yourself.

By making your child’s self-confidence, self-expression, and self-reliance some of your highest priorities, you will discover more expansive, effective ways to relate with your child.

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Connie Recommends: “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child”

If you’d like to learn a new, easier approach that actually gets results without all of the reminding and frustration, I invite you get my new video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child.”

Every parent wants their child to be on their best behavior during the holidays and year round. This creates a lot of stress for you and your child. That makes this an excellent time of year to support your child to develop and live the art of heart-felt appreciation and kindness.

This information-packed video series teaches you specific steps you can implement immediately and will be invaluable for children of all ages. Plus, you’ll be able to watch the videos anytime, anywhere that is convenient for you, especially during this busy time of year.

You can get my video series for almost 50% off plus a F.EEE bonus by acting today.

Click here to get your program and to learn more..

Filed Under: Children, Education, Grandparenting, Loving Yourself, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What is Your Appreciation Quotient?

November 8, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I spent much of yesterday developing the content for my soon-to-be-released video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in Your Child.” I am SO EXCITED to be sharing this information with you! I can hardly contain myself! 🙂

I’ve been wanting to share this easy, effective approach with your for quite a while. I feel so good to be putting it into a format I think you’ll like and that will get you results you want. I’m even including an extra video that is focused specifically on developing heart-felt appreciation in tweens and teens.

Plus I’m including a special one-time bonus for those who take action early. I’ll tell you all about it next week so watch for my email.

Happy trails!

To your Joyous Family!
Connie

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New Video: What is Your Appreciation Quotient?

Heart-felt appreciation is one of the most joyous feelings I know. It is the feeling of being amazingly, delightfully blown away by who someone is or something they do.

Sometimes people call it gratitude. I personally like ‘appreciation.’ This joyous feeling is good for your child and good for you.

In today’s video, I share a story about my experience being appreciative that will inspire you to have more. Plus you’ll see where so many of us fall short of what is possible.

What is your Appreciation Quotient?

What do you most appreciate in your life right now? How does it make you feel? Let me know in Comments below.

Filed Under: Children, Education, Grandparenting, Loving Yourself, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Get Out of the House…and Play!

October 8, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Doug and I recently returned from visiting my brother and his wife in Estes Park, Colorado, near Rocky Mountain National Park. To add to the excitement, we took our 5-year-old grandson Sebastian.

This is Sebastian’s first airplane flight since he was an infant, and I don’t know which of us is more excited – him or me. I am thrilled to be sharing this experience with him. He arrives at our home eager to get to the airport; then at the airport goes through dropping off our bags and security with ease. He is impatient to get on the plane and then for the plane to take off.

Every step of the way he wants to know what is going on. “When are we getting something to eat?” “Why are we stopping?” “Are we going to take off now?”

A few seconds after take-off, he grabs his stomach and exclaims, “Whew, I feel a little nauseous!”

He waits a couple of seconds, looks out the window again, and exclaims breathlessly, “Whoa! I’m a little scared!” Then leans back in his seat for a few seconds to re-group.

Soon he is over his caution and he gazes out the window, studying all he sees below. While still over the Bay Area, he points out the window and eagerly tells me, “Look, Connie. It looks like a map down there!”

Brilliant observation, He’s right. I’ve never thought of it that way. Through the eyes of a child…

On our return flight, Sebastian is now a veteran flyer. He knows what’s expected as we go through all the airport procedures, even taking 100% responsibility for his things going through security. I wasn’t about to touch his bin!

Family adventures give us such joyous, magical memories and deepen our connection with one another. They expand your child’s self-confidence, understanding of the world and ability to enjoy and be successful in life. A bargain at any price!

Below are more photos of our trip, plus tips and suggestions for creating your own fall family adventure, whether it’s an outing of a few hours or a weekend journey.

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I invite you to create your own adventure with your family this fall. Even though summer is over, you can still get out and enjoy the fresh coolness of fall.

When planning a family adventure, here are important guidelines to follow:

!. Choose you destination and activity together. Just because you drive the car, your vote does not trump everyone else’s.

2. If you simply cannot agree on a destination, then work out an agreement that works for everyone. This weekend we go here; next weekend we do what someone else wants to do. The agreement also includes no whining, complaining, or feet-dragging when it’s not your pick.

3. Think outside the box. What can you do that will be new to everyone, even if you’re not sure you’ll like it. Be willing to experiment.

4. Stretch your comfort zone. Maybe the idea of playing video games is like fingernails on a chalkboard. Yet can two hours exploring something your child loves ruin your day or do you harm? Perhaps you’ll discover something new about your child, and he might even see you in a different light.

5. Don’t let your child of any age talk you out of your resolve to do something together. Toughing it out with Mom and Dad won’t destroy his sense of self. Or it might, which could be a good thing.

Here are some activities you could do in a a couple of hours or a weekend:

~ Visit your closest state park for a day or a weekend and go exploring.

~ Take a hike. On our trip to Colorado, Sebastian hiked 4 miles at an elevation of about 12,000 feet without complaint or whining. Give your child of any age the opportunity to challenge his body and build endurance and strength.

~ Travel to the nearest body of water – a stream, lake or ocean. Walk beside it. Play in it. Look in to see what you can find.

~ Visit a museum near your home, one with something of interest to your child. Look for special exhibits that appeal to your family.

~ Visit a wildlife rescue center near you. What a great way for all of you to see wildlife up close.

~ Speaking of seeing wildlife up close, visit a zoo in your area.

~ Ask your child what s/he would most like to do.

Highlights and Photos of our Trip:

Seeing FIVE big horn rams, all close to the road, on Bas’s 5th birthday

Seeing and hearing the bull elk bugle and fight over the femiales

Watching Bas throw rocks in the water, swing sticks as we walked down the trail, use trekking poles, want to catch fish, spotting elk poop.

Bas answering questions and being sworn in as a Junior Ranger after extensive research to complete his Jr. Ranger Book. He took great pride in that badge.

Bright golden leaves of the aspen

What are your favorite adventure spots with your family? What do you most enjoy! I’d love to have you share them in the Comments below.

Here’s to experiencing and cherishing all the joy and beauty life offers us!

Connie

Filed Under: Children, Fun, Grandparenting, Loving Yourself, Parenting, Travel Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

The Most Important Parenting Question

July 11, 2012 By 5 Comments

I have a new video for you today that has the power to “rock your world” as my friend Isabel likes to say and in a profoundly positive way.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with all the things you need to pay attention to as a parent?

Do you ever wonder if you are on the right track as a parent or if there is something more your child needs and wants to develop fully, to be happy, self-confident and self-reliant?

Today’s video will help you cut through all the chatter and conflicting parenting ideas out there. This is the parenting question that is intrinsic to all other parenting questions. It underlies all parenting decisions you make.

Enjoy!

Let me know what you think, and if you like this video, please tell others!

Filed Under: Children, Education, Grandparenting, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
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