Myth-Busting Bullying: Why Kids Do Such Mean Things

Do you ever stop to consider why kids do and say such mean things to each other? Most parents I talk with about this question shrug their shoulders and reply, ‘I don’t’ know” and dismiss them as ‘mean kids.’

If you’ve been following this series, you know the bully is not the ‘bad guy.’ I find when you simplify things to their most basic and most essential, you discover there are two underlying causes to the bullying problem. I share these with you in the last two videos (each less than 5 minutes) of my series.

Here is the next to last one:

Every Child is Vulnerable to Bullying

I hope you’ve been enjoying my videos about bullying and that you’ve discovered new insights about some of the myths and causes of bullying.

You may believe that your child is doing fine socially and that bullying is unlikely to be a problem for her. Yet the painful truth is about 77% of children experience bullying of some kind -there are four different kinds – and almost 60% of children who are bullied never tell anyone, not even their parents.

Every child is vulnerable to being bullied. I see a few reasons for this.

First, as a human being, your child naturally needs and wants relationship and connection with others. Because of this, he is sensitive to how others treat him, what others think and say about him, whether that is kind and accepting or if it is abusive and shaming.

Secondly, your child may tolerate being abused to fit in and be included. Just to feel he has some connection with others. He may choose to give up his own power because of how he has learned to survive in relationship with others.

Thirdly, our society doesn’t really acknowledge or understand emotions very well. As parents, educators and society, we don’t know how to recognize emotional problems or how to respond. Almost everyone wrestles with finding emotional well-being. This applies to your child and everyone in his world. Thus, the possibility of an emotionally hurting child doing something abusive to your child.

As a parent who really wants to be a good parent, I know you want to do the very best for your child and to help him have the inner strength to either prevent being bullied or to respond to it in a way that empowers him.

In my teleclass next week “How to Bully-Proof Your Child and What to Do If It Happens,” you’ll learn how to help your child be:

  • so emotionally healthy and resilient he is not a good target. His feelings of internal power and self-respect are intact. He knows who he is, feels self-confident, and is not easily intimidated or belittled by others.
  • so emotionally strong and empowered within she have no need to bully others to prove herself
  • so connected to her own inner strength and compassion for others she make kind, courageous choices to be kind to others.

If you want this for your child, I invite you to join us next Wednesday, September 25 to discover new insights and tools to help your child be bully-proof from the inside out. This class is affordable and parent-friendly.

Click here now to sign-up or to get more info

Remember, even if you’re busy that night, you can still get this life-changing information for yourself and your child. The call will be recorded, and I will send the recording shortly after the class, plus a transcript of the call shortly a few days later.
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If you haven’t had a chance to watch the first five videos in the series, here are the links:

Myth-Busting Bullying: How Big a Problem Is It Really?

Myth-Busting Bullying: What’s It Really All About?

Myth-Busting Bullying:The Bully is Not the Bad Guy

Myth-Busting Bullying: These Strategies Don’t Work

What Did You Discover?

Over the weekend, I sent you an exercise to help you discover how much your child ‘wants’ to listen to you, the operative word here being ‘want.’ Have you had a chance to do it?

If you haven’t done it, I really encourage you to focus on the exercise questions I suggested for at least one evening with your child to see what you discover.

Stepping back to observe your interaction with your child will give you valuable new awareness and insights about yourself and your child. In my coaching and parenting classes, I frequently suggest parents observe a particular area of their family relationships to see what they discover. They often return with unexpected new insights.

Many parenting techniques rely on fear, rewards, and control to manage a child’s behavior and to get him to listen. Yet these approaches actually limit your child’s capability and full self-expression.

Plus, using bribes and reward dramatically harm your relationship with your child both now and in the long run. In the younger years, these strategies may appear to work and yield the results you want; however, as your child becomes a teenager, these old techniques put huge distances between you and your child.

Teens refuse to be controlled by their parents using these techniques.

Your child of any age wants a mutually honest, loving, trusting relationship with you. Without this kind of relationship with you, their desire and ability to listen diminishes.

A good way to begin to improve how much your child listens to you is with this easy, little-effort exercise. I encourage you to do it tonight!

