The Five Gifts Your Child Most Wants This Holiday Season!

You know giving your child presents and material
possessions for the holidays are not the most important things you can do for
your child this holiday season. And with the current economic challenges, you
may not feel you have the usual amount of extra cash to spend on gifts that you
have in the past.

Another GI Joe action figure, the latest and greatest
Barbie or the “in” pair of designer jeans won’t really make a significant
impact in your child’s life, either this year or all the years to come. It
feels good in the moment, and it’s not an investment in your child’s future.

Yet if you’re like many parents, you and your child are
already planning and talking about those special toys and gifts she wants this
holiday season. You may even have some of them already purchased and stashed
away somewhere hoping she won’t find them.

We all love giving our children gifts. Not so much
because you value the gift itself, but because you love seeing the delight in
your child’s eyes. Their excitement at having received what they want.

But if you think about it for just a moment, you’ve
also noticed that often the glitter of these longed-for gifts fades quickly;
and they sit unused on the shelf. Or worse, they lie in the middle of the floor
where you have to keep reminding your child to put them away.

So how can you make this a holiday season where the
sparkle in your child’s eyes comes from his heart, and not just a quick, superficial
flash that lasts a few days?

Imagine that you could give your child gifts that
would last a lifetime and that would bring a smile to her face now and in the
future. Think how happy that would make you. It’s every parent’s dream.

Here are five essential gifts you can give your child
this year that are guaranteed to bring joy to his eyes during this holiday
season and throughout the year ahead.

1. Feeling safe

Your child feels safe when she knows she can count on
you to be there for her and to be consistent in your words and actions. She
knows what to expect from you and can trust you to manage and be responsible
for your own emotional reactions without acting in ways that are emotionally
and physically hurtful.

She also knows that your feelings, words and actions
are congruent. In other words, you don’t say one thing and do something else.
You don’t pretend to be feeling something you’re not by wearing a smile on your
face while you struggle emotionally with sadness, anger, or worry.

You care about her emotional well-being and take
action accordingly.

2. Unconditional love and acceptance

Unconditional love and acceptance means you look for
the good in your child and know that it’s there even when his behavior seems to
indicate disrespect and defiance. You love and accept all of him, things that
are easy to love and the things that challenge you. (This doesn’t mean you let
him walk all over you, but that’s a topic for another article.)

When your child feels deeply loved and appreciated, he
soars to great heights and enjoys a life of fullness and joyous
self-expression. Your unconditional love means far more than any gift you can
purchase to ‘show’ him how much you love him. When you live it, he feels it and
it goes right to his heart.

One of the best ways to express your unconditional
love is to spend time with him, doing things that you both enjoy and that
perhaps allows you to experience a part of his world you have not tried before.
When you share loving, joyous time together, you create memories that nurture
your hearts forever.

3. Self-confidence

Self-confidence comes along with self-love and self-trusting.
She likes herself and possesses a peaceful, strong certainty that takes her
through life’s up’s and down’s. One of the most important ways you can nurture
self-confidence in your child is to trust her and to feel and act confidently
about her choices and actions.

Without self-confidence and trust in herself, your
child will hesitate to put herself out there and to take the essential risks
that life demands. Self-confidence meanss she makes her own well-being a
priority and has the courage to act on it.

4. Ability to think for himself and to make wise
choices

Self-reliance goes hand-in-hand with self-confidence.
When you trust your child to reason things out for himself and to make his own
choices, he gains essential life skills to make wise choices. When he’s not
allowed to fully develop his choice-making muscles, he feels insecure and acts
hesitantly. He also becomes dependent on you to do his thinking for him.

Find ways to let your child make real choices for
himself, even when he makes choices that are difficult for you to watch. This
is a necessary part of his growth and development as a person.

5. Inspiration to greatness and delight in life

This is about self-motivation and an inner urge to
achieve one’s goals and desires in life. We all possess this natural desire and
drive. Yet parents and educators unknowingly and unintentionally say and do
things that limit and suppress this natural drive to greatness and joy in
children.

It is a huge price to pay to watch your child be
unmotivated to make smart choices for her own welfare. An important way to give
this to your child is by giving it to yourself. Let yourself be inspired to
take action for your own greatness and delight in living.

So that’s my list for this year, the essential gifts that are an investment in
your child’s future.

Of course, you want to give some thoughtful,
meaningful gifts to your child. That’s part of the fun. But most children want
fewer presents than they receive. Choose a few gifts that are perfect for your
child now.

Most of all, remember to invest in these 5 important gifts
this holiday season. When you invest in long-term heart-centered joy and
authentic connection, you’ll discover how profoundly magical and loving the
holidays can be, this year and every
year.