That Annoying ‘Taken for Granted’ Feeling

For those of you in the U.S., I hope your Thanksgiving was joyous and that you shared many warm, precious moments with your family. For me, it felt even more wonderful that usual. Here is what I’ve discovered.

For me, a joyous Thanksgiving means…

Feeling lovingly connected and relaxed with my family

Preparing, enjoying, and celebrating good food together

Sharing the food preparation so everyone contributes and does as much as s/he wants

Making pumpkin pie with ease the day before with two wonderful grandchildren ready with a tasting spoon each

Feeling refreshed and nourished at the end of the day

Cherishing my wonderful memories of a day well lived

What made your day special for you?

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That Annoying ‘Taken for Granted’ Feeling

When I talk deeply and honestly with parents about their parenting challenges, there is one that eventually surfaces. Buried under layers of their child’s misbehaviors is the feeling of being taken for granted by their child.

Feeling unappreciated and recognized for all they give and do for their child. Sometimes they call it “feeling disrespected.”

This truth is often shared quietly and with a feeling of shame and hesitancy to admit it, even to themselves.

What I find is parents often ignore this feeling because they’re focused on their child’s observable behaviors, the things they can see and hear, and not on the sub-text of their communication together.

Sometimes they don’t recognize it because they are busy doing, giving, and taking care of their child.

Does this sound familiar?

On the slip side, sometimes parents don’t recognize appreciation from their child when it is given, for example when your child does something thoughtful for you or gives you a big hug and says, “I love you!”

Often when parents feel unappreciated and taken for granted, their tempers flare more easily because they feel exhausted and drained. Yet, underneath this lies the debilitating feeling of being unappreciated for all they give to their child.

If you feel taken for granted, it is not a flaw in your child. The truth is your child longs to feel loving and appreciative toward you. She may not consciously recognize this desire nor have the awareness, but she feels it, nonetheless …even your seemingly uncaring teen or tween.

If you want to feel more appreciated by your child of any age, then it is you who must step up to make the change in yourself. It is you who has the insight, awareness, and resources to create a better relationship between you and your child.

I invite you to explore this for yourself. Here are some questions to get you started.

1. What are the ways or situations in which you feel appreciated by your child?

2. What are the things you do for your child that leave you feeling exhausted and taken for granted?

3. What are the things you’d most like your child to appreciate about you or what you’ve done or given? Write them down.

4. What does being taken for granted feel like to you?

5. What do you do or say when you feel taken for granted by your child?

What are the times you feel appreciated by your child? Please let me know in the Comments below.

Today is a great day to take action! If you’d like some help knowing how to have your child appreciate you more, I invite to you get my video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child.”

You can get this program for almost 50% off from now until this Friday, November 30.

Click here to get this for yourself and your child.

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Connie Recommends: “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child”

If you’d like to learn a new, easier approach that actually gets results without all of the reminding and frustration, I invite you get my new video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child.”

Every parent wants their child to be on their best behavior during the holidays and year round. This creates a lot of stress for you and your child. That makes this an excellent time of year to support your child to develop and live the art of heart-felt appreciation and kindness.

This information-packed video series teaches you specific steps you can implement immediately and will be invaluable for children of all ages. Plus, you’ll be able to watch the videos anytime, anywhere that is convenient for you, especially during this busy time of year.

You can get the video series for almost 50% off plus a F.EEE bonus by acting today.

Click here to get your program and to learn more..

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What’s Connie Up To?

Saturday, January 5

Imagine setting aside a few short hours to focus on your family and to reflect on what worked and didn’t work in 2012. Then be guided through a process to help you clarify your priorities for 2013 and to create specific ideas and plans to make the New Year even more harmonious, fun, and easy with your child. This F.REE event will be from 9 – 11:30 am Pacific.

Mark your calendars! I’ll send you more information as the time gets closer.

End of January Joyous Parenting Training

This is the class that will rock your socks when it comes to parenting and lay a foundation of deep understanding of how to be the parent your child wants you to be, the parent you will most enjoy being. Seven classes plus options for additional support. More info coming soon.

3 Important Ways Teaching Manners Can Limit Your Child

I had my 2-year-old granddaughter Madison yesterday morning, and she must have said “Thank you” to me at least 5 times in the short time I had her.

In fact, “Thank you” were some of her very first words, and it always delights me to hear her say it. Especially since no one has ever told her to say this, and I certainly didn’t tell her yesterday.

She thanked me for putting on her socks, for holding her doll for her when she asked me to, for giving her some of the berry shake I made. Ready to have it be this easy with your child?

I share all my secrets in my new video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in Your Child,” which is now available for you.

I’m so excited about this convenient, affordable program, not only for the results you can have, but also because the traditional ways of teaching politeness and caring actually limit your child. I tell you all about this in my article below.

Plus, you can have it right now for a one-time only discounted investment. Honestly, you can’t go wrong and it will make such a huge positive difference in your child’s development and in your relationship with your child.

Don’t miss out! Click here to learn all about it.

Happy trails!

To your Joyous Family!
Connie

P.S. A big, warm welcome to all our new readers! I look forward to getting to know you.

P.P.S. Do you know someone who is passionate about being a good parent or who could use a little help to create a more harmonious, fun, and easy relationship with their child? If so, would you please forward this email on to her?