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Here are the steps of the exercise:

1. Go about your day or evening observing the reality of your child’s desire to listen to you. Ask yourself these questions:

~ How much does my child want to listen to me?

~ What does she do that makes me feel this way?

~ What are the things I do that seem to cause her to pull back and not listen?

~ What are the things I do that seem to invite her to be closer and more connected to me and to want to listen and cooperate more?

2. Have fun observing yourself and your child.

3. Take a few moments and write your answers to the above questions.

4. Last question – What is my most important discovery or insight from observing how much my child wants to listen to me?

5. Share with me and other like-minded parents what you discover.
Share your discoveries and insights below.

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New Teleclass Next Monday! “Why Johnny Doesn’t Listen and What You Can Do About It”

An essential component of Joyous Parenting is having your child listen to you. Trying to raise and live with a child who doesn’t listen is exhausting and stressful. As a parent, you work much harder than you need to.

If you wish getting your child to listen were easier, I’d love to have you join us next Monday for this valuable class filled with practical tools you can use immediately.

If you’re busy next Monday, don’t use that as an excuse not to get this useful information that will make a profound positive difference in how your child listens to you and how much you enjoy one another.

Click here to sign-up and for more info.

Many people believe that parenting is one of the hardest jobs on the planet. It doesn’t have to be. With a few simple tools and insights and your willingness to grow as a person and a parent, parenting can be the truly joyous experience you envisioned when your child was born.

Here’s to making parenting easier and a lot more fun!

To your Joyous Family!
Connie

Don’t Miss This Call Tonight! Nurture your Child’s Self-Confidence

This is your last chance to join us for my class tonight “5 Essential Secrets to Raising a Self-Confident Child.” I have so much crucial information to share with you.

In fact, as I’ve been finalizing the content for the class, I’ve discovered I have SIX essential secrets to share with you. I promised I would give you the best I have about nurturing your child’s self-confidence, and that is exactly what I am going to do.

Often parents don’t recognize when their child is struggling with confidence, a lack of grounded trust in herself. Yet if your child has recurrent emotional meltdowns or angry outbursts, if your child hesitates, is often uncertain, or lacks motivation, your child is in some way struggling with self-confidence.

I invite you to take a moment and consider how important your child and his confidence is to you.

Then consider what you are willing to invest of your time and finances to nurture that. It’s probably a lot.

Now let this powerful feeling of commitment to your child and her self-confidence move you to take action right now.

Sure, spending more money and being on the phone tonight may not sound like the highlight of your day right now. But what if you leave the class more energized, more inspired, more focused and clear about what you need to do to nurture this all-important quality in your child?

What if you can make a profound, positive change in your child’s life by making a few simple changes in your own behavior and in your awareness of what your child needs from you?

The time is now. There is no more ‘tomorrow’ to sign-up. I’d love to share this information with you.

Click here to sign-up now.

If you already have something you’re doing tonight during this time and cannot be on the call live, sign-up now and I will send you the audio recording and the transcript within just a couple of days.

Plus, if you have a question you’d like to ask me about your unique situation, go ahead and register and then email your question to me by 3 pm Pacific today, and I will answer your question during the 30-minute Q & A at the end of the class.

Don’t miss this impactful, life-changing information! I am blown-away by all the content I will be sharing with you tonight!

Click here to sign-up now.

Oh, and when you come to the call tonight, be sure to have paper and pencil and your favorite drink so you can get the most from this class for yourself and your child.

I look forward to talking with you soon.

To your Joyous Family!
Connie

P.S. Please tell your friends and family who might also want this information about nurturing their child’s self-confidence. Make a difference in their lives too! Thanks.

5 Qualities Your Child Needs to Be Self-Confident

Every parent wants their child to be self-confident, but what does this mean? How can you tell if your child is self-confident? What qualities does he need to have?

It may not be what you think! Academic achievement or social acceptance does not necessarily mean your child is self-confident.

Your child is skilled at learning to be the person she believes you and the other important people in her life want her to be. Then she acts as she believes she ‘should’ rather than the truth of who she is.

Here’s your opportunity to learn those essential qualities your child needs in order to be self-confident. Look below the surface to see what you discover. [Read more…]