The Passing of a Leading Light for Children and Parents

May 13, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Some of you may know of her or have read her book. Some of you will never have heard of her.

I discovered Jean Liedloff, author of The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost, shortly after my son Orion was born 35 years ago. Her book profoundly impacted me because she confirmed and validated what I already envisioned as a parent.

She inspired me and gave me the courage to continue on the path I had begun. For this, I am deeply appreciative.

For two years as a young woman, Jean lived with Stone Age Indians in the South American rainforest. At first judgmental of their seemingly primitive and inadequate parenting, she discovered a new view of what human nature really is and what our children most need from us. She realized the limitations of our Western, ‘civilized’ ways of parenting.

Here is a must-see video that will most-likely challenge what you believe to be true as a parent and give you profound new insights in perceiving your child. Even if you are the parent of a teen or an adult child, you can learn a lot from this wise woman of our time.

The video is 53 minutes, and it is worth every second. Don’t let this go by! Create a time this weekend to watch it all. Share it with your partner. Let it make a difference in your life!

Watch the video here.

Enjoy!

Filed Under: Books, Children, Grandparenting, Parenting, Parenting Tips Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Happy Mother’s Day!

May 6, 2011 By 2 Comments

This is a big WOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!!! to all you mothers and grandmothers

who give the best you’ve got to your children and your family every day.

who ask the important questions when you feel a concern for your child.

who have the courage to do what’s best for your child, even when it means not doing what others expect or want you to do.

who want your child to be who she is and not who you or anyone else wants her to be.

who know and take action to value yourself so you can be fully present to your family.

who care deeply about your child’s Emotional Wholeness and make conscious choices to nurture it.

I celebrate all of you, even when you don’t do it perfectly or get it ‘right’ every time. None of us do.

I hope you do something fun for you this weekend and cherish the special moments you have with your child and your family.

Doug and I are taking Sebastian camping this weekend, something we all love to do while Orion and Nichola are taking a weekend for themselves (with Madison). I am delighted to think of them having a special weekend.

What are you doing this Mother’s Day that is special to you? I’d love to know! Please share your plans with other moms. You just might inspire someone else!

A heart-felt Happy Mother’s Day to you!

Filed Under: Children, Loving Yourself, Parenting, Parenting Tips Tagged With: ,

Children Get Smarter with Video Games

May 2, 2011 By 4 Comments

My thirty-something son Orion has played video games for many years, perhaps as many as 25; and he loves them. He’s often gravitated toward the violent ones, in which he competes against other players to see who goes down first or who makes it to the end first.

I’ve never worried about him becoming violent or aggressive in day-to-day living because that is not who he is. Children who are happy and mostly enjoying their life are not aggressive toward others. Perhaps he uses it to work out some of his frustration, which I believe is totally acceptable. It’s certainly an opportunity for him to have fun with his guy friends.

Beyond these reasons, I’ve always believed Orion was getting something more from video games that went beyond the ‘violence’ and social interaction, something that was not obvious to me as an outsider.

In fact, I believed an entire generation was gaining something valuable and developing unseen skills from these interactive games. Otherwise, why would so many young people and adults be drawn to them? There had to be something positive, not just the dumbing down of our society.

Fortunately, I have found an answer, one that makes sense to me and to Orion. My answer came from a book I just read Everything Bad Is Good For You: How Today’s Popular Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter by Steven Johnson.

Since childhood, Johnson has been a strategic game player even before the advent of video games so he gets his unique perspective from his own experience as well as from his in-depth research and his willingness to think out-of-the-box.

The startling discovery he found is people are actually getting smarter since the introduction of technology, which includes video games, reality TV, the internet, and popular TV series, such as 24 and Lost. IQ test scores have not reflected this increase in IQ because they’ve been adjusted upward to account for the increased intelligence and companies are making the tests harder. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Current Affairs, Education, Grandparenting, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Improve Your Art of Observation

April 28, 2011 By 1 Comment

The most important skill for every educator and parent is to be aware of what’s happening with a child emotionally and how he is perceiving and experiencing the world. This is not an exact science nor will it ever be. Yet it is a vital skill to bring out the best in a child.

Because we are all human, you look through your own interior filter, judging and evaluating what you see based on this filter. Your filter includes all the things you’ve learned and decided throughout your life until now.

This means if you believe children need constant guidance from you, you will only see evidence of this and will miss all the child’s actions where she is independent and does quite well without you.

Many people observe through a filter of looking for what’s wrong instead of for what’s right. Because of this, they frequently correct and try to improve their child’s behavior.

Or perhaps you believe that a child who yells is angry, aggressive or mean. You will miss or even misjudge all the times a child is loud because he is passionate and caring deeply about something.

Here are some tips to help you observe outside your usual filters.

1. Mentally step back from your child or the situation. This is simply an internal adjustment that you can make whenever you find yourself too emotionally involved in an interaction or concern. Imagine stepping back to get a wider perspective, like putting a wide-angle lens on your camera.

2. Turn off your ‘right – wrong’ and ‘good – bad’ filters. You want to be a neutral observer, not the prosecutor, judge, and jury. Finding a neutral perspective allows you to see more clearly and to make effective choices.

3. Set aside time every day to observe, to stand back and see what you can see with the intention to discover something new. I suggest you choose a specific time or person or whatever feels best to you.

4. Imagine you are a detective or an explorer in an unknown land. Then you’ll have lots more fun with observation and your discoveries will literally magnify.

By making neutral observation a daily priority, you’ll be thrilled with what you discover about yourself and the children in your life. With this newfound information and awareness, relating with your child will become easier and lots more fun!

Filed Under: Children, Education, Grandparenting, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Education that Nurtures Our Children

April 25, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Our traditional approach to educating our children with its testing, grades, limiting structure and teacher-directed learning troubles me greatly. I can use words to describe what’s possible. Yet the most effective way is to show you.

That’s why, when I came across this inspiring, beautifully-done video of a child-directed learning program in which children’s natural curiosity and love of learning are nurtured, I had to share it with you.

Voyager Community School in Farmingdale, NJ, created this short video to tell others about their school and to demonstrate the joy and effectiveness of their non-traditional approach to providing an emotionally-nurturing learning environment for children.

I urge you to take just a few minutes right now – it’s less than 4 minutes long – to open your mind and your heart to considering the kind of ‘education’ you want your child to experience as you watch this video.

Then pause for a few moments to consider your child’s educational experience and consider what options you may have to create something more supportive of your child.

Summer is almost here. This is a perfect time to reflect on and create the best option for your child and for you this September.

Here is the viideo! Enjoy!

Filed Under: Children, Current Affairs, Education, Parenting Tagged With: , , , ,
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