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New Article: 3 Important Ways Teaching Manners Can Limit Your Child

Teaching your child manners and kindness can seem to be pretty straight-forward. Just keep reminding him and telling her, and it will eventually sink it. After all, pretty much everyone you know is doing it this way, so it must be okay.

Not so!

Everyone agrees it is hugely important for children to be self-confident, self-reliant, self-expressive, and to have high self-esteem. In fact, in my recent survey, the most important topic parents want to know about is fostering self-confidence in their child.

You may believe that how you teach self-confidence is unrelated to how you teach politeness and caring to your child. When, in fact, I have found them to be intricately connected.

When you care about your child being self-confident, self-reliant, and having high self-esteem, every interaction matters. The more frequently you repeat a specific way of communicating with your child, the greater the impact and the more powerful a pattern becomes with long term effects.

On the surface, words like “Tell him thank you.” or “Say hello” seem innocent and harmless. Yet when you look at your meta message, the message behind your words, the message contained in your words, your child hears something different.

Your child hears, “I really don’t trust you to know or say the right thing. I have to tell you because if I didn’t, you’re basically incapable of knowing what to say.” Not a very self-confidence inducing message.

Children feel disrespected and treated ‘small’ when we tell them to parrot back what we say. I’ve heard 7 and 8-year-olds tell their parents, “Stop telling me what to say!”

Imagine if your boss or spouse frequently told you what to say. How would that feel to you? Would you like this person very much? Would you even want to be around them? Or would you feel unseen, annoyed, and want them to stop?

This information may come as a surprise to you, and you may not have looked at what you’re doing this way before. I invite you to consider it.

I totally know how much you want to be a good parent to your precious child. You would never intentionally, consciously do something that diminishes your child’s self-reliance and self-expression.

Now the ball is in your court. What can you do differently that encourages your child’s self-expression and self-confidence? What changes are you going to make in how you talk with your child?

These are hugely important questions to ask yourself.

By making your child’s self-confidence, self-expression, and self-reliance some of your highest priorities, you will discover more expansive, effective ways to relate with your child.

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Connie Recommends: “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child”

If you’d like to learn a new, easier approach that actually gets results without all of the reminding and frustration, I invite you get my new video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in your Child.”

Every parent wants their child to be on their best behavior during the holidays and year round. This creates a lot of stress for you and your child. That makes this an excellent time of year to support your child to develop and live the art of heart-felt appreciation and kindness.

This information-packed video series teaches you specific steps you can implement immediately and will be invaluable for children of all ages. Plus, you’ll be able to watch the videos anytime, anywhere that is convenient for you, especially during this busy time of year.

You can get my video series for almost 50% off plus a F.EEE bonus by acting today.

Click here to get your program and to learn more..

What is Your Appreciation Quotient?

I spent much of yesterday developing the content for my soon-to-be-released video series “How to Foster Heart-Felt Appreciation, Politeness, and Kindness in Your Child.” I am SO EXCITED to be sharing this information with you! I can hardly contain myself! 🙂

I’ve been wanting to share this easy, effective approach with your for quite a while. I feel so good to be putting it into a format I think you’ll like and that will get you results you want. I’m even including an extra video that is focused specifically on developing heart-felt appreciation in tweens and teens.

Plus I’m including a special one-time bonus for those who take action early. I’ll tell you all about it next week so watch for my email.

Happy trails!

To your Joyous Family!
Connie

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New Video: What is Your Appreciation Quotient?

Heart-felt appreciation is one of the most joyous feelings I know. It is the feeling of being amazingly, delightfully blown away by who someone is or something they do.

Sometimes people call it gratitude. I personally like ‘appreciation.’ This joyous feeling is good for your child and good for you.

In today’s video, I share a story about my experience being appreciative that will inspire you to have more. Plus you’ll see where so many of us fall short of what is possible.

What is your Appreciation Quotient?

What do you most appreciate in your life right now? How does it make you feel? Let me know in Comments below.

Are You Missing Out on Heart-Felt Appreciation from Your Child?

Almost every parent I talk with in depth admits they don’t feel appreciated by their child.

Parents of young children don’t expect appreciation, believing their youngster is incapable of such awareness.

Parents of teens hate the lack of appreciation they receive for all they’ve done and are continuing to do for their adolescent, yet it is considered ‘normal behavior’ in teens.

Those parents with children between toddler and teen passionately hope their child will figure it out.

When my son was young, I committed to trying something different from what I saw parents around me doing…and with profound, amazing results. Now, observing my two grandchildren ages 2 and 5, I am continually blown away by their heart-felt appreciation, politeness and kindness toward me and others.

Watch the short video below to learn the most important part of developing appreciation in your child.

Being a Great Parent May Not Mean What You Think

Today I offer you a new perspective on being a parent, one which you might not have really considered before. Yet it is hugely important in bringing out the best in your child and to make parenting more fun and fulfilling.

The beauty of Number 7 of my Top Ten Parenting Tips is that it does not require you to try to change your child. Instead, the steps you can take are totally in your own hands.

Curious? Good!

No, I’m not going to tell you what it is. I really want you to watch this short (about 4.5 minutes) video to see what you discover for yourself.

Then share with me and other moms — What is calling you?