Are You Missing Out on Heart-Felt Appreciation from Your Child?

Almost every parent I talk with in depth admits they don’t feel appreciated by their child.

Parents of young children don’t expect appreciation, believing their youngster is incapable of such awareness.

Parents of teens hate the lack of appreciation they receive for all they’ve done and are continuing to do for their adolescent, yet it is considered ‘normal behavior’ in teens.

Those parents with children between toddler and teen passionately hope their child will figure it out.

When my son was young, I committed to trying something different from what I saw parents around me doing…and with profound, amazing results. Now, observing my two grandchildren ages 2 and 5, I am continually blown away by their heart-felt appreciation, politeness and kindness toward me and others.

Watch the short video below to learn the most important part of developing appreciation in your child.

Get Out of the House…and Play!

Doug and I recently returned from visiting my brother and his wife in Estes Park, Colorado, near Rocky Mountain National Park. To add to the excitement, we took our 5-year-old grandson Sebastian.

This is Sebastian’s first airplane flight since he was an infant, and I don’t know which of us is more excited – him or me. I am thrilled to be sharing this experience with him. He arrives at our home eager to get to the airport; then at the airport goes through dropping off our bags and security with ease. He is impatient to get on the plane and then for the plane to take off.

Every step of the way he wants to know what is going on. “When are we getting something to eat?” “Why are we stopping?” “Are we going to take off now?”

A few seconds after take-off, he grabs his stomach and exclaims, “Whew, I feel a little nauseous!”

He waits a couple of seconds, looks out the window again, and exclaims breathlessly, “Whoa! I’m a little scared!” Then leans back in his seat for a few seconds to re-group.

Soon he is over his caution and he gazes out the window, studying all he sees below. While still over the Bay Area, he points out the window and eagerly tells me, “Look, Connie. It looks like a map down there!”

Brilliant observation, He’s right. I’ve never thought of it that way. Through the eyes of a child…

On our return flight, Sebastian is now a veteran flyer. He knows what’s expected as we go through all the airport procedures, even taking 100% responsibility for his things going through security. I wasn’t about to touch his bin!

Family adventures give us such joyous, magical memories and deepen our connection with one another. They expand your child’s self-confidence, understanding of the world and ability to enjoy and be successful in life. A bargain at any price!

Below are more photos of our trip, plus tips and suggestions for creating your own fall family adventure, whether it’s an outing of a few hours or a weekend journey.

~~~~~~~~~

I invite you to create your own adventure with your family this fall. Even though summer is over, you can still get out and enjoy the fresh coolness of fall.

When planning a family adventure, here are important guidelines to follow:

!. Choose you destination and activity together. Just because you drive the car, your vote does not trump everyone else’s.

2. If you simply cannot agree on a destination, then work out an agreement that works for everyone. This weekend we go here; next weekend we do what someone else wants to do. The agreement also includes no whining, complaining, or feet-dragging when it’s not your pick.

3. Think outside the box. What can you do that will be new to everyone, even if you’re not sure you’ll like it. Be willing to experiment.

4. Stretch your comfort zone. Maybe the idea of playing video games is like fingernails on a chalkboard. Yet can two hours exploring something your child loves ruin your day or do you harm? Perhaps you’ll discover something new about your child, and he might even see you in a different light.

5. Don’t let your child of any age talk you out of your resolve to do something together. Toughing it out with Mom and Dad won’t destroy his sense of self. Or it might, which could be a good thing.

Here are some activities you could do in a a couple of hours or a weekend:

~ Visit your closest state park for a day or a weekend and go exploring.

~ Take a hike. On our trip to Colorado, Sebastian hiked 4 miles at an elevation of about 12,000 feet without complaint or whining. Give your child of any age the opportunity to challenge his body and build endurance and strength.

~ Travel to the nearest body of water – a stream, lake or ocean. Walk beside it. Play in it. Look in to see what you can find.

~ Visit a museum near your home, one with something of interest to your child. Look for special exhibits that appeal to your family.

~ Visit a wildlife rescue center near you. What a great way for all of you to see wildlife up close.

~ Speaking of seeing wildlife up close, visit a zoo in your area.

~ Ask your child what s/he would most like to do.

Highlights and Photos of our Trip:

Seeing FIVE big horn rams, all close to the road, on Bas’s 5th birthday

Seeing and hearing the bull elk bugle and fight over the femiales

Watching Bas throw rocks in the water, swing sticks as we walked down the trail, use trekking poles, want to catch fish, spotting elk poop.

Bas answering questions and being sworn in as a Junior Ranger after extensive research to complete his Jr. Ranger Book. He took great pride in that badge.

Bright golden leaves of the aspen

What are your favorite adventure spots with your family? What do you most enjoy! I’d love to have you share them in the Comments below.

Here’s to experiencing and cherishing all the joy and beauty life offers us!

Connie

How to Have More Fun with your Child

I’m going to the gym this morning with my wonderful son Orion where we regularly attend one of our favorite gym classes together. We both look forward to our Friday morning gym date and all the “it hurts so good pain” and the great conversation we share.

REMINDER: JOYOUS CHILD JOYOUS PARENT BOOK GIVEAWAY!!

From Monday, August 13 until midnight, Friday, August 24, I am giving all of my printed books away for FREE. And you are welcome to get additional copies for your family and friends! All I ask is that you cover the low investment of handling and shipping.

Quantities are limited so don’t wait until the last day to get yours! When they are gone, they are gone, even if it is before Friday, August 24.

Plus I’m including an additional value-packed gift for those who take advantage of my book giveaway.

Watch for my announcement this coming Monday when I’ll tell you how to get your FREE copy of my book and the added gift. I am so excited to be sharing this with you!

TOP TEN TIPS VIDEO SERIES

In case you haven’t been able to watch my recent videos, I’m doing videos on each of my Top Ten Parenting Tips, which are included in my book. Today’s video is Tip #4.

A word of warning: My Top Ten Tips can be deceptively simple Most parents believe they know this, yet most people do not actually implement these important basic ideas in their life.

Knowing something intellectually is very different than living it day-to-day. For example, when was the last time you tried to eat more healthy foods or to work out more at the gym?

When you watch the videos, you have an opportunity to deepen your understanding of the idea and how to make it a part of your daily life. When you live these truths, you more profoundly bring out the best in your child and deepen your emotional connection with her.

Here are links to all 4 tips I’ve done so far:

#1 – The Most Important Parenting Question

#2 – Your Child Needs Structure

#3 – Nurture your Emotional Connection with your Child

#4 – Play with your Child – below

All of these videos are short – 4 to 5 minutes in length and will deepen your ability to be the parent your child wants and needs you to be.

Happy trails!

To your Joyous Family!

Connie

Are You and Your Child Loving Your Emotional Connection?

Last week I promised I have a gift for you. Here it is!!

Beginning next Monday, August 13 until Friday, August 24, you can get a copy of my book “Joyous Child Joyous Parent” for FREE. Plus you can get copies for your family and friends! All I ask is that you cover the low investment of handling and shipping.

Why am I doing this?

The quality of the paper used in the cover is not up to my standards, and I want everything I do to represent the quality of the information I share and how I want to express myself in the world. Everything else, except the cover paper, is great about my book.

I thought, “What a fantastic opportunity to gift my book to you, my followers who are passionate about bringing out the best in your child!” Therefore, I am sharing my inspiring, practical book with you to assist you in creating the Joyous Family you most desire.

Please note: I have a limited number of books. When the books are gone, there will be no more for FREE.

My book will still be available in the future in a printed version with a quality cover I love, and I am in the process of creating e-versions of my book.

Remember, my book giveaway begins one week from today. I will send out an email to remind you. Plus in the coming weeks, I am doing a special video series of my Top 10 Tips, which are included in my book.

I’m so excited to be sharing this with you!

Today’s video is Top Ten Tip #3 from my book. Enjoy!

Another Perspective on Video Games

A friend recently shared the following excerpt from “Everything Bad Is Good For You” by Steven Johnson. It is a spoof on articles decrying video games, based on a fantasy that video games came before reading.

“Reading books chronically under stimulates the senses. Unlike the longstanding tradition of game playing – which engages the child in a vivid, three dimensional world filled with moving images and musical soundscapes, navigated and controlled with complex muscular movements – books are simply a barren string of words on the page. Only a small portion of the brain devoted to processing written language is activated during reading, while games engage the full range of the sensory and motor cortices.

“Books are also tragically isolating. While games have for many years engaged the young in complex social relationships with their peers, building and exploring worlds together, books force the child to sequester him or herself in a quiet space, shut off from interaction with other children. These new “libraries” that have arisen in recent years to facilitate reading activities are a frightening sight: dozens of young children, normally so vivacious and socially interactive, sitting alone in cubicles, reading silently, oblivious to their peers.

“Many children enjoy reading books, of course, and no doubt some of the flights of fancy conveyed by reading have their escapist merits. But for a sizeable percentage of the population, books are downright discriminatory. The reading craze of recent years cruelly taunts the 10 million Americans who suffer from dyslexia – a condition that didn’t even exist as a condition until printed text came along to stigmatize its sufferers.

“But perhaps the most dangerous property of these books is the fact that they follow a fixed linear path. You can’t control their narratives in any fashion – you simply sit back and have the story dictated to you. For those of us raised on interactive narratives, this property may seem astonishing. Why would anyone want to embark on an adventure utterly choreographed by another person?

But today’s generation embarks on such adventures millions of times a day. This risks instilling a general passivity in our children, making them feel as though they’re powerless to change their circumstances. Reading is not an active, participatory process; it’s a submissive one. The book readers of the younger generation are learning “follow the plot” instead of learning to lead.”

I love this spoof on reading! Brilliant! Cultural criticism of video games is over-rated and is not as harmful as many “adults” fear, often because it’s new and appeals to a new generation who require new skills and ways of being.

Perhaps it is not ‘either-or’ but ‘both-and’ with value from both reading and video games. I always love the quote from “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran where he talks about children:

“You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow, which you
cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

May we as adults create the lives that are ours to live and allow children the freedom and respect to create the lives that are theirs to live, without with perpetual doom-saying about the next younger generation.

The operative word here is “trust.”